Holly Jo..love you so!!

This is a photo of my wonderful "newish" friend Holly from way out west, out near the ocean and a lighthouse, living with a wonderful younger! (OMG! not that!) man and a dog ... we met on a website for "adult sibling grief" and I wanted to introduce everyone to her here because she has helped me in ways no one else ever could. I thank you from my heart and soul ... I wear one of the agates you sent me, the rest are energizing on the windowsill. I eagerly read your blog everyday and got pissed off just now when some dumb ass nurse put a notation in your Sweetheart's chart that "the older woman is his girlfriend!" How dare that asshole! You go, Girlfriend, and you live the life lots of disenfranchised, bitter bitches only dream of. I'm sorry if I didn't get your permission to put this photo on here, but you are so beautiful to me ... and your heart is golden ... and you have the MOST awesome sense of humor! (and you think I'm funny...a big plus ;o) So, Bloggie Souls, meet my friend Holly Jo.......she is a gem of precious value. I look fwd to many years of getting to know her. To me she looks like a youngster ... a young punk who, by the way, belongs to a scooter gang - ha! Love ya, Dearie!!

Give the Ranger a little hug from this OLD woman xoxo KLH-Keep Laughin' Honey!

Off to see the Wizard!

It's the 1st day of Summer--I spent some time entering the Solstice listening to some music and dancing and singing (as I did the dishes and laundry) and am looking fwd to a drive northward to visit the Wizard. Ain't no yellow brick road, but there is a silver lining. Poured rain and thundered for about an hour and now it's gorgeous out. Can't wait to see the sunset over Lake Michigan and relax by the water, listening to the foghorn and seagulls. I knew it was a good omen when I left work Thursday night to a huge double rainbow which guided me home. My wish for my Bloggie Souls out there is that your first summer weekend is filled with much that is enjoyable--that would be "joy" in the middle of it all. Love one another and find something new and interesting to be happy about. I helped to save someone's life this week and that makes me feel pretty good. Now I will do my best to help someone in their grief and a very close loved one know I love them to help face some scary health issues. At first I thought, oh, I want this weekend to be about ME!!! and then I knew that "me" is the best when I'm giving back all the love and help and guidance I've received. I thrill to be going away with my husband as we've both been working extra hard. So...off we go! Tuffy Boy will have to deal with being stuck in the house, but he'll be OK (hope the house will) and when we get home he can show us he was lonely and missed us for 5 minutes and then pay us back by being gone most the day, but he'll be back because he knows how very much he is loved here...which is why he's going to be in and not out--to be safe. (Sorry, Tuf Tuf!) I will blow kisses across Lake Michigan to my friends out there in the Western world (you know who you are) and maybe we'll be watching the sun go down with some kind of synchronicity.

Highest and best blessings. Catch ya later, from your Loving SisSTAR XOXOXO

To see another sunrise...

I monitor phone messages for two psychiatrists. Usually I wait until the morning, but tonight I called in for one dr and someone had left a msg for me, thinking I'd get it tomorrow a.m., saying that I was to call 911 and send a car to where that person was. I got the msg 2 hrs after it was left. I called the dr who called the police. I felt beside myself not knowing what else to do. I called the World Ministry of Prayer for affirmative prayer for this person and myself, combining ourselves in the relationship forged from being the person who was called. I do not know what has happened, but I do know that I hope I got the msg in time. This photo is my cat Tuffy watching out his front window early this spring when there was still snow. We never know if we'll get to see another sunrise, but we can hold each other in our hearts and affirm the highest and best for one another. To any of my Bloggie Souls out there, take care of yourselves, esp your mental health, and know that I do so very much care how you are. Blessings to you...and to that Soul who left me that message. And Tuffy sends his blessings, too, for he is my own personal Angel who came just after my cousin died when a car fell on him he was working on alone, and then my brother died in a car accident, and then our dog had a tumor the size of a bowling ball and it was way past time to put her to sleep ... Tuffy showed up then and everyday I have to be brave enough to let him out the door to who knows where, because he is his own cat person, and because we are all here to learn our lessons. Goodnight from your SisSTAR. A very special prayer to my cousin, Georgie, also. God bless her in your prayers. XOXOXO

