Ah, the missing, or should I say "hiding" photo I thought went astray. I'd like to call this TIME ... beyond 4:20........
this is a bronze lamp of a woman with a large sunflower frame for the clock ... she needs polishing for sure! At the base are more sunflowers and I bought her in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan a very long time ago. There were times I could get the clock to work, but I have enough clocks. I have been thinking of turning it into a picture frame...hey! maybe of sunflowers!? But I made this my desktop background so it would be darker in here when Tuffy Boy is sleeping. He's used to us being on the computer clacking away ... when he isn't outside in this freezing weather! It saddens me that he always wants to be out there and not inside with us...no matter the weather, unless it is a massive downpour or blizzard ... but if it isn't ... he wants to be out there. He's my wild child, but I digress...
I put it on the background on Sunday night ... when Daylight Savings Time here in Michigan meant we had to "fall back" and "gained" an hour ... an imaginary hour, I feel. The body gets used to the rhythms of the "time" and you can't fake the mind and body out with some false hour we are convinced we are given, only to have it taken away next April ... who needs to 'save' the daylight? Why don't they have Moonlight Savings Time? that'd be for me!!! Lately I come home around 6 pm and it is already very dark outside. The "time" changed and I am still not used to it, though it felt nice to "feel" like I could go into work an hour later today ... but how long can you bleed that idea dry? If you get ONE hour ... surely you can't keep repeating that hour over and over ... and I love that this clock face is set at 4:27 ... beyond "4:20" that old craziness that someone somewhere made up as the "time to smoke marijuana" ... like a secret society or some password at a forbidden door. So I am going BEYOND that and returning once again to how things were as a teenager and young adult woman ... when so many said, "What are you ON?" because laughing and smiling and being kind and loving ... and did I say LAUGHING? And I heard, "Why do you laugh all the time?" and got tired of that and would reply, "I can cry for you, too, if you'd rather!" (which was and is true!) i am a drop-of-the-hat laugher and cryer and I don't do "LOL"s either ... if I need to exhibit a laugh as I'm typing a post on facebook or here, I usually have to do HAHAHA! Yes, it takes more keystrokes, but at 120 wpm who gives a crapola?
And I don't have any magical techie thing to make you see the second hand move, either ... like: "If you see this river moving, you must fwd it to 20 people in 10 minutes or your life will be damned!" Damned if I do, damned if I don't ... I'm changing that around to:
I AM BLESSED IF I DO, BLESSED IF I DON'T!!!
It just resonates with me better.
Been feeding feral kitties behind the dumpster at work for many years now ... was asked by mgmt to stop 3 times a few yrs ago so I did...for one year...until I saw kittens standing there in the cold ... then I said, to hell with the mgmt, I don't have the stamina or fortitude to try and rescue these babies, but at least I can contribute to them having some nourishment and perhaps keeping them healthy and alive in some way. I have gotten flack from friends and strangers telling me I NEED TO rescue them ... Well, you go rescue them ... I'll keep feeding and watering them ... and giving them my beloved long winter shawl for some warmth ... but today, after knowing workers were redoing the parking lot and being able to tippy toe thru the tar or asphalt on Sunday to get to their spot where I know they rely on me coming ... TODAY I cried when I realized the new paving was taken right to where they come out from under a cement wall behind the dumpster wooden walls...so that there isn't enough room at all for even a tiny kitten to crawl under ... and I had to keep shoving food under the small opening and immed saw the kitten (1 of 2) come to eat...just made me sad, but I am determined to find a way ... if anyone were to try and rescue them, it will be much more difficult now that there's no way to get to them ... and they would always squeeze under that opening and come eat their lunch or dinner and drink some water ... of course, I've also seen racoons and oppossums eating and drinking their food also which is why I don't leave too much at a time and hope they come soon to get it. That made me cry but we'll find a way ... there are other openings intermittently down the wall, just don't have the shelter that being behind the dumpster does and all out in the open. When the snow falls and they plow it against that cement wall, there are never any openings either, and I have trudged through knee deep snow often to put cans of mushy food on top of the wall where the cats would climb the trees on the other side and get up there ... and of course, so did a possum once and just stared at me with that goofy grin ... but don't know about the kittens ... they are about 5 weeks old now, I think ... the mama is black with green eyes that usually will look at me just once, like saying, "go now" or "thank you" and she has 4 white paws and short white whiskers ... I named her Bootsie but she doesn't really know that. I pray for Bootsie and her babies often and I hope you will, too.
