SisSTAR Kylita

Happy New Year...or should I say February 1st?

2012-01-31T22:37:00.000-06:00

In just 40 minutes it will be February 1, 2012!! Where is the time flying to?? Oh, yes, oblivion! Well, I suppose that is why some of us love to take pictures and share them with others, to hold a moment in time in our mind's eye so that when we see something interesting...or something beautiful...we can remember it in a concrete way. I have two huge dresser drawers full of photographs I have taken over the years and a friend, before she up and moved to Tennessee, near the Smoky Mtns, gave me a beautiful photo album, because she believed in my "eye" for photography ... urged me in the past to use it in a career somehow. Just as I have been told, "You could be a writer!" or "You could be a photographer!" or a "singer", etc. etc., I feel that Yes, I AM all of those! The money may have not been flowing in, but the satisfaction of some pictures and poems and songs and such have been timeless and priceless! I miss posting new photos on my computer, but our media player thingy has been broken quite a long time ... and until we update or buy another, that is as it will be. So, ever though my husband has wanted to get me a digital camera forever, I remain in love with my old Canon T-50 35 mm ... and does well for me and love the zooms ... I will join the Future someday and get a digital and figure out how to use it and how to upload photos or download or ?? and share something NEW with my beloved blog followers or facebook friends ... would really love to be brave and share some photos of MYSELF as I am right now ... at 60 years old. That is a little scary but, hey! I see this face in the mirror everyday ... and I'm getting used to her a lot more. I love my long white hair ... like to call it platinum ;o) and I make faces at myself...my before and after ... no photoshopping here! I can look grouchy, mean, cantankerous and yet also peaceful, calm, serene, blissful and even sometimes...in just the right moment in time, lovely..........and sometimes I am taken aback at how I can look into my blue eyes and see my mother's looking back. She had snow white hair, also, but she kept hers very short and always wanted me to, also. But I'm rebellious! I've let it grow ... even though driving in the car on a very cold winter day, with very dry air and static electricity, the whole lot of it will poof up into my face like 1,000 antennae feeling for every pore ... and I'm cursing it and trying to get it to stop being unruly ... and it just keeps flying up in my face like 1,000 granddaddy longleg spiders ... (not a fun thought, actually) ... but ... my eyes ... mom used to tell me I had "bedroom eyes" and I always took that to mean something dirty or bad ... now I have bags under my eyes from not enough sleep ... or too much stress. But the blue is still pretty clear and they see not only outside myself, but they also trust my Third Eye (and I have no color what that is...unless it is pale violet) and I see marvelous things............lovely things that I've worked hard for ... like peace and joy, love and happiness ... understanding and tolerance for others ... the utmost love and respect for sentient beings, and I hold in my heart all of you out there who are reading my words ... with this prayer/poem/affirmation, whatever you want to call it.......I've shared it before, but what comes round goes round as they say, so this is dedicated to all of you, and all the animals and birds and creatures in the sea ... Mother Earth and the Multiverses and anything or anyone at all that needs a lift up, a leg up, some upliftment today...or the days, months, years after you might be reading this...and here it goes, my SisSTARS and Brothers:

May you be held in deepest Compassion

May all your Suffering and Pain find Ease

May you be at Peace

and Live in Joy...

...Compassion

and Ease

and Joy

and Peace...

ALWAYS!

WITH LOVE,

FROM

YOUR SisSTAR

XOXOXO

XOXO

Last Day of November!?

2011-11-30T21:50:00.000-06:00

Wow! I can't believe how time flies ~~ ~~ (time flying ;oD) ... Yes, I have been lost in facebook-land and finding that I've gotten my feelings hurt there, which no one really knows about nor would care, I do believe. I won't go into the boring details but for some reason I up and "unfriended" 20 people about 10 days ago. I miss some of them, yet most of the ones were people I rarely heard anything from, some absolutely NOTHING ... and others were friends of a friend whose friend hurt my feelings (or, I should say, I allowed! my feelings to be hurt?!) so I just said heck with it ... I did keep a few people from that "tribe" as we'd called ourselves, as they've been so very kind and loving ... I would get angry when people would talk about facebook as "fakebook" and that the friends weren't real but imaginary. I'd defend that and say that this group of people were like minded for me and spiritually centered ... and yet funny and a little bit risque even! But, alas, it is what it is .... I never would have known them if I hadn't been on facebook.......which has taken me away from talking to friends on the phone, too busy to do the dishes, too enthralled to write letters (which I truly love to do!), too "curious" to read the many volumes of books I always loved to read ... in other words, I do believe I've been addicted to facebook. I'm thinking of shit-canning it altogether, leaving it intact and putting it on the back burner to see if I can come up with enough of a life which isn't lived in e-virtual-ness enough to actually have a friend over, or visit one, or write to one or talk to one! There's a lot of talk about what "we" could, would, want to, will do on there, but most live tons of miles away .... I can barely get a peep out of people I actually DO know or family members! So those virtual strangers I'd met have been a big part of my life the past 6 months or more ... which is a lot of time when it is intensified.......but to feel excluded, shunned, "restricted" is to go smack back to elementary school when I was so painfully shy and would try to go up to a little group of girls on the playground and hang around them, inevitably one or more would annoyingly look at me and say, "What do YOU want, NOSEY!" That's exactly what it felt like ... just not being good enough or ??? enough to fit in with someone who really should mean nothing to me at all!? Go figure!

I was so thrilled just now when I bopped on here and saw a favorite bloggie Soul post a comment to my last entry! Just yesterday she wrote to me! How exciting! and another one posted a comment I haven't responded to yet but I sooooo appreciated his acknowledgment of my little goofy story and how he and his wife could relate about buying very expensive frameless glasses that I am paranoid I'll scratch or break ... and have to be soooo careful cleaning them!
There is a certain instant gratification with facebook that I don't get here because a lot of my ol' blogger buddies don't seem to be posting either. We all go through different phases ... like the moon, which tonight, by the way, looked like that big Cheshire Cat grin which I love to see up in the dark black sky!!! I see it at the most opportune moments when I'm feeling low or sad.....without realizing it's up there, I'll often catch a glimpse of it and it ALWAYS makes me smile and even laugh out loud ... from the little fingernail crescent to the big grin just before the half moon.....I do like simple pleasures and I do love communicating with others, and how wonderful when those others can be like minded........or at least tolerant of other points of views without judgment.
Perhaps letting facebook sit awhile to stew in its juices (and oh, there's so MUCH of those on there! a veritable hodgepodge of just ANYTHING instantly!) .... perhaps that would allow me to keep up my good work with my new vegetarian eating style ... a healthier regimen of walking ... getting that hula hoop I've wanted for several years now! Afterall, sitting in front of the computer at work, or on the phone at work ... then come home and jump on the computer to stare at facebook after a very quick scan of my regular emails ... well, let's just say "secretarial spread" is a big problem of the keester! Oh, and speaking of keesters!!! My "new-to-me" 2007 Saturn Aura is equipped with butt warmer seats! They are coming in pretty darned handy in this very cold weather we are having. Last night was the first snow that actually stayed on the ground. But then it was bright and sunshiny all day as opposed to yesterday's gloomiest, rainiest day ever ... 2-1/2" and then turned to snow overnight @;@ But what do I expect for Nov. 30th!?
Today is my nephew's 29th birthday. I miss him. I haven't seen him since May of 2007 when we told him he couldn't live here any more. I guess he showed us, eh? Never one communication from him since ... and he even had a little boy and never told us. Well, I'm kind of used to being that SisSTAR of the C.O.D.E., that Childless...Orphaned...Daughter...of Enlightenment. It isn't always enlightening to realize your family doesn't care enough about you to contact you for years on end, or that your family equals 2 humans and a cat ^;^ but that's the way it is. It's a good family, though, even though Cat scratched the crap out of my hand yesterday! He was ticked off because it was pouring rain and his shelters we made for him outside were all wet and soggy with no chance to replace them yet ... and he hates to stay inside too much, even with a foot of snow! So he was a big grouch and I was massaging his little toes - WRONG!! He teased me by spreading his paw so I could give him Mama's famous "kitty massage" and "little toes" massage when he struck quick and hard and I have 8 claw marks on my right hand to prove it. I like to call it my vaccination from him ... as I used to be allergic to cats but don't seem so much with him...........unless I am just deluded because I love him so much............and he bites the hand that feeds him! ............well, that's it for another day, Bloggie Souls! I'd love to hear from you!! I hope the new year will be a new time to reconnect and elevate our consciousnesses to greater degrees...........with Love, Truth, Justice, Compassion, Tolerance, Kindness...and did I say LOVE?
with Love.........from your SisSTAR XOXOXOXOXO

Happy Sunday!