Happy Father's Day

It's 2:30 am and I'm winding down from watching several movies and just ending with a Globe Trekker series from Britain, ending in Wales (where some of my ancestry was from). The language sounded wonderful and the rocky mountains were awesome. Just after midnight I had to take a flashlight and go out and find Tuffy Boy out in the orchard on the picnic table. There's a large vacant area on the west side of that where loud rap music (sorry, ick) was playing and laughter and voices were heard...and me in my nightie with our motion detector light coming on. But I wanted to have Tuffy and me sing Happy Father's Day (to the tune of Happy Birthday) to Jeff ("Daddy" to Tuf). That went well and the offer of making my special oatmeal in the morning before he goes off to a Detroit Tiger's baseball game did also. So I better get myself to bed pretty soon! The photo here is of a glass plaque that Jeff gave to me years ago that I took hanging in the living room wall. He truly is my best friend...and that says a lot, since I consider myself fortunate to have some pretty really good and special friends. Today we both went and got haircuts together. It's the first time in our 22 yrs of marriage that's happened, but also it's the 1st time I can remember having a professional haircut two times in one year - ha ha!!! I usually hack away myself (at his also...I am pretty cheap, but then you get what you pay for, eh?) Of course, we went for our near-weekly visit to Sally's (Salv Army) and happily found bargains. Now he's asleep and Tuffy's here on the desk next to me. We just heard loud thunder and stared at each other a few seconds. I reassured him with a few pats. Today Jeff and I also stopped at the cemetery to show him my folks' headstone had been placed better after sinking down and I bid my father a happy father's day...I wish I would've remembered to take some of the gorgeous peonies to place in the built-in vase as I've had 3 or 4 vases full of them thru the house since the heavy rainstorms beat them to the ground. There are two, one deep burgundy and the other a pale pink that smells more like a rose, both of which I had bought for myself over 30 yrs ago and hadn't gotten them planted and my parents had come for a visit, seeing the poor things in their containers turning brown, when I talked my dad into taking them home to plant and try to resurrect them. Well, those are the ones growing here now where we live...resurrected indeed. I carefully removed the petals that were starting to fall and saved them in the hopes of trying my hand at making my own paper. I'm such a procrastinator and there's no "dad" to save that project for me, so it's me or no such thing. I'll keep you posted! It is my feeling that men can be mothering and women can be "fathering?" and vice versa, so to all my bloggie souls out there, I sincerely wish all of you Happy Father's Day ... with fond memories of moments from the past. Hold those good to your heart and blow the chaff away.
SisSTAR loves ya! KLH-Keep Laughin' Honey! xoxoxoxo

Love (or lust?) in the pond

There's lots of beautiful flowers blooming in the pond now...still no film...but earlier this Romeo was romancing his amphibian baby. The high pitched chirping singing came close to driving me mad, but I held on and made it through. After he got what he wanted, he sang no more. She held out quite awhile and I never did notice much in the way of reciprocation. Alas! he had his way with her, all while we watched nonchallantly. He had no shame, he just had to do it if he could.

