Haven't felt much like writing lately, even though there's a myriad of thoughts doing their best to keep me awake all night, or dreaming up a storm ... a real maelstrom going on in Dreamland (I love that word "maelstrom" ... if I ever had a rock band, I'd call it that ;o) When I need to get up in the a.m. for work and have insomnia, then sometimes I take my "anxiety" medicine and it either works sorta good or too good ... and if it's too good I feel blase most the day. My feet feel like they weigh 20 lbs apiece and I trundle through the day like a big ol' robotics woman - ugh!
I came home after working today and shortly thereafter went to bed, until the cat woke me up so he could go outside. Why couldn't that furball just cozy up to me and sleep, too? No, he has to pick the rocking chair. I spent most the night in bed reading after that, to keep off my legs and feet and give my body a rest, reading the 2nd book my 95 yr old cousin wrote that I'd never gotten around to finishing years ago. His 93 yr old brother just died and it made me want to read it. This cousin is the very last one from my father's generation alive. I wonder what it feels like to be 95? I keep saying I feel "90" sometimes...I don't think that does me much good in the way of "affirmations" or "affirming" my youthful 57 yrs ;o) ... but I sure don't feel 18 or 30 or 40 or 50! And it seems like I'm feeling too old to be 57 even. Perhaps I just have the beginnings of spring fever, the Equinox coming up in less than 2 days! It's been in the 60s and the snow got all rained away and the sun has been out ... there's been activity in the pond and we have lots of robins hopping around! Tuffy wants to be outside a lot longer. It just isn't right for me to want to "hibernate" right now! I'll still blame it on daylight savings time, damn it! Or on one of my favorite shows Kyle XY's last episode Monday night, which ended like a stupid cliffhanger when they say it is the final episode. I've watched every episode for 3 seasons. Yes, the name was catchy ;o) but it was a really good show, too. I guess there just wasn't enough sex and ignorance in it for the network to continue. I signed the petition to keep it, anyway, or I hope another network signs it on.
The new calendar we chose for 2009 has "a cat a day" and it is so cute. It pretty much has a photo of a cat or 2 together stretched out for 2 days, making it quite a large calendar, but it's so cute. Have to shine a light on it so we can see it. Each cat has its name and location underneath it. And the best part, it was about $1.50 at Border's with our coupons and discounts, though $16 originally (I think).
I'm going to reprint a poem from my cousin Clive's book (my dad's 1st cousin--his dad and my father's dad were brothers, my grandfather having died 3/17/1918!!! and I wonder why I feel old?!) I don't think he'll mind because he admits himself that he likes others to read what he writes. Just let him come and get me if he doesn't like it! ;o)
The Trail That Runs Forever
As a child I used to walk the beach
And wander through the solitude
Amid the bluffs and hillsides
'Twixt Otter Creek and Empire,
Until the long trail called me.
The long trail,
The lone trail,
The trail that runs forever.
The long trail, the lone trail
That somehow always brought me
Back to my bluffs and hillsides,
To my beach and solitude,
'Twixt Otter Creek and Empire.
And round and round,
And round and round,
The long trail always caught me
And I wandered far
And I have seen
Some strange and distant places,
On the long trail,
The lone trail,
The trail that runs forever,
But that somehow always brought me
Back to the hills
And beach side,
'Twixt Otter Creek and Empire.
Till, though the long trail called me,
My journeyings grew shorter,
Till now I seldom go beyond
The reach of one days travel.
But if I couldn't
Have my Lake
My whole life would unravel!
Now, since they've made a Park here,
The fools come by the thousands,
To loll, nude, upon the beaches
Courting cataracts and cancer.
So now, while summer's with us,
The only solitude I'm finding
Is to rise and walk the beach
Rather early in the morning,
Or at night, beneath the moon.
And I hear the long trail calling,
The long trail,
The lone trail,
The trail that runs forever.
And I wish that I could wander
But the years are long behind me
And in a few I will be going
Down the long trail,
The lone trail,
The trail that runs forever.
And the fools can have the beaches
For I'll come back here never,
To seek again
My beach and bluff
And the solitude
And hillsides,
'Twixt Otter Creek and Empire.
But somewhere in another world
I'll still go on and onward.
And maybe somewhere out there,
By that trail that runs forever,
I'll find some hills and beaches
And the solitude I'm needing.
And, who knows, I may find someone
To walk the beaches with me,
And talk of things that matter,
Instead of idle chatter.
While the stars swing in their courses,
And the eons roll behind us,
On the long trail,
The lone trail,
The trail that runs forever.
--tFr/Clive W. Haswell
(tFr stands for "the frustrated rover")
Happy Spring if I don't get back here before then, my dearest Bloggie Souls.
Namaste -- Om Shanti/Shanti Om
Peace Out, SisSTARS and Bruthas!