2011-10-16T12:48:00.000-05:00

Since I logged in to post a comment on good bloggie friend Muhd's great post about new kitties showing up at their front door, I may as well say "hello" to my good ol' blog! I'm sorry I've been neglecting you, Dear Blog. I've met the most wonderful people while on here and I won't forget them ... even if seemingly neglecting my "duties" here to write and rambling on about just any little thing at all. Yes, Facebook has got me! There's a community of "newer" facebookies (as I love to call them) that are hanging in there with RaeBird and her mother as her mother is close to transitioning beyond this Dimension ... she stated that we were all like their hospice, and what a humbling honor it is to feel a part of giving comfort to her in any way...............and I am still keeping in good touch with Dancin' Fool (Natalie, you sweetie!) over in the UK ... stole some Frank Zappa tunes off her yesterday which immediately RaeBird said she loved, and that made me happy.

Yesterday it was like Feast Day for me and Jeff......after doing our banking we went to Simply Zaa! Pizza for theri $5 all-you-can-eat pizza and salad bar buffet and I had 2 great bowls of salad fit for a REAL vegetarian and found even TWO great veggie pizzas (well, except in Vegan-land, the cheese was a no-no but I'm getting there) ... there was the Popeye spinach pizza and the wonderful tomato slices with an array of herbs ... all was delicious and Jeff got to watch the MSU-UM game (MSU won!!! yay! for Jeff) ... then we hung out around home (on the computer etc etc) and spent time with Tuffy Boy and went "looking" at Sally's (Salv Army) and, in an unusual twist of fate, I found nothing. I found that to be wonderful, actually, having just gotten rid of about 30!!! (yes!) bags of STUFF for the Vietnam Vets to come and pick up ... I am not real keen on adding to the new slimmed-down pile of STUFF .......and feel much more discerning, for now anyway. Then we went to the unwelcome chore of grocery shopping at Hollywood Mkt! It turned out we had a ball getting all kinds of tasty and healthy stuff ... we were nearly out of everything so it was a whopper $$ ... and then we no sooner got it hauled in and put away but our good bud Gary showed up for us all to go up to the corner Thai Restaurant (Pud Thai & Sushi) and I enjoyed 2 new dishes: their Apple Salad and Vegetable Tempure...YUM! It was great, as was the miso soup. We came home and indulged in dessert then watched some Tiger baseball (sniff! sorry, but they lost the play-offs but they gave it a hell of a good shot!) Jeff is at this moment watching our Detroit Lions playing ... the best season they've had in like aeons! I got up between 5:30 and 9 am then decided to go back to bed and "read" awhile ... and finally got back up at 11 am. Still in my bathrobe at 1:45 pm!!! It's a lazy-ass day for me so far..........I have laundry to do and it would PROBABLY be a great idea if we ate at HOME today, don't you think?? 2 restaurants in 1 day! How totally hedonistic of us! Let's just say we munched into the groceries big time ... and I was in a carbo-coma when the baseball game was going on. When they basically lost in the 3rd inning, the mood had a downturn in the house of some disappointment ... and Gary went home an hour early as he had to get up early to work this morning. I think Jeff spent more time on the computer ... dreaming of some NEW computer he wants "on his wish list". You see our Windows Media Player will NOT work any more, no matter what, even deleting it and reinstalling a new one ... something messed it up a long time ago and he can't play games, we can't play music or I can't download any photos ... and that's just shitty! So one of these days ... "Santa Claus" is always a good reason - haha! though we don't believe in Santa any more or even Christmas ... but it WILL BE my 60th!!!!!!! birthday and our 26th anniversary right around then, so perhaps a new computer is on the horizon. I want a 2nd pair of eyeglasses for my birthday.........I love my new pair and my new sunglasses, they were so expensive. I want a 2nd pair just to feel really RICH! and to give me some sort of variety of eyeball dressing! Maybe I'll get cat's eye rhinestone encrusted corner thingies!? Something that's fun! We both got "frameless" glasses this time and we love them, but we're so very careful with them ... no cleaning with a Kleenex or a shirt sleeve ... nope! only the special cleaning cloths provided. I lived thru years of seeing through a bunch of scratches and nosepieces gone, long hence having fallen off! (Ouch!) and green funk being left on face in front of my ears where the bows dug into my skin and funkified it! For years!!! So I would like an extra pair ... a true luxury! But, hey! 60!!!!! SIXTY???? Yes! in 2-1/2 months! AHHHHHHHH! OK, I just gotta sign off with that one........it's too scary! @;@ Love from your SisSTAR xoxo

What's in a name?