There was another big electrical storm going through earlier this evening and Tuffy Boy was outside. Finally after calling from front and side doors to no avail, I decided to go open the garage door where he flew in like a cheetah from the neighbor's. He was happy for his comfy, safe home. Soon as I came in here, he jumped up on the desk and decided he wanted to get playful, though he seemed very much out of it, like he'd gotten into some catnip out there. Well, I don't know about that, but I do know that soon as he jumped up, this awful smell emanated from his back ... there was poop on him!!! Ugh! On top of his back!!!??? So, I am going to assume that it wasn't! his pooh but pooh of a mysterious nature. He seemed quite happy to let me wash his back off, scrubbing quite heavily, saying things like, "Oh, ick! yuck, gross, Tuffy!" and him looking at me nonplussed! (A nonplussed puss!) and usually he puts up a fight if I brush or comb him and has a really low "harrassment" tolerance,(which really bums me out, me who was born to harrass!) Perhaps his fat little ass couldn't reach around far enough to clean his own back! Or maybe he wanted to get up close and personal so Mom could take a good whiff, maybe his own sentiments? Who knows! But I'm hot in here, even though it's 76 (gimme 66 any time!) and I decided to try and post here since earlier I had to turn things off due to the lightning crashing all around! But, shit on a cat's back won't dismay me from feeling darned right blessed for still having our power, our electricity and air cond and lights (even though I have the candles going just in case). The office today was black as coal ... I work in a windowless cubbyhole with the door closed (great for a hermitess) and brought in a flashlight to move all the boxes of records which were beside the little refrigerator. I was pretty certain the doctor didn't think about that massive ice chunk in the tiny little freezer in the little refrigerator. It's gonna flood out, I fear, folks! and it's my room!!! I'm in there snug as a bug and don't want my rug to be...ahem! moldy/musty/skanky! No air, no copier, fax, phone, lights, no way to do much! Actually, I now see this as quite a wonderful day...except maybe for this cat who's sleeping beside me with a faint smell of poop on his back! I'm a lucky girl!!!

Goodnight now from SisSTAR ... hugs and kisses go out to you, my bonnie bloggy souls! xoxo

Happy Saturday!

Just a fun post to welcome Saturday. Though it's just past noon, I've been languishing around since 7:30 am or so reading "The Bronte Letters" in bed, getting up and down to feed food and treats to Tuffy, letting him in and out 3 times already. He seems to like that hot weather that was yesterday--above 90!! Not me! I will strive to keep the air cond higher than I would prefer, but it won't be easy for old Asthmeralda here! I could always stick my head in the freezer as in years past, eh? Last winter we managed to keep the thermostat near 60-62 deg most the time and even had our budget plan bill lowered! Not so easy with the heat for me, but I will do my best. It thundered and lightning'd last night and poured heavy rain, beating down my beautiful peonies. I think it must be the lot in life for peonies to bloom and then heavy downpours to hit! There are so many beautiful flowers blooming and me without film! (sorry, not a digital person yet) I will have to go get some today for sure. One thing I did last night, when it rained so hard, I walked out onto the front porch in my white cotton slip (turned into a comfy sundress by simply moving the waistline above the bazunkas!) and stood there staring up into the rain, as it pelted me with chilling cold splashes that just made me remember doing the same in the same yard when I was real young, me and my brother, with our bathing suits on, splashing in the mud puddles in the driveway, and running all around the yard, energized by the thunder and lightning, and pushing the limits of how long two little barefoot chillens should be out in an electric storm. All that from walking out in the rain for a few minutes. I came back in just so refreshed and energized and laughing! It was great fun--but then the older I get, the less it takes for me to call "fun" fun. And that, to me, is a great thing!

Enjoy your weekend, Bloggies, and know that your SisSTAR Kylita is rootin' for ya and sending a big MMMUUUUAAAAHHHHHH! Kiss! XOXO

KLH - Keep Laughin' Honey!

Bare With Me...

Been having writer's block, which is more like "editing myself" I believe, since so often the things on my mind make other people uncomfortable. Yes, here he is again, folks, my dead brother.

I was rummaging around being in the "Now" and found something I wrote 2/07 when Dana was "Six Months Gone" (and now, after I did 'the count' it's been 22 months). If I've written this here before, I do not know. I only know I just found it and in lieu of coming up with anything currently original ;o) I will be my own "Scribe" and repeat after me:

"Six Months Gone"
My brother--I saw your young widow today
w/the brood like a mother hen, but she's still
a chick.

I answered the childrens' questions, "Where
was my dad's bedroom?"
"Where did your parents sleep?"
"Why don't you sleep w/uncle...?"
"Why, why, why?"

