SisSTARS for PEACE ... Proud to be for Peace and Love...War is Not an Answer!
"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them--that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." -Lao-Tse
"The fates lead him who will--him who won't, they drag." -Seneca

Friday, October 23, 2009

Cat "Humor"

Have to share this I got in an email today. I've watched it 5 times and the words
that go with the video are so hilarious to me (but I must have a sick sense of humor).
I love the real "emphasis" on some of the words. Hope you enjoy! (whoever you are,
my teeny tiny teensie weensie fan base ;oD) ............Love from your SisSTAR xo

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Friday, October 9, 2009


Again, photo credit unknown, from a fwd yrs ago. Thanks to whoever took it!

So after my earlier rant of the day, I had a pretty good afternoon at work and got a lot accomplished. The doc was in good humor and we laughed some, which always helps. Him and a patient heard what was the shredder operating and thought I was singing or something - ha!

I decided that since it was pouring buckets of rain all day and all night that I would look for any and all fall colors I could see through the drizzly darkness on my drive home and there were beautiful oranges, reds and yellows trying hard to be noticed ... to uplift my spirits if I'd only look. I will walk on our little 2 acres tomorrow rain or not in my big green wellies and notice any beauty I can find. I also did a little prayer/rain dance sending rain out there to Dancin' Fool in the UK as she had written that it hadn't rained there in over 6 wks and trees she has planted needed rain badly. So, DF, I hope it helps you out!!!

Well, Ghost Whisperer is on so I gotta get off of here. Jeff left me a chicken sandwich from Burger King (the "free" of the buy one get one ;oD) and that was my dinner, plus a few crackers and peanut butter and a caffeine free Coke. Life is good...3 hrs of TV watching now and then Jeff should be home shortly thereafter. And tomorrow is another day..........I do so want to see the sun shining, but it is shining brighter in my heart and mind now and I won't waste my good moments worrying about bills or groceries or's what it is!

Love from your SisSTAR xo

Rainy, Gloomy but TGIF

Photo credit unknown...thanks whoever you are!

Today is a rough day for Tuffy Boy because it's been pouring rain all night long and the bed we had outside all sheltered for him somehow got soaked he spent his morning scrunched underneath my T-bird in the mud ... then came in, went in the garage and hung out awhile...came back in...went out under the car, came in, got brushed, attacked my hand, ate more, just went out after howling his displeasure. Such is life.

Today is also Friday which we are so grateful for, even if it is gloomy as hell and no end in sight, as it seems. There was supposed to be a "new neighbor" bbq at work from the new Century21 office OUTDOORS today ... but I'm not gonna miss beans and weenies much. The Cheerios and toast will suffice until I get home this evening from work.

A great thing we just learned is that one of our credit cards' interest rates is going up sky high beginning January since they CAN get away with it...and that includes the high balance already on it. We will probably have to get a consolidation loan to pay the frickin' things off. With our health insurance payments practically $600 a month (yes, with $5,000 deductibles each) we are about ready to cancel those and let the chips fall as they may. That'd go a long way to paying off credit card balances that won't go away. I usually remain quite positive, or I can force myself to swing back that way when I get down over the lack of any increase in our wages and the increase now repeatedly in water rates, interest rates, cars hanging in there, both 15 yrs old and counting (thank you, cars!) and property taxes, etc. etc., but when there's really no cash left to barely eat after the bills are paid, it gets to you after awhile. Eating at Wendy's is cheaper than groceries most the time on the $1 menu ... and we just got a notice that Tuffy is due for his shots, which he desperately needs since he wants to live outside most the time and there have been 3-4 other strays hanging around lately. Thankfully he is neutered, but I doubt they are, nor are they probably lucky enough to have shots and flea treatments, etc. Well..........I'm depressing myself, so I'm sorry for whoever reads this, don't want to bring you down. BUT!!! I am ALWAYS hearing other people go on and on and on about their sorry assed luck and I bite my tongue thinking, no, Kyle, don't go there, don't say how you haven't been to a doctor, dentist, gotten new glasses in, what, 5 yrs or more? I AM truly grateful that we have 3 jobs between the two of us........thank god for that. We have heat (60 degrees to keep the bills down all winter) and we had air cond this summer so I could breathe (with exorbitant bills) ... and we occasionally go to a movie maybe once a season.......but the movies at the library are free, even if they do break down so much and so much for the "CD/DVD" technology is so perfect bullshit.