2011-09-24T18:44:00.000-05:00

I just want to say a few things about how I've been longsuffering about being called Kyle. I may have mentioned that my mother always told me I was named after a "pretty young singer on the Arthur Godfrey Show" and since I was born 1951, I don't remember her. I told that story to many of the people who asked me my entire life, "Did they want a boy?" "Were you named after your father?" etc etc. NO!!! Named after Kyle McDonnell (I think that's how she spelled it) and just last year, I believe, I found her by accident on LOOK or LIFE magazine archives and yes, she was pretty and anyone would be pleased to be named after her ... I bet she had quite the time of it being named that in the 30s or 40s!!! When I was just going into junior high (now called middle school...7th grade, anyway) I was assigned to boys' gym class and shop class and very embarrassingly had to go and sign out! of these classes. If only I knew then what I know NOW!! I would have just insisted they let me remain in the classes, that'd show those dingbats!! But I was always and forever teased about having a "boy's name" ... and even my middle name is Lynn which can be a male name, too. Then I like to tell the story about, "Well, my father's and brother's names were Dana Meredith and my mother's name was Jo" HA HA!! They look at me like @;@ .... but it's a great story. I'm tired of telling it, though. Call us androgenous, call us weird ... Hey! on my father's side of 8 boys and 1 girl, there were males named Max Vivien, Francis Leroy, Dana Meredith...I guess those were the andro names ... the only sister was reduced to Dot ... Dorothy Lee.... I have cousins named Mary Lee and Larry Lee, middle names after their father. My dad told me he was also offered entrance into some girls' college in Bennington, Vermont, so it started long ago, as he was born in 1905. I remember being mortified when I was in 6th grade and we had to write letters to the President (who was then JFK) and I was sent a big envelope addressed to MR. KYLE HASWELL!!!!! I was ticked! I tried to erase the "Mr" and put a "Miss" in it but it only blotched up the thing and looked worse. I still to this day get mail addressed to "Mr." and those come-on ads for credit cards or anything else get shredded with gusto! Don't ask me why this still bothers me after all these years, but it just does. I did NOT ask to be named Kyle Lynn!!! When I was a young kid I was very embarrassed by my name and wanted to call myself Lynne ... I thought that looked feminine. Once by some Freudian error I wrote, "My brother was the only girl and I was the only boy" in some journaling I was doing!!!!! I was doing it to myself, even!!! GEEZ! But the reason for this ranting post is that yesterday after work I went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription and I've gone there quite a long time now ... just before she was ringing it up, she said, "I need his birthdate"!! I had a hard day!! a very hard day working for two psychiatrists' offices where everyone is seemingly more needy now that Autumn has hit or school has started or the weather is getting chilly or summer has ended or ??? who knows? But I could hear the crack in my voice when I replied, "THAT would be ME! That's ME! I am Kyle and my birthdate is 12-28-51!" She never even said a word, just, "of course". OF COURSE??? WTF??? What about an, "Oh, I'm sorry!" LIKE I asked my mother to give me a purported boy's name so I could just fuck with people lifelong! I have girlfriends and girl relatives named Jimi Lee, Georgie, Jeremy, Lynn, Rae .... Once my husband, Jeff, and I got some scathing voicemail message from some weirdo with all sorts of obnoxious sexual innuendos, or rather blatant accusations ... I do believe they thought the "You have reached Kyle and Jeff" was some sort of gay couple (AND WHAT IF IT WAS!?) and it took quite awhile for me to figure out what in hell was the guy talking about??? Didn't have a clue who it was! Random calling gay-sniffers, I guess?? Another reason why I finally managed to get on here was that we went to Barnes & Noble today and in the used book section was "The Perfect Name" baby-naming book ... of which I have looked my name up in numerous ones of those all my life. There was "Kyla", with various derivatives like Kylie, Kyra, Kyren, Kylen, Kylwhatthefucken! NOT ONE PLAIN OL' "Kyle"!!!!! But, of course, in the boy's section: KYLE, Gaelic, Irish; a strait or narrow crossing ................ yes, tread lightly through this NARROW path of tolerance that is wearing thin of nearly always having to explain why I am named Kyle! Strangers will say: WHAT is your name??? What??? Maybe I should just make up some name.......come to think of it, I have a cousin whose name was Patricia, called Pat, and she decided her name was going to be Claire. So...anyone out there want to pick out a name for me? I actually DO love my name now, but I have to talk to enough people Monday-Friday without having to explain it to one more darned person!!! Cease and desist, people! If my name was Cuckamunga Laroughe, I wonder what anyone would say? Hey! I also heard that my mom was thinking of naming me after my grandmother on my dad's side ... Margaret Lola...but everyone called her Maggie (a name I really do love) and mom didn't want me to be called Maggie. I think it would've been simply divine if she would've named me Kyle Lola ... just say it a few times, doesn't it have a certain zing to it? KyleLola! I could run it together and pretend I was from Hawaii!! My mother's mother was named, true fact!! Pansy Blossom! What did that poor sweetheart have to go through!? Probably not half of what I've gone through. Anyone else out there have a difficult time with their given names??? Please ... let me know so I don't feel so alone. My mom, dad and brother have all died and I've no one to share this androgenous-ness with ... oh, yeah, there's Jimi Lee and Georgie, but we don't speak to each other .... where is the love, peoples??? Where is the tolerance? My name isn't Bob or John or Ron or Jeff! Of course you can add an "ie" or a "y" to about any name and make it cutesy. So...........you folks cut me some slack, OK? On facebook I put my name as KyleLynn ... not even thinking it'd sound more girlish ... but it seems to have worked. KyleLynn it is! VOILA!
Happy trails, Bloggie Souls! Sending you the highest and best from your SisSTAR! XOXOXOXO

LUCK Compilation 2010 || Best Luck of the Year || FUNNY || HD

2011-08-21T12:14:00.000-05:00

Remembering Mandy Girl

2011-08-20T11:16:00.000-05:00

Hi there, Bloggie Souls! I have missed you so much! It has been such a blessing revisiting some of my faves listed at the bottom of my profile! Hi Holly, Hi Rhi, Hi Dancin', Hi Linn!!! Wish I would've "followed" more as I lost my "favorites" on the computer when switching browsers, didn't import when I'd thought they had. Waah!

Yes...Missing Mandy Girl...she's been dead 5 yrs now, shortly after my brother and cousin ... glad it is 5 yrs behind me, but it still threw me for a downturn the past while, coming out on the other side with good thoughts and pride in myself for having my "good grief" no matter what anyone else thought about my obsessiveness with thoughts of

DEATH! ;oD

I posted a few swiped photos from email fwds (don't you LOVE the "Laughin' Ass!" and that crazy pair of Dog/Orangutan! I posted that on my husband's facebook to give him a laugh when he woke up today. Yes, I've been on facebook WAAYYYY too much, but it's fun to get occasional instant return on small investments of posts and I just plain love bugging people! I am not a "friend hog" as I've rounded the corner to about 30, I guess...and 4 or 5 of those was the past week when I've gotten braver and more bolden and brass and accepted "strangers" into my circle. Some say it was because of my "humor" seen on their friends' posts from me. HUMOR? Moi? YA MON!

(I started a "Ya Mon!" comment which blazed a few tiny trails on fb pages, which was fun as it's a great comment for just about any post! It came about while viewing a fb friend in Florida's "night flight" on his bike and taking photos of various establishments and scenarios. One place just reminded me of Jamaican type stuff so the dreadlocks sprouted out of my pink head/white hairness and the urge to post YA MON! hit me. I think I've posted 100s now ... I try being a nuisance whenever it works ;oD

Well, me 'n Jeffrey just had freshly ground morning coffee with a Deep Intense dark chocolate Ghiardelli melted in the bottom and a dark chocolate Nonni Biscotti dunker(s)! Do you believe he was able to grind those beans forever and this SisSTAR was too busy in Dreamland to even hear him!??? And I am a very light sleeper! (except when I'm dreaming ... I probably incorporated the sound into those technicolor, way-too-busy scenes where I feel like I'm in a half dozen or so movies every night and esp early in the morning just before I wake up with a JOLT! and think, Wake Up, Kyle! Get up and get into Reality! Sometimes it's just exhausting to sleep ^;^

That's the problem with me blogging...the fingers don't know when to stop and I'm never quite sure if the brain is fully engaged @;@ One thing is for sure ... my regular wpm speed is 120 and give me this coffee extraordinaire and, well, I'm wide-awake buzzed on dark chocolate and coffee...and I rarely drink coffee or colas any more ... I get high sniffing Snapple tea! Truly I do! Let's just say I stayed up until 4 a.m. when I discovered that I still had Little Fish Tail blog and even realized that Second Edition (Holly, darling..) had commented 6 wks ago on a post of my own! Wowie! That was good for another hour until I realized if I was gonna share morning coffee treat with my Honey, I'd better get my ass to bed! Now I better get my bunnies offa here and get with the program. 1st x in quite awhile Jeff nor I have to work on a Saturday morning! Yeah!!! Fun things planned this weekend ... making it lazy and exhilarating all the same...and we are taking his sister, Linda, to Ruby Tuesday's tomorrow ... just found out she may very well be moving to Georgia by Labor Day! She lives about 10-12 miles away and we never visit each other! How dumb! We truly don't seem to miss people....

.....until they

are

GONE

...and so I'm missing Mandy Girl ... I put a really awesome lead crystal candlestick on her grave with a tan and white marble orb on top of it and when the Sun hits it it'll smack me right in the face and eyeballs from the kitchen window! BEAM!!!!

Love you, Mandy Girl!

xoxoxoxoxo

Love you Facebookies...so much!

XOXOXO

from your

SisSTAR

Where has the time gone!?

2011-08-04T21:02:00.000-05:00

Hello from your SisSTAR!!

Seems as though this summer is flying by and the heat has been tremendous, even for us Michigan folk! Yes, I hear that Texas has ben over 100 degrees for about a month?? Way over in some cases. I feel for ya there, peoples!! But this is Michigan and hitting 100 last one day so far. But it has been in the 90s for way too long to suit me. I am a winter baby and I can truthfully say that I don't mind winter, you can pile on clothing and bundle up in blankets, even IF we put our thermostat at 60 degrees! But in the summertime you can go buck naked and (OK, I'll speak for myself only here) and you can still sweat buckets. It always pours out of my head like a fountain (Fountainhead?) and falls in my eyes and funky-fies up my new glasses @;@ ... and I'm trying to be so very careful with them. At nearly $500 I don't want any scratches or ill-fitting going on. I spent a good 7-8 yrs with the same pair that was lopsided, scratched so bad, and the nosepieces had fallen off, metal cutting into my nose - ouch! and even though my wonderful husband had new bows put on for me, the crappy "faux metal" on the sides disintegrated quickly, making funky greenish marks on the sides of my head from the oxidation. It was a great look, let me tell ya!

