Blogger has changed somewhat since my "olden days" and it's frustrating to me. Just tried to post a photo and I don't know where it ended up?? So I will plug along and just say that I have been on my blog for a few moments after having encouraged my nephew to keep writing and he posted something thanking me...well, that just got me going and I've found comments from friends and even strangers that I hadn't known about for over 2 months. See what happens when I'm 'liking' mind numblingly on facebook everyday?? or playing solitaire like a crazy loon...fast as I can and frantic?? And why?? Who knows...gets rid of heart palpitations sometimes because I think it just takes my mind off things I'd rather not have it on.
Saw a movie last night with my husband at an art theatre in Royal Oak ... called SAMSARA. I'd picked up a postcard with the most interesting photo and words about it at our favorite vegetarian restaurant Inn Season ... and the movie ended up being shown in the same town...so we went back the next night to see it. We went so excitedly right after watching Once Upon on Time on TV ... so happy to go to a movie! an art movie! And we were laughing and feeling so nice and good and welcoming a diversion ... and it was stunningly beautiful for about halfway through it ... and then it became so very disturbing i went from hardly being able to look at certain things to crying and hiding my eyes (thru partly open fingers) and feeling so bad that I'd subjected Jeffrey to this movie I'd looked so fwd to seeing ... it took 5 years and 25 countries with much time lapsed photography and it seemed as if it would be a vision feast ... well, it was feast and it was vomitous! It would have been a good ad, in the middle of a PETA organizational video ... horrors of how "meat" animals were treated ... I don't even want to give you any visuals ... I was so grateful I had become vegetarian for over a year ... and I do believe Jeff is highly considering it now also. He told me it reminded him of when he was a child and what would have to happen to eat the meat animals ... and how it horrified him then and this did now too.
But not just the animals...cultures in and of themselves that made me realize how "Made in China" or many other countries that crank out items after items ... or meat or you name it ... life size female sex dolls that looked unbelievably real ... all naked either upside down or right side up ... tons of 'em ... and all the technological WASTELANDS with difficult to watch people wading through toxic sludge to find something that may be saleable somewhere in it all ... to ski resorts built INSIDE at Dubai in the desert! and then there was 2 men who seemed like twins but the one had sort of strange eyes and I thought perhaps he had some affliction ... and his face kept twitching and wincing ... you never knew what country you were in or what was what for the most part ... and the credits were flying by so fast, it was hard to read and you can imagine 5 yrs worth and 25 countries! Well, turns out that guy with the winching face was a CLONE! of the other man who looked like his "better" twin!!! OMG!
There WERE gorgeous visuals and ethereal music emanating often and I absolutely love time lapsed photography esp of landscapes and all the sun/shadow/moon/stars going by ... beautiful monasteries with Tibetan monks playing wondrous instruments and oriental dancers and palaces and desert sands that had obviously been enormous storms that invaded homes that you didn't know if the homes had been emptied out before or after being piled halfway up the walls with sand in every way possible.
I felt somewhat betrayed by a movie I expected to be beautiful beyond what I'd seen for a long time and in the beginning I felt so peaceful and serene and my legs would shake with the excitement of the gorgeous scenery and music blending together. Then mid-way thru...horror struck. And this was no special effects ... this was cultural humanity shockingly brutal and perverted and plain sickening. If I could be so ... well...asking to much of anyone ... I would suggest that everyone! should see it so maybe they wouldn't keep buying the latest and greatest new tech invention or eat animals that are not even slaughtered...just plowed through, chickens sucked into a big machine being driven right into them as we watched ... and many young pink baby piglets suckling at what you see of their mother's teats only to eventually see what the mother was contained in ... big heavy barred cage which she bulged out of, no room to move an inch ... just like she was a blob that no one would care a thing about...except maybe those piglets who needed something to eat ... and then pan right to a factory of massive amounts of employees with their slash here/ rip open there, haul out guts and fling 'em down and repeat ... over and over...all day long...big white hogs hanging, heads gone, looking unbelievably like humans being gutted ... I am so sorry for anyone who might be reading this who wished they weren't. At least you aren't seeing the movie ... now from me ... and I am either warning you NOT to ... or daring you TO see it ... but I wouldn't ask anyone to see it on my account, because it was an assault to my sensitivities ... I love MOTHER EARTH so much ... and animals ... I hold them right up there as important as I am ... and after watching the factories it panned over to huge fat people (and I am quite heavy myself, so I'm not making fun of them) at fast food places gobbling down hamburgers ... not knowing or caring where that meat came from. When I used to say "mystery meat" I no longer can do that ... it's not a mystery...it comes from SUFFERING!