I do work for two psychiatrists so I listen to others' problems all the time and type each patient's progress notes for the most part....thankfully one dr writes his out, but I copy verbatim all his phone messages for those rambling on and on about the horrors they are going let's just say it has rubbed off on me, beginning with the fucking interest rate of a credit card going up on a balance that has been impossible to get paid off in the first place. I just feel bad today and I need to rise above it...........and typing this as fast as a laser beam feels just good to me. Maybe I should go on "Word" and just type a bazillion word rant and feel so much better and breathe a sigh of relief. Oh, yeah, and I got a new Rx for my "rescue" inhaler (and I need rescuing more and more lately) but it's gonna cost me $60 and it's running out quick. Damn! Maybe I'll have to go to Sally's this wkend and find some piece of crap item for a couple dollars that makes me think that I went shopping for something wonderful! That's the ticket!

Hope you are having a better day..........and don't let me bring you down, it's only castles burning.

"Backs broke bending digging holes to plant the seeds, the owners ate the cane while the workers eat the weeds, put money in the stove and water in the cup, you work so hard that you died standing up."

KLH-Keep Laughin', Honey! (it only hurts when I DON'T laugh...)

Monday, October 5, 2009

Old poem for my dad

Photo: Lake Michigan at dusk
(freighter in background)
Having just experienced a death of someone close, I was nosing into my old photos and mementos again. I always seem to do that when someone dies. I found many great photos and letters from my mom and and things I've written in the past. Well, I just ran across this poem that I wrote 3 yrs after my father died depicting actual events that kept happening to me, which I deemed as "messages" from him. We always used "XO" for "hugs and kisses" in letters and such. Another thing was when I was a little girl I thought when you died you went into the sky (heaven) and became a cloud, and I would look for my grandma and various pets who had died (and find them, too ;oD) and I'd lay out on the grass and watch the clouds float by. Even as an adult I've done this, at one time seeing an enormous man swimming across the sky, feeling it was my dad, as I was on a 2 hr drive. It was above me for half the trip. My dad used to swim a mile out into Lake Michigan every year and it reminded me of that.
Well, true fact, my father died on Good Friday so his funeral was the day before Easter and I'd promised my husband before it happened that we'd go visit his sister and her family for the holiday and I kept my promise, so other family members could have room to stay with my mom. During our drive I kept seeing so many "messages," esp those posted on church marquees: "He is not dead, he is risen," etc. and repeatedly for weeks there were airplane vapor trails of parallel lines that I kept seeing (of course, since then, learning they were probably waste matter being ejected into the upper atmosphere, which really bummed me out!) but at the time it happened so often that it felt like my father was trying to tell me that we were just parallel worlds apart, very close yet not able to intersect. He also died during a full moon (kinda like yesterday was the Full Harvest Moon). Another message I got after both my parents had died the same day 7 yrs apart was sitting in my mom's living room staring out the picture window (our room/window now) I was looking directly south at night at the stars and, whooooshhh! there was a falling star blazing diagonally across the sky and just a few seconds later, whooooshhhh! another one went in the opposite diagonal, making a gigantic "X" there in front of message being, a big Kiss from my mom and dad. Now I realize you could say I was having "ideas of reference" (as the psychiatrists would call someone telling them these stories for a psych eval ;oD) or that I have a really good imagination, but, nevertheless, there were two falling stars/comets which made a giant X due south at the moment I watched.
All that having been said, the purpose of this post is to copy down this poem I just found. I usually don't like explaining my poetry, but what the heck! I am the only family member of the four of us left, so I may as well "tell the tale", and here it goes:
Pink clouds, blue sky,
purple heather on the hillside,
I look up and try to see
your face.
Jet vapors leave two big X's
kisses in the sky
Reminds me of those parallels
I kept seeing--
vapor trails of parallels--
for a few days when
you died.
Dear father, we all miss you,
know you're here now and then
watching over our mother,
and me,
and your son.
We're all doing fine now,
your soul must rest easy
to see,
but someone's still missing
amongst us,
time cannot change
nor peace erase it
that's how it always will be.
So I'll keep watching for messages
as I wander my life along,
like how the moon was full when
you'd gone...
...or did you stay,
leave half yourself with us?
Our realms are just parallel
after all is said
and done.
In Memoriam
On a little side father died around 3 a.m. and at the same time the next "night" my husband and myself were both still awake and mom was trying to go to sleep in my old room when all 3 of us heard 3 very distinct and loud knocks on the side door...
Mom came out of the bedroom, me and Jeff had been in the back room and all 3 of us came out and stared at the door and looked at each other.
Jeff went to the door and opened it and no one was there.
I said to mother, "Was that father?" and she said to me,
"Well, just remember, your father isn't quite himself right now."
I KNOW it was my father's spirit and it was an incredible and wonderful experience.
May you all have wondrous messages
from the Universal Soul
and live in
Peace and Joy.
With love from your