Oh, by the way! The photo above is my new car! After 17 yrs but merely 101,500 miles! we had to give up on my 1994 T-Bird. Called the Vietnam Veterans of Michigan and they came and got it the next day. They were impressed by it, though. New tires...full tank of gas...air conditioning still worked, and they figured they could probably get $1,000 for it to help someone out along the way. That made me feel a lot better. Plus we were given a $1,700+ income tax deduction for next year's taxes. I never had a car for 17 years. It had 3 miles on it when we got it. The new one is a Saturn Aura XR 2007 with under 38,000. It is midnight blue with black leather interior (ouch in the sunshine!) with a "moon roof". In fact, mostly all I've been able to do is drive to and from work in bumper to bumper road construction traffic with hardly enough time to listen to one song on the CD player. So last night after leaving work and a friend's house, I was hearing a particularly wonderful new CD my husband bought by Warren Haynes (google him, he's awesome!) and the blues he was singing and playing was so wonderful that I just drove right past our road and kept on going ... 50 mph on the straight-away ... not sure how many miles I drove, but I just kept going and going and turning left and left and left and circling around and then going down neighborhood roads, like I was showing Aura Lee the neighborhood (it's taken me awhile to 'like' her since I was so in love with Birdie and didn't want to give her up) ... The sky was just after sunset and was filled with stormy grey/blue and pink clouds which looked awesome out the moon roof. I just kept singing and driving ... and finally went home happy.

I have been on a crash course of seeing old friends and talking to old friends on the phone and this past week just since Sunday have or talked to 9 people including their little dogs and cats (who all loved me, too) You see, normally I'm quite a hermitess soon as I get out of work and I want nothing more than to come home and be quiet and have some dinner and wait for my honey who gets home quite late. More often than not I get on Facebook and spent waaayyyyy too much time on there, which explains why I have hardly posted on my blog for months! (I'm sorry, Bloggies ... I've missed you a lot! It just seems easier with lots more interaction with others on Facebook...but this Blog is a lot more me ... private except for those who might stop by. Probably most will stop stopping by since I'm rarely posting anything new. I keep telling myself "I'm gonna write on my blog" and then....whap! back to Facebook 2-3 times a day sometimes! I have, however, reconnected with some old friends from waaayyyy back in school days and some family members I'd lost touch with, so it has been rewarding.)

Well, I do sincerely hope to rekindle with some of my favorite bloggers, ie Rhiannon, Dancin' Fool, Imran and Sandpiper ... and maybe even meet some new folks. I have a small follow(s) bunch on here but not that they've posted comments. That's OK, though. If anything resonates with you, happy to know it, if not, happy you at least came by once to see what you can see.

Here's hoping all of you Bloggie Souls are having a safe and beautiful summer and that for you, wherever you are, Summertime...and the living is easy...fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high. Your Mama's rich and your Daddy's good lookin', so hush! little Babies, don't you cry!

Keep Cool ... Live in Love and Compassion for others ... and know that

Your SisSTAR Loves You!!!

XOXOXOXO

XOXOXO

XOXO

From OSHO on WORTH

2011-08-04T20:40:00.000-05:00

Meditation for the Day

from OSHO's Transformation Tarot

10. Worth
---------------------------------------
On the virtues of uselessness

Don't be bothered too much about utilitarian ends. Rather, constantly remember that you are not here in life to become a commodity. You are not here to become a utility--that is below dignity. You are not here just to become more and more efficient--you are here to become more and more alive; you are here to become more and more intelligent; you are here to become more and more happy, ecstatically happy.

Lao Tzu was traveling with his disciples and they came to a forest where hundreds of carpenters were cutting trees, because a great palace was being built.

Almost the whole forest had been cut, but one tree was standing there, a big tree with thousands of branches--so big that ten thousand persons could sit under its shade. Lao Tzu asked his disciples to go and inquire why this tree had not been cut yet, when the whole forest had been cut and was deserted.
The disciples went and they asked the carpenters, "Why have you not cut this tree?"
The carpenters said, "This tree is absolutely useless. You cannot make anything out of it because every branch has so many knots in it. Nothing is straight. You cannot make pillars out of it, you cannot make furniture out of it. You cannot use it as fuel because the smoke is so dangerous to the eyes--you almost go blind. This tree is absolutely useless. That's why."
They came back. Lao Tzu laughed and he said, "Be like this tree. If you want to survive in this world be like this tree--absolutely useless. Then nobody will harm you. If you are straight you will be cut, you will become furniture in somebody's house. If you are beautiful you will be sold in the market, you will become a commodity. Be like this tree, absolutely useless. Then nobody can harm you. And you will grow big and vast, and thousands of people can find shade under you."
Lao Tzu has a logic altogether different from your mind. He says: Be the last. Move in the world as if you are not. Remain unknown. Don't try to be the first, don't be competitive, don't try to prove your worth. There is no need. Remain useless and enjoy.
Of course he is impractical. But if you understand him you will find that he is the most practical on a deeper layer, in the depth--because life is to enjoy and celebrate, life is not to become a utility. Life is more like poetry than like a commodity in the market; it should be like poetry, a song, a dance.
Lao Tzu says: If you try to be very clever, if you try to be very useful, you will be used. If you try to be very practical, somewhere or other you will be harnessed, because the world cannot leave the practical man alone. Lao Tzu says: Drop all these ideas. If you want to be a poem, an ecstasy, then forget about utility. Remain true to yourself.
Copyright © 2011 Osho International Foundation

Rainy but good holiday weekend

2011-05-29T01:22:00.000-05:00

Peace from your

***SisSTAR***

xoxo

My Giving Tree

2011-05-04T21:14:00.000-05:00

McIntosh Apple Tree

soon to be climbed

by me

Whee!

klh

Springtime

2011-05-04T21:10:00.000-05:00

I've been missing you, Bloggies. I'm not sure any one of you who I have grown so fond of over the last several years will ever return here in synch with my own lack of posting, probably since I got on facebook again. It's a whole different ballgame but it's not real conducive to me wanting to just sit down and where...whatever comes. If I try and plan a post, it doesn't seem to work out very well. I have not been happy with trying to find a new design for my blog nor can I seem to get it back to the way it used to be ... such is life, eh? (c'est la vie, oui?--I love saying that ;oD)

Today was not even 60 degrees. But the sun was out in all its glory and it makes such a difference in our moods, doesn't it? There were times in the past when springtime seemed bleak to me, after my folks died, for instance, at the end of March '86 and '93. Just then the newness of the greenery all around me and the flowers blooming weren't interesting to me, I only felt the cold and dark. It has been a long time since I felt that way, but I remember it ... perhaps it is because this spring has been the harshest in its coldness and rain ... snowed really late (and hoping for no snow in May--something I do NOT remember, but hey, it is Michigan!) It's been gloomy and cloudy and tornado-y and did I say gloomy?

Well, the sun came out and the flowers are blooming and the grass is so high most birds and even the mallards that bitched and moaned in the yard today were practically totally covered in grass. There were 3 males and 1 female ... she was bitching the most so I think I know what was going on there, eh? I also saw two rabbits flying around the neighborhood, one chasing the other really fast and far ... made me glad Tuffy Boy was sleeping in the garage! I can only imagine what was going on with the bunnies, eh?? ;oD

I also look down in the property of just under 2 acres of wildness mostly and see so many, many very tall trees fallen over like pick-up-stix ... right in the biggest growth of wild roses, our fortress against hoodlums who like to machete their way through the "woods". One thing I can say, though, is that those wild roses are a constant ... like the grapevines and cedars ... the lilies and irises in the garden pond, and those wild roses have the most heavenly smell when they are in their short-term bloom. And I can't tell you enough how gaw-jus and heady the scents are when I sit in my McIntosh apple tree dad planted when I was a kid ... and the pear trees and golden delicious. The orioles and tanagers get up in them and sing so melodiously and eat the blossoms and nectar ... and if I'm blessed enough, I will get even one opportunity to hide in that tree with the huge canopy and those birds will not know I'm there, but I will call out to them from learning their whistles and know a certain peace that is hard to come by in the winter ... and this winter has lasted too long ... and I welcome wholeheartedly this most precious of springtimes when there is possibility everywhere, even if it takes lots of hard work and doesn't come for free, it is a time when we are all witnesses to Life ... on this, our Home, our Mother Earth.

