SisSTARS for PEACE ... Proud to be for Peace and Love...War is Not an Answer!
"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them--that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." -Lao-Tse
"The fates lead him who will--him who won't, they drag." -Seneca

Monday, May 19, 2008

All Shook Up!

Wish this was a springtime photo and the black walnut was leafed out, but it's what I have. Our little humble abode. The view from the picture window in the living room is always beautiful. The other day I saw my very first Indigo Bunting! Have never even seen a bluebird around here. Then I discovered at the top of our triple-trunked White Birch are two holes, no doubt made by woodpeckers ... and I got the binoculars out and stared upwards forever trying to see the little flitting bird going in and out ... but it took a really long time to pinpoint that it was a chickadee ... one hole is really big and I do see several woodpeckers around, but I'm not sure if they would share living space that close together?
Today is the Full Moon ... wish I had an old Farmers Almanac to find its "name", like Strawberry Moon, Wolf Moon, (and I know it's not the Harvest Moon) but it has been an awesome sight out there shining brightly. It felt good to do some weeding in the flower beds over the weekend. The Muguet des Bois/Lily of the Valley smells heavenly and the lilacs, esp the French Hybrid dark blooms, smell blissful. I put some together in a small vase and about drove myself mad!
So many memories in this little home. I had a 40% off coupon at Borders for a CD and strangely enough bought one by Elvis--the Golden Hits of the 50s. Realized that was only the 2nd time I'd bought Elvis in 50 years! Yes! I was 6 years old when I gave my Dad three of my own $1's and had him buy these three 45 records for me on his way home from work:
All Shook Up by Elvis Presley
Lipstick on Your Collar by Connie Francis
The Battle of New Orleans by Johnny Horton.
All Shook Up, of course, is on this new CD of mine, as well as Hound Dog, the one my brother liked to sing when he was really little (he'd sing: "you ain't nuthin' but a hound dogga")
I remember 6 yrs ago when I was one of the Maid of Honors at his wedding, they had karoake at his wedding reception and, for the first time ever singing karoake, I got up and sang "All Shook Up" and dedicated it to my brother...I saw him immediately leave the bldg (Dana has left the bldg) with some buddies of his. Guess he couldn't take the nostalgia of it all. But I certainly knew the words to that song! ("my insides shakin' like a leaf on a tree!"--who knew it could relate to high anxiety later in life, eh?)
And as long as I'm into the nostalgia, I was telling Jeff this morning about my very first story I ever made up (that I can remember) and how every time, I'd go up to my Mom and whisper in her ear (and already she'd start laughing because she KNEW what it was going to be): "I wanna tell you a story!" Here is that story for the first time written down, folks. It is very short, so bear with me, OK?
"Once there was a man and the man had a dog...and the man took the dog for a walk.
The man said, 'What's your name?'
And the dog said, 'My name is Picklesucktoe!' "
and, of course, just as I would say the dog's name, I'd start laughing hysterically and so would Mama and this would go on for months. I think I was trying to make her laugh whenever I could. I tend to do that even now to friends ... and definitely to the doctors I work for (hey! they need it!) so I never went on to become a famous author, or a famous singer, or a famous anything, but I can still sing "All Shook Up" and still remember a story I made up when I was probably 3 or 4. I sleep in the room I first slept in when I was 11 days old. I sit here in the "Blue Room" typing this to "you" in the room I was probably conceived in.
Shit, man! Maybe I need to make some changes? Move far away or ... nah! That's not gonna happen. I sat out in the old McIntosh apple tree last weekend and smelled the blossoms' heady perfume and whistled at some tanagers ... sat at Dad's old picnic table we gave him for Father's Day--his last one--hey! that's the ticket! I'll paint the picnic table and we'll have a picnic soon! And I'll take the little boom box outside and blast away Elvis songs and do the twist out in the orchard! It'll be a blast from the past in the present! and what a gift that is to me!
Sending love out there from your

Monday, May 12, 2008

Writer's Block ;o(

(photo by Renee C.)
I can't believe I haven't written anything in 10 days. I guess I'm in a funk, a slump, Melancholy Baby, so to speak. Mother's Day weekend was gorgeous Saturday and then Sunday it poured rain all day long, and I kept thinking about my Mom, then about my brother who would've had his 6th wedding anniversary this past weekend. Then I thought about how I got married 29 yrs ago today ... to my ex-husband who is very ill right now. I seem to be just having one hell of a pity party for myself these days, and yet I know that I am truly happy in many ways. But the "G" word has me by the throat sometimes and I get choked up and can't breathe. I'm tired of grief ... grieving over so much lost. I believe it's time I looked at my life as it is right here and now and see my wonderful husband, our funny, furry feline who somehow decided to move on in when Mandy Girl died. I even like both my jobs for the doctors. I find them ethical, kind and yet quite amusing in their own right. They let me be late and don't bitch. I love that in a job! (I really! love that in a job!) Maybe it was the $1,400 repair for the T-bird with no big desire to buy another vehicle and have a car payment or high insurance premiums. And! our gas bill this month was a credit and our budget plan went down even further. It pays to be menopausal and liking to be cold! I think I'm in a rut ... wanting to make everyone comfortable, wanting to please others, not even remembering how to make myself uplifted. I sure don't blame anyone for not reading my blog lately because I can't seem to get in the groove of writing it and prefer instead to go to others' blogs who are posting beautiful, gorgeous nature photography and some meaningful poetry ... at a time when I can't focus on writing my beloved poems.
So! I pledge to myself that I will do my best to give my grief a rest ... put it on the back burner, let it simmer and boil down to some good grief gravy ... and come out with my boxing gloves on and wrestling with some old ghosts in the shadows.
Perhaps the sun will shine brighter tomorrow and all that greenery out there will spark my heart to be the Lark and not so much the Nightingale.
OK, so that reminds me of a poem I wrote:
The Lark
She tried to find the spark
of what it took to be the Lark
Dawn found her fresh asleep
Through twilight and eve's darkness
she sailed!
Alas! she truly was
the Nightingale.
...and so it is!
Highest and best blessings...

Friday, May 2, 2008

TGIF xoxoxo

(click on photo to enlarge my handsome kitty's face to see his sprig of catnip and teddy bear!)

It's Friday! Yeah!! and I have finagled a day off by working extra last night, so I am going to enjoy this beautiful 70 degree day in SE Michigan, already saw 3 deer munching on vegetation in the "back 2" and plan on going to make waffles and eggs for breakfast and then ... hmmmm!? who knows what I can come up with. I will spend some fun time with Jeff and Tuffy Boy (he says hello ^;^ prrrrrrrrrr) Any of you "reading me" out there, please do yourselves a favor and have the best day possible, and a weekend that gives you fond memories. Love yourselves and each other and *poof!* here's a kiss blown out there to you!
KLH - Keep Laughin' Honey xoxoxo