Old poem for my dad

Photo: Lake Michigan at dusk

(freighter in background)

***

Having just experienced a death of someone close, I was nosing into my old photos and mementos again. I always seem to do that when someone dies. I found many great photos and letters from my mom and and things I've written in the past. Well, I just ran across this poem that I wrote 3 yrs after my father died depicting actual events that kept happening to me, which I deemed as "messages" from him. We always used "XO" for "hugs and kisses" in letters and such. Another thing was when I was a little girl I thought when you died you went into the sky (heaven) and became a cloud, and I would look for my grandma and various pets who had died (and find them, too ;oD) and I'd lay out on the grass and watch the clouds float by. Even as an adult I've done this, at one time seeing an enormous man swimming across the sky, feeling it was my dad, as I was on a 2 hr drive. It was above me for half the trip. My dad used to swim a mile out into Lake Michigan every year and it reminded me of that.

Well, true fact, my father died on Good Friday so his funeral was the day before Easter and I'd promised my husband before it happened that we'd go visit his sister and her family for the holiday and I kept my promise, so other family members could have room to stay with my mom. During our drive I kept seeing so many "messages," esp those posted on church marquees: "He is not dead, he is risen," etc. and repeatedly for weeks there were airplane vapor trails of parallel lines that I kept seeing (of course, since then, learning they were probably waste matter being ejected into the upper atmosphere, which really bummed me out!) but at the time it happened so often that it felt like my father was trying to tell me that we were just parallel worlds apart, very close yet not able to intersect. He also died during a full moon (kinda like yesterday was the Full Harvest Moon). Another message I got after both my parents had died the same day 7 yrs apart was sitting in my mom's living room staring out the picture window (our room/window now) I was looking directly south at night at the stars and, whooooshhh! there was a falling star blazing diagonally across the sky and just a few seconds later, whooooshhhh! another one went in the opposite diagonal, making a gigantic "X" there in front of me...my message being, a big Kiss from my mom and dad. Now I realize you could say I was having "ideas of reference" (as the psychiatrists would call someone telling them these stories for a psych eval ;oD) or that I have a really good imagination, but, nevertheless, there were two falling stars/comets which made a giant X due south at the moment I watched.

All that having been said, the purpose of this post is to copy down this poem I just found. I usually don't like explaining my poetry, but what the heck! I am the only family member of the four of us left, so I may as well "tell the tale", and here it goes:

VAPOR TRAILS

Pink clouds, blue sky,

purple heather on the hillside,

I look up and try to see

your face.

Jet vapors leave two big X's

kisses in the sky

Reminds me of those parallels

I kept seeing--

vapor trails of parallels--

for a few days when

you died.

Dear father, we all miss you,

know you're here now and then

watching over our mother,

and me,

and your son.

We're all doing fine now,

your soul must rest easy

to see,

but someone's still missing

amongst us,

time cannot change

nor peace erase it

that's how it always will be.

So I'll keep watching for messages

as I wander my life along,

like how the moon was full when

you'd gone...

...or did you stay,

leave half yourself with us?

Our realms are just parallel

after all is said

and done.

--klh

In Memoriam

3/23/89

***

On a little side note...my father died around 3 a.m. and at the same time the next "night" my husband and myself were both still awake and mom was trying to go to sleep in my old room when all 3 of us heard 3 very distinct and loud knocks on the side door...

KNOCK...KNOCK...KNOCK

Mom came out of the bedroom, me and Jeff had been in the back room and all 3 of us came out and stared at the door and looked at each other.

Jeff went to the door and opened it and no one was there.

I said to mother, "Was that father?" and she said to me,
"Well, just remember, your father isn't quite himself right now."

I KNOW it was my father's spirit and it was an incredible and wonderful experience.

***

May you all have wondrous messages

from the Universal Soul

and live in

Peace and Joy.

With love from your

SisSTAR

xoxo

xo

X