Highest and best blessings to you, my Bloggies ... I miss you and hope to hear from you soon and read your posts. You are important to me!

Much love,

Your SisSTAR

xoxo

Catnapping

2011-04-06T10:54:00.000-05:00

Tuffy found a new hiding place. Three times now I have found him in the utility room cupboards with his clean kitty beds (blankets, towels, etc) behind the tan lace curtain. I searched the first time in and outside everywhere I could think. I was stymied. Then I peeked in between the curtains and he'd been watching and listening to me all along and hoping he could catch a break--have a place to himself where no one could find him. I left him alone each 3 times now.

Today really got me, though, as he was napping in the old rocker and I decided to lie down with my bed pillow and blanket on the sofa to read "Lost Civilization of Lemuria" when my lids kept getting heavy. I tossed the book down and nodded to dream right away. I heard, "REOWWWW!" and then again! and he wanted me to wake up and let him out. I grumbled and did so. Off again to sleep and dream in the living room. It was gloomy out and I had a rare Monday off.

Ahhhhhh, sweet nap time! Cats got it goin' on!

"REOWWWWWWW!"

Man! jarred back to wakefulness, not knowing where I'd just been off to in the dreamworld, there was Tuffy sitting on the 40 gal critter food storage bin looking in the window wanting in. I was getting ticked. The "naps" were lasting about 5 minute intervals and my mind was getting short circuited. I opened the door and he wouldn't come in. Then he did. It has to be his move. @;@

He jumped up on his grooming table mostly used on "old matted" for feeding and spying on the neighborhood--cars, people, dogs, other cats, esp birds and squirrels. Or he watches the sun come up signifying another time to gouge "Mama's" bedroom door and scream to go out. He munched, and off I hodded again. He started in with the caterwaulin' again and I said, "NOT RIGHT NOW!" Those are MY words for "NO!" which he will rip me a new a-hole if I say that one when he refuses to be told no! He screamed and jumped on my feet and I tho't, "oh, sleep with Mama--take a little nap." He sat on the wooded end of the sofa on top of all the bills I'd paid and cards and notes I'd written to friends to go in tomorrow's mail. I tho't--"man! don't put your nasty cat-ass on my mail!" so I flung my blanket off--taking 3-4 good flings to unravel how it was binding me like a cocoon each time I flung it. I stomped over and opened the door and he went out. I made a big show of closing the drapes with the pull cord so he'd know NOT to be looking in on me when I resumed my longed-for nap again. I laid down again. All I could hear was my own pounding heartbeat and my wheezing lungs--and for an ultralight sleeper/napper, those are huge noises and aggravating--and I probably was getting all anxious from the exercise I received of getting up and down to let Tuf out and dreaming a few hours' worth in 2-3 five minute intervals. All is real quiet now as I write about this. I thought I heard some faint noises...not sure. I keep writing intently and I hear, nearly a decibel not audible to a human ... "meow" and it's dark in here, the sun having gone down and me not turning on any lights yet. Now I hear cat claws scratching frantically on his cardboard scratchy board--so I close this now because I have to let the cat out. I think I'll put earplugs in and crawl into the cupboard in the utility room behind the lace curtain... and dream. Again "meow" yes! I hear ya. I'm coming.

Addendum:

Damn! There was a black cat in the driveway probably drinking from a mud puddle and Tuf ran right at him/her, both tore off across the street and under the neighbor's big white truck. Shit! Why did I ever think I could take a nap!?

I closed the door and hope for the best.

Why didn't I name him Puff?

-klh 4/4/11, 8:08 pm-

Delving into memories of some dolls

2011-03-02T20:20:00.000-06:00

As I looked inward for relief from this world, I happened upon some memories of various dolls I've had, all the way back to age 2 and up. Here is what I came up with:

TINY TEARS - her head was ripped off to look for "dope" by my mother during a psychotic break. Father "repaired" the doll for me as well as taping up cracks in her legs and her fingers were chewed ... eyelashes missing and eyes closed kind of funny ... She was my BABY!

BETTY LOU - big baby doll I had very young who probably had a porcelain or bisque head and she was broken with pieces missing from her head from my brother dropping her. She went to "Doll Heaven," I was told ... which in an awesome and memorable moment of "snooping" in the utility room cupboards, climbing up to the top cupboards, I discovered "Doll Heaven" was up there with broken Betty Lou. AH HAH moment.

FORGOTTEN NAME - given a doll that was quite large with a blue little girl dress with ribbons and lovely blonde hair which I immedately wanted to "do" her hair and washed it and it turned into a straw pile resembling a cyclone. Gave up idea of becoming beautician.

DIAMONDS - Before the police took my mom away ... to jail then to a psych ward ... I was 5 years old and just started kindergarten ... the police allowed my mom her wish to go up to the "Little Store" and buy me a doll and my brother guns in holsters ... then "adios."
That doll was very tall with a beautiful blue long ball gown all sparkly with high heels and pearl and diamond earrings and necklace. Her hair was brown and curly and short. She made me feel creepy and sad but I felt sorry for her, her job to replace my mom and cheer up.

BRIDE DOLL - mom's friend Gladys gave me a beautiful small bride doll with a white gown and veil and glamorous hair and face. I think her hair was strawberry blonde. She just sat there. Being a bride didn't seem feasible much. Thankless job.

There were small little jointed dolls with handmade clothes from my Aunt Dorothy. The hair was long and wavy and you could put it in a ponytail. The clothes were very sweet, esp that she made them. Aunt Dorothy was special. She didn't know it, though.

I would sew clothes for my Tiny Tears with my hand crank plastic toy sewing machine. A little rough but I was still proud. I sold my sewing machine in elementary school 3rd or 4th grade for 50 cents to Ellen. Mom and dad were not happy. I felt rich.

Never having any Barbie dolls when young or a teenager -- I played with other friends' Barbies -- I bought myself an expensive reproduction porcelain replica of "Solo in the Spotlight" nightclub singer Barbie with a microphone, strapless black dress, glamorous undergarments and high heels, pearl necklace and earrings. That very expensive Barbie stood on many of my shelves holding her pink scarf with black long-gloved hands in various poses as she sang torch songs in Barbie-land -- until my newer Topsy Turvy doll from Mackinac Island fell over on her, breaking her arm and leg.

***
I truly believe that I chose not to have children due to the devastating beheading of my "baby" Tiny Tears that I had been the mother to for several years where I cared greatly for her, washing her little lambswool hair, giving her a bottle and miraculously changing her diapers when she peed and wiping the tears from her eyes. I'd carry her everywhere with me and dress her and make clothes for her and especially LOVE her. I was 4 or 5 when the horrible act happened ... by someone I loved more than anyone. Please parents, be careful what you do to your children or their belongings. I understood years later why it happened, but the child in me, and the inner child in me, only knew that my baby child was killed by my mother.

...from your SisSTAR xo

My New Song

2011-02-11T23:38:00.002-06:00

May you be held in deepest compassion
May your suffering and pain find ease
May you be at peace
May you live in joy... Compassion and Ease, Joy and Peace...Always.
May I be held in deepest compassion
May my suffering and pain find ease...always
May I be at peace
May I live in joy ... Compassion, Ease and Joy and Peace...Always.

Holding you in my heart and wishing you all a Loving Valentine's Day, and don't forget to Love Yourselves!

