Wow! I can't believe how time flies ~~ ~~ (time flying ;oD) ... Yes, I have been lost in facebook-land and finding that I've gotten my feelings hurt there, which no one really knows about nor would care, I do believe. I won't go into the boring details but for some reason I up and "unfriended" 20 people about 10 days ago. I miss some of them, yet most of the ones were people I rarely heard anything from, some absolutely NOTHING ... and others were friends of a friend whose friend hurt my feelings (or, I should say, I allowed! my feelings to be hurt?!) so I just said heck with it ... I did keep a few people from that "tribe" as we'd called ourselves, as they've been so very kind and loving ... I would get angry when people would talk about facebook as "fakebook" and that the friends weren't real but imaginary. I'd defend that and say that this group of people were like minded for me and spiritually centered ... and yet funny and a little bit risque even! But, alas, it is what it is .... I never would have known them if I hadn't been on facebook.......which has taken me away from talking to friends on the phone, too busy to do the dishes, too enthralled to write letters (which I truly love to do!), too "curious" to read the many volumes of books I always loved to read ... in other words, I do believe I've been addicted to facebook. I'm thinking of shit-canning it altogether, leaving it intact and putting it on the back burner to see if I can come up with enough of a life which isn't lived in e-virtual-ness enough to actually have a friend over, or visit one, or write to one or talk to one! There's a lot of talk about what "we" could, would, want to, will do on there, but most live tons of miles away .... I can barely get a peep out of people I actually DO know or family members! So those virtual strangers I'd met have been a big part of my life the past 6 months or more ... which is a lot of time when it is intensified.......but to feel excluded, shunned, "restricted" is to go smack back to elementary school when I was so painfully shy and would try to go up to a little group of girls on the playground and hang around them, inevitably one or more would annoyingly look at me and say, "What do YOU want, NOSEY!" That's exactly what it felt like ... just not being good enough or ??? enough to fit in with someone who really should mean nothing to me at all!? Go figure!
I was so thrilled just now when I bopped on here and saw a favorite bloggie Soul post a comment to my last entry! Just yesterday she wrote to me! How exciting! and another one posted a comment I haven't responded to yet but I sooooo appreciated his acknowledgment of my little goofy story and how he and his wife could relate about buying very expensive frameless glasses that I am paranoid I'll scratch or break ... and have to be soooo careful cleaning them!
There is a certain instant gratification with facebook that I don't get here because a lot of my ol' blogger buddies don't seem to be posting either. We all go through different phases ... like the moon, which tonight, by the way, looked like that big Cheshire Cat grin which I love to see up in the dark black sky!!! I see it at the most opportune moments when I'm feeling low or sad.....without realizing it's up there, I'll often catch a glimpse of it and it ALWAYS makes me smile and even laugh out loud ... from the little fingernail crescent to the big grin just before the half moon.....I do like simple pleasures and I do love communicating with others, and how wonderful when those others can be like minded........or at least tolerant of other points of views without judgment.
Perhaps letting facebook sit awhile to stew in its juices (and oh, there's so MUCH of those on there! a veritable hodgepodge of just ANYTHING instantly!) .... perhaps that would allow me to keep up my good work with my new vegetarian eating style ... a healthier regimen of walking ... getting that hula hoop I've wanted for several years now! Afterall, sitting in front of the computer at work, or on the phone at work ... then come home and jump on the computer to stare at facebook after a very quick scan of my regular emails ... well, let's just say "secretarial spread" is a big problem of the keester! Oh, and speaking of keesters!!! My "new-to-me" 2007 Saturn Aura is equipped with butt warmer seats! They are coming in pretty darned handy in this very cold weather we are having. Last night was the first snow that actually stayed on the ground. But then it was bright and sunshiny all day as opposed to yesterday's gloomiest, rainiest day ever ... 2-1/2" and then turned to snow overnight @;@ But what do I expect for Nov. 30th!?