I saw glimpses of them individually checking
me out--do I resemble you in any small way
that comforts them?
We have the same white hair--
My eyes are blue, but never blue as yours.
Your son got some of your clothing--esp of
interest is your bathrobe--he is eager to wash
it tomorrow--the belt got dropped in the mud.

We ate pizza, we laughed, we looked around and
at each other.

Your woman has a new man now--I tried my best
to not be sad about it--
You may have replaced her as soon had you been
left behind--with such a young brood--with a will
to go on--
to live and keep on going--
to make a new life--
--to face each new day w/out the Other.

Your two grandsons were here, too--
I just realized it was the baby's first visit.
He's a screamer--and very inquisitive and
he has blonde hair and blue eyes.
I wish I could scream, too, but alas! I need
to set a good example.
We all went to the Salv Army for a little
salvation...of clothing for the babies--
your 6 yr old Capricorn grandson kept
finding things to buy for his little brother--
the little Virgo brother like you.

When he found the red-tagged Goofy doll--
I gave him the $2 so he could buy it.
I was so proud of him.
I bought him a sleeping bag and little cars
his uncle (your son) helped him pick out.

I am glad we all got to visit--
I'm glad I let them all freely talk--they wanted
to see where I put your ashes.
I showed them the silver tiny trinket boxes
w/the little garden gnomes and your little pewter
wizard.

They find me amusing and I do believe they found
some comfort--as did I--in being together--
all because of you, my brother--
all because of you.

After all was quiet on the old home front--the
guys gone to work, Mama Chick & her brood
long gone and tucked away at home--the home you
helped create for them--
I stood in the back room by your old bedroom, I
looked for white hairs on your bathrobe--I slipped
it on and soaked in a little of your essence, then took
it off and tossed it in the laundry basket--
picked up our cat across my shoulder...and danced.

The song just now ending is, "How Do I Live Without
You?"
The answer, I believe, is ... "you just do."

God speed, my brother.
klh-2/17/07 1:25 am"

***********
sometimes when I post something I find myself checking back over and over again for any comments and get so excited when there are some ... and find myself getting sad when no one ccomments. I think that's why I've had "writer's block" because I shouldn't have to need to know anyone else has read any of this, but to have expressed it for myself and set it free out there in the "byte me" world ... only with the hopes that, should it touch anyone, they simply breathe a heavy or gentle sigh my way, and I won't feel lonely in my grief...and it's just that "Spring can hang you up the most."

Two tiny pink waterlilies bloomed today, and a white peony and spirea and toads and frogs sang the rains in from the pond...I sat on the front porch that reminds me of someone's backwoods cottage, esp after the downpour rains, and "made money" with the huge bouquet of Lunarias I've stored in the garage for several yrs. We have quite a nice crop of the plants now, also known as "Money Plants". I figured it was great to sow seeds of money at our front porch and to watch it grow year after year. They are so fun release the seeds on both sides to have the pearly white inner coin. I think I'll start a Money Plant/Lunaria business ;o)

I made a couple cards for friends which I find great fun and calming for me--and most often appreciated a lot, the best part. Someone said I had a "ministry of letters" (of course, he was referring to the two friends I write to in jail/prison, but it's all the same--the sharing of oneself for mutual comfort/entertainment, eh?). How about "Mistress of Letters"? Oh, now I'm really going off the deep end.................gonna git.

KLH - "Keep Laughin' Honey!"

GO RED WINGS!!! 3-2 in the 3rd period, game 5 at the Penguins (those youngsters haven't made it easy--and even now, afterall, game 4 was Sudden Death with 3 OTs after those Penguins hit one in w/34 seconds of the game left--I hear tell the Stanley Cup was all polished, coming up the hallway with champagne, ready, ready to soak someone....and!!!!! EEEEKKKKK! shrieking halt! Nadda ... Penguins won it in the Power Play in the 3rd OT. Lots of sleepy people the next day around here, even me (heavy sigh). (OK, husband, how's that for being supportive, eh, Dude?)