I saw about 20 robins in the trees where I'm employed. They were eating berries in the snow and from the trees and it was joyous to see the proverbial harbinger of spring! Yet it was about 7 degrees, snow and ice everywhere. I'd seen earlier this winter a large group of robins in our wild roses where they were eating the rosehips. The wild roses may become unsightly and very painful if you get tangled up in them, but in the springtime they smell heavenly and even now in the depths of winter, they are providing nourishment for sentient beings...our beloved robins...and cardinals, etc. We love feeding the birds and critters and watching the squirrels fighting with the crows over the corn on the cob we throw out ... hauling an ear here and there, their special treasure. Or more like desperate survivalists. The little frog pond and its cattails and waterlilies is piled with mounds of snow and the 80 lb cement goose's beak is about all that is sticking out...and I forgot to put her coat on this winter ;o( She's still got her purple tie dyed dress with her little purple irridescent purse hanging off her shoulder. The Ice Queen of the Snow Pond! Ha! Oh I love it when I amuse myself....and it'd just be a bonus if anyone out there in blogsville get any chuckles or anything positive from whatever I post here. I have been bogged down at facebook, sticking my nose into my friends' business, stealthily or not ... and I've neglected my blog which I have enjoyed for several years. It's always been a way to share, to vent, to rage, to love, to laugh and entertain ... if only myself. Not sure if I like this new fangled template stuff I'm trying out here but the photo is a self portrait from the bathroom "medicine cabinet" mirror. Good Medicine...Here's looking at you ... or I've got my eyes on you, Bloggies!
In any event, it is now officially the 12th of February! Darned ... this winter is moving so slowly it seems ... spring seems so very far away, those robins were just teasin'! They were those hearty souls who decided they'd overwinter in Winter Wonderland ... and now they're saying, "What was I thinking?!" I'm grateful for that vision and hopefully renewed by the knowledge that they know very well how to take care of themselves and survive...and so do I. Here's to getting through the winter loving the fact that all that snow will nourish Mother Earth and help the water tables ... hopeful that down underneath all that snow and ice lots of interesting things are going on, planning, plotting and preparing for things to come ... and yet doing it all right Here and Now. Blessings and love to you from Your SisSTAR XOXOXO

Aretha Franklin - Freeway Of Love

2010-12-28T12:33:00.001-06:00

Remember one of our first excursions getting to know each other...I drove us all over in my Silver LeCar and played this song whether he liked it or not ;oD in 1985...married less than 4 mos later, here it is 25 years now--on our Silver Anniv today! It may not be one of my favorite all-time songs, but I remember it in a pivotal moment. So let's jump on into this "better-than-ever"s ville! ;oD
Bless Aretha also.
and...Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me! At the end of our wedding ceremony, everyone (all 10 of us !) sang Happy B'day to me. I was 34...you do the math! MUAHAHA!
Sending much love from
your SisSTAR and her
Mr. Wonderful xoxoxo
and Tuffy Boy
our son ^;^
HAPPY NEW YEAR
HEAVEN IN 2011 xo

Christmas Food Court Flash Mob, Hallelujah Chorus - Must See!

2010-12-08T09:13:00.000-06:00

So are your bellies full?? Thankful for you still! xo

2010-11-25T21:03:00.001-06:00

after 3 a.m. and still fighting the sleep

2010-11-04T02:12:00.002-05:00

Greetings People! Since I'm having a little insomnia, I thought I'd share with you the recent "Buddha" cards from a deck by OSHO: I chose #17 -- "To straighten the crooked, You must first do a harder thing--Straighten yourself." The Dhammapada of Gautama the Buddha CA 500 BC: One has to learn to look at oneself with closed eyes, to watch silently. And don't carry any a priori prejudices. Many people have told you, "These are your faults." Don't carry those ideas within you, otherwise you will find them--because thought is very inventive. Put aside all that has been told about you. Remember only one thing: unless you know it on your own authority, it has no value, no meaning. So go without any prejudice--for or against. Just go in total opoenness and see. And if you love and if you know how to watch, you will come across the most mysterious phenomenon: seeing a fault is dissolving it. That is Buddha's great secret: knowing that you are doing something wrong is enough; you can't do it anymore." OSHO

Autumn leaves have fallen much, a few clingers-on. Crisp air, frosty mornings. Sending highest and best blessings to my Bloggie Friends...I've missed you! Love from your SisSTAR xo

Ten Questions

2010-10-11T10:29:00.003-05:00

To honor my good blogger friend Dancin' Fool ... I will attempt to answer these questions she tagged me with. Since my expertise at copying and pasting seems to be hindered in this instance, she was kind enough to email the questions to me and I copied them and will NOW retype here with my answers. Whew! (See DF, I'm trying hard here!!)

Anyone wanting to answer these questions, please feel free to in any way, shape or form and let me know where I can find your answers! ;oDDDD

1. If you could have super powers what would they be and what would you do with them? (Feel free to be selfish, you do not have to save the world!)
I would choose to have the super power of Healing Myself and all that I would need to do for such (including out-of-body flight etc to reach any healing place I would deem necessary etc) ... and teaching others how to heal themselves, to be a positive force of Love. Then to watch Mother Earth heal also from the positive consequences of those far-reaching healings.

2. Were you to find your self stranded on an island with a CD player ... it could happen...what would your top 10 island discs be?
This was hard!!! I think if I had more time I'd rather pick 100 songs (an average of 10 CDs) instead, but here's my picks (not necessarily in this order):
1) Bridge of Sighs-Robin Trower; 2) Dark Side of the Moon-Pink Floyd; 3) Dog 'n Butterfly-Heart; 4) Dream Weaver-Gary Wright; 5) Seapeace-Georgia Kelly; 6) Cheap Thrills-Janis Joplin and Big Brother & the Holding Co; 7) I Can Stand a Little Rain-Joe Cocker; 8) Hair-the original musical; 9) Stop Making Sense-Talking Heads; 10) Revolver-The Beatles; 11) BONUS: Double Time-Leon Redbone ;oD

3. If you were a smell what would it be? Lemons or Lilacs-not sure what both together w/be like? ;oD

4. What bird would you most like to be? Catbird-have you ever heard them sing up a storm? Awesome...not real pretty but I'll take the voice over the appearance!

5. If you were a bird whose head would you poo on? Sarah Palin ;o(

6. Are there any foods that your body craves? CHOCOLATE!

7. What's your favorite time of year? winterspringsummerfall ;oD

8. What's your favorite time of day? Sunset and waayyyy beyond-very late at night (or very early a.m., however you want to put it! but I was born year of the Cat! can't help it!)

9. If a rest is as good as a change which would you choose? A REST! I have changed many, many times and had many, many changes in my life! Ahhhhhh, a rest!

10. If you could have a dinner party and invite any 10 people from the past or present who would they be? (living or deceased)
Dinner #1: 1) maternal grandmother Pansy Blossom Griffin Link; 2) paternal grandmother Maggie Lola Morgan Haswell; 3) maternal grandfather Dale Delbert Link; 4) paternal grandfather Frank Slade Haswell; 5) mother Josephine Link Haswell; 6) father Dana Meredith Haswell, Sr; 7) brother Dana Meredith Haswell, Jr.; 8) maternal aunt Crystal May Link Nostrandt; 9) maternal great aunt Helen Griffin Caldwell; 10: NATALIE S (only one living!)
(p.s. my husband would be hosting with me, so I don't have to invite him...and as a side comment, I have not seen either of my grandmothers since they died when I was 9 nor have I ever met either grandfather since one died in the '40s and one in 1918!!)

Dinner #2: 1) Khalil Gibran; 2) George Harrison; 3) Elisabeth Kubler-Ross; 4) Vincent VanGogh; 5) Sarah Bernhardt; 6) Geronimo; 7) Maggie Smith; 8) Edgar Winter; 9) Anthony Hopkins; 10) Georgia O'Keefe (p.s. Maggie and Edgar share my birthday and Anthony's is only a few days later...like a BD party of sorts!)
Whew!!! Am I done now?