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Ten Four Good Buddy

Photo from OSHO
The past week we said goodbye to an old friend of the family, my ex-husband, Billy Jarvis. I say "we" because I was honored to be included in talking and visiting with him and his family the past several years as he was terminally ill with end stage cirrhosis. He died early in the morning on Sept. 28th, on the 30th his family was able to see him one last time in bodily form to say goodbye before he was cremated. I again felt very
privileged that his wife, Ruth, told me she would not mind if I was there. She also said she hoped I would come to the memorial service last Friday, on Oct 2nd. After work I went there and stayed from 4:30-7:30 pm and saw so many people I hadn't seen in such a long time. Those people had been my in-laws and I love them all dearly. They had been people my brother loved also, and some had not heard that he had died until this week. I got to watch a streaming DVD of family photos, seeing Billy's life "after me" which appeared to be so full with his wife and her young son, Jeff, and then having 3 sons together, twins Jake and Randy, and less than a yr later, Jordan. Randy was able to come home from Afghanistan in time to be with his father when he died, which was a great blessing. I was shown so many photos of people's children and met grandchildren, Billy and Ruth's granddaughter, Aurora, stared into my eyes forever, and hers were huge and blue, and she looked like she knew a secret. I also got to laugh and talk with Billy's first wife, Mary, whose brother had also died shortly before mine. Billy and I were both born in 1951 and have been married 3 times. Third time's the charm, so they say. I feel very fortunate that I had the opportunity to heal some old wounds, laugh, cry, share some in-depth conversations, and most importantly, be real and honest. He wasn't afraid and said he was at peace, but he cried a lot over having to leave his family and esp his little granddaughter who he fell in love with with all his heart and who would dance and sing for him as he shared his love of music with her. I believe she is just 1 yr old.
It is unfortunate that often funerals and loved ones' deaths are some of the only times that people gather together and show love and respect for one another. Life is so precious and it does go on.........and death is just part of it all. His memorial card he chose himself and the message inside was his: A Free Spirit Makes a Happy Soul. Be a happy soul, Billy, and I will keep in touch with your family. That song you chose keeps going through my head...Ozzy Osbourne's "See you on the other side," and his "Mama, I'm Coming Home." I'm not sure how it all works, but if it is true that you have a "reunion" with your loved ones...and mine...please give them all my love and give Dana a punch on the arm for me, OK? and thank you for being part of my life, which truly enhanced my Soul.
William Dean Jarvis
2-12-51 to 9-28-09