Today I also cried, though unsure why, except for the fact that since last February, I've only been able to take the most direct route to work about 1-1/2 wks in June and today was the 1st time I could go to work in half the time, driving half the miles, as the 2nd bridge that was worked on was completed enough to open to traffic. People say there aren't any jobs ... but there's been nonstop road construction around here forever and ever! to the point where I want to scream when i see those orange and white barrels!!! There was road construction on 5-6!!! routes I'd come up with just to get 4 miles away from home! Even a few barrels just outside our parking lot! And now the lot is beautifully and newly paved ... to the detriment of "my" kitties ... but I know in my heart something good will happen for them...at least I'll get to work more directly and quicker ... hey! I can be less late than usual - tee hee (oh, yes, I do 'tee hee' also, just no LOLs since I am NOT laughing out loud, I am sitting here in quiet, only the keys rattling, clacking away, HAHA'ng to myself, or an occasional TEEHEE'g ;o) (or that dumb smiley face with a wink)
OK, this is just more posting than I've done in years, I think! My nephew Jacob Watson got me going today after I got him going on his blog again ... which i was so proud to hear. He is a damned good writer and a funny young man and a bleeding heart liberal and a kind, loving guy who is nice to know....then there was the fact that going to HIS blog made me go to MY blog which made me see some very nice comments from old friends Rhi and Dancin' who I cherish more than they'll ever know ... and then I think I've been sitting here ignoring all the shitty political automated phone calls on the answering machine to the point that I just turned the ans mach down so I couldn't hear them. Come on, people! 8-12 calls a day for the Republican party???? Don't you know that only makes me want to go vote for OBAMA even more now???
You see, I have become my old APOLITICAL self ... one of my favorite songs is by Little Feat called Apolitical Blues ... listen to it sometime as I don't know how to post it here just now ... and I did start voting AGAINST people and forced myself to become a voter ... until I became disenfranchised with it all and mistrustful ... and had decided that this election I was NOT going to vote at all! UNTIL!!! I kept receiving these goddamn calls and mail over and over by the same party, with only a few, very few, from the Democratic party. I do not affiliate myself with any party and it is sad that my votes are usually AGAINST someone more than FOR someone ... but just today I have decided I will go tomorrow mornign with my husband before I go in to work from 10am to 8 pm for 2 psychiarists @;@ <(my eyes!) to my elementary school I attended eons ago (since I am nearly 61 now! and attended this school system K-12 and on any given day can drive past all three schools I went to!!! which is in itself real freaky!) and vote for OBAMA ... the absolute best choice I could make ... I hope ... have to keep hope in my heart or I become apathetic. I remember that old saying from the '70s: "What is apathy? Ans: Who cares?" Apathy hurts me and doesn't do much for anyone else, either, but it does exist and can't deny it. So I will FORCE myself to vote ... because sometimes we just have to do what we should do and not always what we want.
Goodnight now ... husband won't be home for at least 2 more hours...but I feel I have spent some good time ignoring the dishes in the sink and the laundry in the basket by BLOGGING! Let's hope I can keep my promise and come back here again soon ... and perhaps I won't find the need to TYPE SO MUCH!!! I can't imagine who would want to read this much ... but it was cathartic writing it all. Must've been that movie SAMSARA I wrote about with fierceness...or the commentary posts by some friends 2 months ago that i just saw ... in any event, I did it ... that was my first sentence I ever spoke according to my Baby Book kept by my mother for maybe 1-1/2 years until my brother was born and it became just too much to do. My first words were: DADA, JO (?? my mom's name instead of MAMA??) and BUFF (our dog Buffer I only remember from photos) and I DID IT!
YOU DO IT, TOO!