Love from your SisSTAR Kylita xoxoxoxo

Robin Trower - Bridge Of Sighs

2010-10-09T10:53:00.000-05:00

Robin Trower - About to Begin

2010-10-09T10:36:00.000-05:00

Friends

2010-09-13T22:38:00.003-05:00

Chose this photo of some good friends. Soon they will be celebrating Evelyn's service to her country a special ceremony in Washington, DC, possibly on Tuesday, but I'm not sure ... the photo doesn't go with the poem I wrote 13 yrs ago, at least I don't think so. It might!? But these are my friends and this is my poem called "Friends":

Friends
Friends--reflections in each other's eyes
Ponds reflecting free
Able to be authentically who you choose--or not--to be.
Roll the dice
Spin the Wheel
the Game of Life well spent
shall serve as remembrance of days gone by
another time
another Friend. --klh 6/27/97

Melanie - Lay Down (Candles in the Rain)

2010-09-11T09:28:00.000-05:00

Leon Russell Willie Nelson Maria Muldaur Bonnie Raitt

2010-09-10T00:32:00.000-05:00

Mountain - Heart of Mine

2010-09-08T19:55:00.000-05:00

mountain masters of war

2010-09-08T19:49:00.000-05:00

Keb' Mo' - Stand Up (And Be Strong)

2010-09-08T19:41:00.000-05:00

Deep Forest Will You be Ready (Be Prepared remix)

2010-09-07T18:34:00.000-05:00

Imogen Heap and Jeff Beck - Rollin and Tumblin live at Ronnie Scott's 20...

2010-09-06T21:53:00.000-05:00

Imogen Heap - Aha! (Lyrics)

2010-09-06T21:50:00.000-05:00

September is here

2010-09-01T10:55:00.003-05:00

Sept 1st from Cherokee Feast of Days by Joyce Sequichie Hifler:
We may be physically bound to this earth, but we are eagles in our spirits. Wo ha li, an eagle, is the symbol of freedom with power to soar. Their nests are aeries built high above all other nests where nothing can touch their young. When wo ha li sets its wings to catch the wind, its flight is one of grace and beauty. Wo ha li takes time out to renew itself, to pull out old feathers so new ones can grow in. The eagle also removes portions of its beak and new growth replaces it. We can soar as well. Our spirits have no limitations and we can set our goals to any height we aspire to reach. When we set our minds and spirits to do something, nothing can bring us down except ourselves. But we do need to take time to rest and renew so that our flight is full and free right to the goal!
Your feet shall be as swift as forked lightning; your arm shall be as the thunderbolt, and your soul fearless.
--Methoataske
***********************
When I read the above for today's date, I knew I wanted to post it here. I want to think of the eagle as a symbol of freedom with grace and beauty, renewing itself and soaring above the earthly problems of our world. I don't want to think of it as a predator (though I know it is by nature) ... and I don't want to think of America as a predator with its symbol as the Eagle, but one of grace and beauty, soaring with the power to know freedom.
Aspire to soar, dear ones, and I will also. Set your spirits free and honor your Highest and Best Selves. Many blessings to you for a new month of harvesting. Enjoy the end of your summer and welcome the beginning of that beauty that is autumn with its colors denoting the beauty and grace appearing before winter's more bleakness sets in, and even that, too, has its own set of beauty, but I just don't want to think about that right now ;oD
Much love from your SisSTAR XOXO

Potpourri from Me

2010-08-18T17:46:00.005-05:00

Peace Now or my Warrior Doll will beat you up! ;oD

TGIFthe13th

2010-08-13T21:43:00.003-05:00

Photo courtesy of K Haswell (the other one), looks like it might be at the zoo ... I stole it from her off of Facebook ;oD ... my brother died 4 yrs ago Aug 10th and these are his grandsons. Matthew and Jeffery. Just picked it as the lighting was a little bit eerie and to honor them for their Grandpaw. Life goes on, Brother! Miss you xoxo

Goes with post below

2010-08-03T23:58:00.002-05:00

Quotations

2010-08-03T23:43:00.002-05:00

From A Guide for the Advanced Soul (and I'm not saying that would be me!?) ...

"By going along with feelings, you unify your emotional, mental, and bodily states.

When you try to fight or deny them, you divorce yourself from the reality of your being."

-Jane Roberts,

Nature of Personal Reality

and

"That which oppresses me, is it my soul trying to come out in the open, or the soul of the world knocking at my heart for its entrance?"

-Rabindranath Tagore

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This has been quite a week and a half or so ... or just the whole year has been quite something. The heatwave has been totally unwelcomed by me, except it tends to bring out lots of butterflies and flowers, long as the rains keep things watered because lord knows we choose not to spend the resources or the money to water the outdoors, except for keeping the birdbaths filled and a few treasured potted plants outside. The ones inside are flourishing, helps me know that my mind is fairly balanced and even, so long as I can keep my plants alive and even blooming. A big hawk mostly grey with a white head stayed in the birdbath today while I watched it with my binocs. It had orange eyes and was fierce looking. I hoped that its back tail feather would somehow snap off and land on the ground for me to gather ... grey with dark nearly black stripes down it. See several beautiful deer, fruit on the ground in dad's old orchard ... bound to be around. Lots of critters everywhere. What drives me nuts right now are what I call the "hot bugs" -- the cicadas buzzing away to let you know, hey, bitch! it's gonna be hot out there! I don't like to be hot ... it makes me ornery! Call me the Ice Queen! Winter baby! ..........well, obviously I'm just on some rant that won't end so all I really wanted to do was post a few quotes and a few nice photos ... and to me, the wolf is a gentle soul peering around the birch shyly ... not viciously looking at "Little Red" walking out into her woodsy adventure! (Photo of "Adventure" OSHO Zen Tarot), (Photo of wolf...don't remember).

Goodnight from your SisSTAR

PEACE! Peace within, peace without, peace over, under, sideways, down, peace around, peace, a sigh of loving contentment, peace and serenity....................^;^prrrrrrrrrxoxo

Peace from your SisSTAR

2010-07-30T10:10:00.001-05:00

Not bad for a Tuesday!

2010-07-20T21:48:00.003-05:00

GOT A LOT OF COMPLIMENTS TODAY AND A GREAT HUG!
HAD A FREE LUNCH EVEN WITH A CHOC BROWNIE COOKIE!
SOMEONE GAVE ME A BRACELET SHE JUST BROUGHT BACK FROM CUBA!
GOT A GREAT LETTER WITH HEARTS AND MUSIC NOTES CONFETTI!
SOME GREAT EMAILS!!
A BLOGGIE FRIEND IS BACK BLOGGING! (missed you!)
MY CAT "LET" US FEED HIM FROM OUR HANDS ^;^
But one thing ... a good friend's Mother's funeral was today and though we didn't go, he sent us the poem he wrote for his Mom ... and we will be there for him when he needs us as best we can.
We also miss the little stray cat we named Creamy who has come to our house nearly every day for well over a year or more and, we think, we real owners moved away and took him. He wasn't very well cared for and liked being at our house. We didn't even think he HAD a home from the way he was, but he always went back in a certain direction and never spent the night, though he began trusting us enough to let us pick him up, pet him, wash his eyes out, cut mats out of him, clean his wounded paws, play with us and our cat Tuffy ... and he got brave enough to come inside and even get on our sofa and sleep. He ate really well at our house and he was so relaxed he slept right on his back all spread out. I guess it wasn't meant to be, but we will always keep a little place in our hearts for Creamy Boy. He was white with very pale orange points like a Siamese and he had beautiful blue crossed eyes. Tuffy keeps looking for him to show up. He hasn't been here since our friend's Mom died last Tuesday. Like the song from George Harrison, "All Things Must Pass" as difficult as that lesson is to learn.
Peace and Love from your SisSTAR XO

Make Someone Smile Week

2010-07-19T10:07:00.001-05:00

What Is A Poet?

2010-07-17T01:57:00.003-05:00

(Photo courtesy of Bing)

(column I've had for many years

written by Buckminster Fuller)

What Is A Poet

A poet is somebody who feels, and who expresses his feelings through words.

This may sound easy. It isn't.

A lot of people think or believe or know they feel--but that's thinking or believing or knowing, not feeling. And poetry i s feeling--not knowing or believing or thinking.