I didn't intend to write on this movie, but I guess I have to exorcise it from my senses. Jeff adn I spoke about it today ... I usually am one to rattle on and talk talk talk about this and that ... we went home in silence and I didn't want to make him listen to one thing that I felt about it nor expect him to talk about what he felt, either. I apologized to him profoundly today for subjecting him to what he saw. I am glad he doesn't have dreams he remembers and also that I am not prone to nightmares.
Does it mean that that word Samsara, Sanskrit for changing ways on the wheel of life ... has to be SOOOO very extreme to open up to beauty like spectacular scenery and divine sounding voices singing ... to chaotic horrors of what some people have boiled down to ... a pulsing beat of music with beautiful women clad in bikinis with numbers attached to them ... holding the pole and dancing sexily around, smiling (the rare people who actually were smiling in the movie) and I suppose they were being rented or purchased or ?? and in the credits realizing that ALL of them were actually boys or men. Go to the extremes of the insane riches being poured into Dubai ... pump that oil...reap that greed and make sure you build the impossible...what you thought was mountains in some very cold region where skiiers were flying all over, you realized was INSIDE an enormous enclosure in the desert!
My favorite was some aboriginal people from I didn't know where with mud all over in their creatively coifed hair ... lots of orangey red mud ... like big thick dreadlocks ... babies shining and sleeping strapped on their backs ... large eyes of the men and women looking like brown and bloodshot watery pools staring at you and never smiling ... lips stretched way out so that they hung down to their chin bottoms and ears so stretched beyond capacity that they hung there ripped to just two flaps down to their shoulders ...
Then I think of WE ARE ALL ONE ... TEACH TOLERANCE ... LOVE ONE ANOTHER ... ONE LOVE, ONE GOD, JUSTICE FOR ALL etc etc............and the face of a CLONE twitches and blinks staring right into your own eyes ... not a robot, nor a machine ... a flesh covered human being CLONE. This Mother Earth of ours holds what seems like a megalomaniacal Intruder who throws humanity around as if it's some bizarre video game where anything goes ... ANYTHING at all... NOTHING at all ... The WHEEL OF LIFE .........................the best I can say is that I will CHOOSE WHO I AM and I will pledge to be THE ONE I AM ... and do my utmost best to not judge but try to understand ... there are over 7 billion people on Mother Earth, I believe. When I graduated from high school in 1970 there were 3.4 billion ... as I had to make a speech in front of the entire high school (and I was a shy girl then) about population control ... the POPULATION BOMB! It is here and we are us.........................HELP US! What is Humanity? Wailing walls and massive, massive!!!! processions bulging out of males prostrating themselves in Mecca seen from way up in the air down below in time lapsed fashion ... it was unbelievable! It looked like the cows going around in a giant stainless steel appearing factory ... all hooked up to milking machines squeezed as close together as they could on a huge WHEEL turn around and around slowly as the cows could not move, just be sucked dry of their milk that no doubt they were forced to produce at volumes that were impossible ... in NATURE ... but this wasn't NATURE as I knew it or as I ever wanted to know it.
BLESS THOSE GODFORSAKEN PEOPLE AND ANIMALS ... and ...........well, I am too spent to go on ... writing can be exhausting. The brain is going like a sleek train flying at the speed of insane thoughts ... the fingers can't keep up ... wanting to weave a cohesive essay here...not sure I've done that and asking your forgiveness for any assault to your own sensibilities ... I am forever in your gratitude for even bothering to read this...............LOVE ONE ANOTHER ... KINDNESS AND COMPASSION, EMPATHY ... UNDERSTANDING ... I feel like a visitor from outer space after viewing those visions! I don't want the Wheel of Life to contain 90% of those things. I always am a proponent of the word PEACE ... what does that mean to everyone? Something very different, I assume.
PEACE to you, my brothers and sisters ... my SisSTARS ... let us strive to be ourselves and know that perhaps all that is illusion and we will one day WAKE UP! and see the beauty in ourselves and in each other ... knowing that we have been kind, loving and generous ... and looked within because looking without is too damned painful.