Today is my nephew's 29th birthday. I miss him. I haven't seen him since May of 2007 when we told him he couldn't live here any more. I guess he showed us, eh? Never one communication from him since ... and he even had a little boy and never told us. Well, I'm kind of used to being that SisSTAR of the C.O.D.E., that Childless...Orphaned...Daughter...of Enlightenment. It isn't always enlightening to realize your family doesn't care enough about you to contact you for years on end, or that your family equals 2 humans and a cat ^;^ but that's the way it is. It's a good family, though, even though Cat scratched the crap out of my hand yesterday! He was ticked off because it was pouring rain and his shelters we made for him outside were all wet and soggy with no chance to replace them yet ... and he hates to stay inside too much, even with a foot of snow! So he was a big grouch and I was massaging his little toes - WRONG!! He teased me by spreading his paw so I could give him Mama's famous "kitty massage" and "little toes" massage when he struck quick and hard and I have 8 claw marks on my right hand to prove it. I like to call it my vaccination from him ... as I used to be allergic to cats but don't seem so much with him...........unless I am just deluded because I love him so much............and he bites the hand that feeds him! ............well, that's it for another day, Bloggie Souls! I'd love to hear from you!! I hope the new year will be a new time to reconnect and elevate our consciousnesses to greater degrees...........with Love, Truth, Justice, Compassion, Tolerance, Kindness...and did I say LOVE?
with Love.........from your SisSTAR XOXOXOXOXO
5 comments:
Hi dear "Sister"...I hope this goes through. I have tried to post a comment recently but it wouldn't go through.
Welcome back to blog world. I hate facebook...because even though I never went on it or joined it I knew from other people's experience how it is there...plus it "extends" all kind of info about you and your "info" when you get on someone else facebook. The lack of privacy control I hate with a passion! And a lot of these people just make their whole life from facebook.
My sister sometimes gets on my computer to check her e-mail and I always tell her "don't click on any "click on my facebook" e-mails, because if she does, facebook somehow gets my info including my e-mail address, which my sister is not using my e-mail address but her own..but facebook starts sending me things and has info on me I never participated in. You must be careful. And yes, it is kind of addictive!! I like blogs better.
Part of reason I've not been on my blog much, is most of my fellow bloggers that used to drop by are no longer using their blog but are on facebook now. The other reason is this year has been incredibly "different" and a lot of things going on, since my sister has been in my life. I am "still" trying to find boundaries with her..we both are. I'm not a "taxi" I tell her, so she might soon be applying for a drivers license. I hope! We will see. My car is getting old and having problems with it. I worry.
Anyway thinking of you often. I have not forgotten you my friend. I wish I had more "relaxing" not "rushing' days. The "system" runs me I am being controlled..it's not easy and hard to explain unless people have experienced it. I feel the loss of my privacy and we are all always being "checked" out with one thing or another if you living in poverty and on the bottom of the totem poll. Not complaining so much as I feel big parts of my "life" have been taken away and not much time for creativity or even to spend time with my cat. I am being pulled in so many different directions I just want to yell "stop"!!
I broke up with boyfriend for the very last time. Shame on me, a lot of lessons learned from it "finally". Narcisstic people suck. They are unable to love others, other than themselves. That's all.
So, here I am and wanted to let you know. I've not as much time to blog but also lost my "creativity" once again. Hopefully it will come back. Life changes and what a "RADICAL" Rabbit year hey?
Bless this world and let's hope for a better new year than this one...of course history is being made and maybe from all of the chaos "love, hope, peace and change" are coming are way because of it..I feel many people in this country are finally "getting it" it's just that we had to have very scary things that affected us in order for this country to finally "come around"! You think?
Hope this goes through..I will click and try it and hope you get this.
Love, Rhi
P.S. Did I just miss your Birthday? Or is it on it's way? Regardless hope you "had" or have a beautiful Birthday sister of the code evolving.
Love,
Rhi
Hi Kyle, So glad to hear from you! Thank you so much for taking the time to suggest some things to help me. While I look normal now, many problems remain (mostly) hidden. With the cold weather approaching again, I plan to buy some earmuffs, and also will probably start wearing an eye patch when I walk on the beach. Even though the eye blinks now, it dries out - still can't cry. Otherwise, I'm doing well.
Have enjoyed reading your post here. I have to agree with you about Facebook. While they promote socialization, perhaps it's not the right kind of socialization because the more time we spend there, the less social we become in the non-electronic world. Blogging is one thing that I really enjoyed, but I lost patience with the system of uploading photos in reverse order. It's tricky and confusing when trying to tell a story, especially with my old brain. lol On the other hand, Facebook is so much easier. Upload photos to an album and it's done so easily.
Anyway, I wanted to stop by to say "Thanks!" and to wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Birthday, and a wonderful New Year!!
Hugs
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