SisSTARS for PEACE ... Proud to be for Peace and Love...War is Not an Answer!
"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them--that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." -Lao-Tse
"The fates lead him who will--him who won't, they drag." -Seneca

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Ten Four Good Buddy

Photo from OSHO
The past week we said goodbye to an old friend of the family, my ex-husband, Billy Jarvis. I say "we" because I was honored to be included in talking and visiting with him and his family the past several years as he was terminally ill with end stage cirrhosis. He died early in the morning on Sept. 28th, on the 30th his family was able to see him one last time in bodily form to say goodbye before he was cremated. I again felt very
privileged that his wife, Ruth, told me she would not mind if I was there. She also said she hoped I would come to the memorial service last Friday, on Oct 2nd. After work I went there and stayed from 4:30-7:30 pm and saw so many people I hadn't seen in such a long time. Those people had been my in-laws and I love them all dearly. They had been people my brother loved also, and some had not heard that he had died until this week. I got to watch a streaming DVD of family photos, seeing Billy's life "after me" which appeared to be so full with his wife and her young son, Jeff, and then having 3 sons together, twins Jake and Randy, and less than a yr later, Jordan. Randy was able to come home from Afghanistan in time to be with his father when he died, which was a great blessing. I was shown so many photos of people's children and met grandchildren, Billy and Ruth's granddaughter, Aurora, stared into my eyes forever, and hers were huge and blue, and she looked like she knew a secret. I also got to laugh and talk with Billy's first wife, Mary, whose brother had also died shortly before mine. Billy and I were both born in 1951 and have been married 3 times. Third time's the charm, so they say. I feel very fortunate that I had the opportunity to heal some old wounds, laugh, cry, share some in-depth conversations, and most importantly, be real and honest. He wasn't afraid and said he was at peace, but he cried a lot over having to leave his family and esp his little granddaughter who he fell in love with with all his heart and who would dance and sing for him as he shared his love of music with her. I believe she is just 1 yr old.
It is unfortunate that often funerals and loved ones' deaths are some of the only times that people gather together and show love and respect for one another. Life is so precious and it does go on.........and death is just part of it all. His memorial card he chose himself and the message inside was his: A Free Spirit Makes a Happy Soul. Be a happy soul, Billy, and I will keep in touch with your family. That song you chose keeps going through my head...Ozzy Osbourne's "See you on the other side," and his "Mama, I'm Coming Home." I'm not sure how it all works, but if it is true that you have a "reunion" with your loved ones...and mine...please give them all my love and give Dana a punch on the arm for me, OK? and thank you for being part of my life, which truly enhanced my Soul.
William Dean Jarvis
2-12-51 to 9-28-09


Rhiannon said...

What a wonderful dedication and tribute to your loved one "Billy".

I feel good that you were able to speak with and be with him before he passed on. I hope this helps you with some closures, as I know you didn't have this with your brother so much before he passed on.

Seeing so many people at the memorial that you had not seen or talked to in so long. Yes, it is strange indeed how we all seem to get together at the "end" of someones life. Hopefully you will be able to remain in contact with a few of them now, from time to time.

I think you should make a copy of this post and give it to Billy's wife. I think she would love it. Aurora (the young granddaughter)is a beautiful name and the story you told about her "old soul" with big blue eyes. Very meaningful and beautifully written.

Love to you SisStar in this difficult but hopefully "healing" time.



Rhiannon said...

P.S. the Art pic is so beautiful with the moon in the middle of the forehead (like third eye?) and by the way I love Ozzie's "Mama I'm comin home" song too. There are quite a few of his good ones on youtube. Maybe I will try to send you some when I can.