Almost anybody can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single human being can be taught to feel. Why? Because whenever you think or you believe or you know, you're a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you're nobody-but-yourself.

To be nobody-but-yourself--in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else--means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

As for expressing nobody-but-yourself in words, that means working just a little harder than anybody who isn't a poet can possibly imagine. Why? Because nothing is quite as easy as using words like somebody else. We all of us do exactly this nearly all of the time--and whenever we do it, we are not poets.

If, at the end of your first ten or fifteen years of fighting and working and feeling, you find you've written one line of one poem, you'll be very lucky indeed.

And so my advice to all young people who wish to become poets is: do something easy, like learning how to blow up the world--unless you're not only willing, but glad, to feel and work and fight till you die.

***

Peace and Love

Love and Peace

Peace

Love

from your

SisSTAR

Beach Speech

2010-07-16T11:46:00.003-05:00

BEACH SPEECH

The sand frees me

from myself

The sun shines

in my eyes

My reflection

on the water

Calls back to

me a sigh

It's hard to

be a loner

In crowds

forever near

Let the sun set

on my longings

Let me not

acknowledge

fears.

-klh/1983

2010-07-13T23:07:00.002-05:00

I am joining my SisSTAR Rhiannon in spreading the words for Peace.
Please visit her blog at:
http://innerjourneywritings03.blogspot.com/

She is a wonderful person and artist and has many intelligent and insightful posts as well as music. Peace Out!

SisSTARS for PEACE

2010-07-13T22:52:00.004-05:00

(photo courtesy of Bing)

SisSTARS for PEACE

***

Peace for Our Earth

Goodwill to All Peoples

Divine Love Shining Radiant

Throughout

No Hunger nor Thirst

No Loved One Unsheltered

The Light of the World

Has Come

Enough Love for All

Forgiveness Unbounded

Grace from the Heavens

No Fears

No Sorrow nor Pain

Protection from Avarice

Redemption

Not Condemnation

No Greed

The World and Its Peoples

Its Natural Abundance

Divided in More Equal

Shares

The World in the Arms

of the Angels of Heaven

Eyes Shining with Blessings

Aglow

All This I Have Seen

From the Heart as

Mother Earth's Child

Let Peace, Love and Healing

Be Here Now!

***

-klh 12-89, 7-13-10

Peace and Love Peace and Love

2010-07-11T10:15:00.003-05:00

Waah Boo Hoo Snort Snivel Waaahhhh

2010-07-06T22:46:00.005-05:00

Here are some sentiments to the end of my glorious 4 days off from work. Photos courtesy of Bing!

It's been so very nice having a good holiday weekend and my husband's birthday celebrations. All good things must come to an end ... but WHY??? Waahhh!!

Only 3 days then the weekend, so I guess that'll put a smile back on my face! That and the

very chilly air cond in my "cubbyhole sweet cubbyhole" I work from tomorrow. Been very

hot hot HOT!!! So...as Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders says: "It is time for me to stop all of my sobbing. Yes it's time for me to stop all of my sobbing.....gotta stop sobbing, come on, yeah! yeah! stop stop stop! ... It is time for me to laugh instead of crying ... " well, you get the idea!

Love from your

SisSTAR........back to the ol' Grind tomorrow!

XOXOXO

fireworks done, now happy birthday, babe

2010-07-05T09:16:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday, Jeffrey!

You and Huey Lewis and Robbie Robertson ;oD

Don't have a current photo, but this

one a few years ago will

have to do!

You are more handsome

every year, Darlin', and

we've had quite a fun weekend,

haven't we??

Too bad we've nearly obliterated

your German chocolate

birthday cake!

Oops!!!

Should've known better

than to make it a day early!

ha ha!!

Love you, Sweetheart,

and it has been my privilege

to celebrate this

#56

with you!

(Sorry, I have no sympathy

for you feeling "old"

since I'll always be

older than you!)

You're just a Babe!

^;^

Love from,

Wifey and Tuffy

xoxo

Happy Saturday, Bloggies

2010-07-03T07:32:00.002-05:00

Photo: Bing

Peace

Love

Fun

from

SisSTAR

XOXO

Stray Cat Mama

2010-06-26T12:43:00.003-05:00

(Full Moon influencing me--a quadruple Capricorn--and last night thinking about my wild cat Tuffy and his buddy Creamy who stops by frequently--and a flyer someone left us if we'd seen their missing cat...inspired me to write this poem/song)

Stray Cat Mama

These stray cats hanging around my doors

hanging in my heart and Soul

***

These nobody-wants-me stray cats

hanging around at job-land

hanging in my heart

and in my Soul

***

I feel like a Stray Cat, too

hanging with myself on the prowl

for a good mood.

***I'm a Stray Cat Mama

and you be a Stray Cat Daddy, too!

-klh

6/25/10 (dedicated to Tuffy

and Creamy ... and Jeff)

Happy Full Moon in Capricorn eclipsing Sun in Cancer

2010-06-26T12:39:00.003-05:00

Sending Highest and Best

Blessings to You

for a lovely

Summer weekend

from your

SisSTAR

XOXOXO

XOXO

TGIF UNDOUBTEDLY

2010-06-18T17:48:00.004-05:00

THE

END!

HERE

ENJOY!

XOXOXO

**SisSTAR**!

^;^

Beautiful June

2010-06-05T11:53:00.004-05:00

It's a glorious Saturday in June. My yard pales in comparison to this exquisite photo I found in Bing (after reading dear bloggie friend Dancin' Fool's blog and swiping a photo from said Bing!) Had to make it as my new header photo perhaps to stay the entire spring/summer. Isn't it beautiful? Wouldn't you want to be there having a picnic, playing a drum or a flute or a harmonica? Enticing the birds to sing for you? I spent some time out in my yard photographing the 7 pink water lilies blooming this morning and the two bullfrogs hanging out amongst them. Got some photos of other flowers and Tuffy, of course. He loves to pose, but he would never admit it...too aloof for that! He gave me a gift of "rubbing his scent" on me as I stood in the yard. He isn't one to do this hardly ever, instead he loves to "scent" just about anything besides me and his "daddy" ... so we are always thrilled when he graces us with this gift. Thanks, Tuffy Boy! I just hear the "noon whistle" blowing off in the distance ... at 1 pm! Ha! This daylight savings time ... shows you how important a noon whistle is. Time is irrelevent, esp on a Saturday in June.

***

Today is my good friend Juergen's birthday. I'd like to say he'd read this, but I know he won't. Fortunately, I sent him a photo card of Tuffy Boy taking a catnap, which I urged him to do for his birthday. I think I might be doing some of that this weekend as I'm short on sleep.

***

We had surprise visits from friends Wally, Patti and Evelyn who live in Georgia now. We had lunch with them yesterday and all talked furiously ... and ate dessert, us "girls" anyway! Yum! I had coconut cream pie and they both had awesome looking hot fudge somethings which I dipped the old fork in a few times (with invitation!) Sure wish we could've visited more but they are probably on their merry way back to Georgia as I write. Thanks so much for thinking of us, Buds! It'd been a long time.

***

Also had a great visit with my cousin Jimi Lee right after I got home from work. Each time we've gotten together recently, it's like time stands still and we are talking nonstop for 5-8+ hrs at a stretch! But it doesn't seem long to us. It's like a crash course in getting to know a relative you only "thought" you knew. I so very rarely see family members that it has meant so much to me.

***

Tonight we are going to a friend's house to watch new episodes of Dr Who on BBC TV. We don't get that on our cable so it gives us a good excuse to go have fun at someone else's home and catch up and play with the little dog, Baby, and little cat, BP (for "back porch"). Jan is an awesome person and her home is decorated so uniquely, her sewing all her drapery and curtains and painting her walls quite intricately in interesting color combos. Then there's that big screen TV Jeff loves ;oD ... and the Heineken. Anyone out there a Dr Who fan?

***

As for me, I am feeling pretty peaceful and happy. My neck hurts somewhat from a rather heavy workload this week, after having extra time off and only working 3 days, I made up for it with the workload and messages that came in. One day I could swear I spoke with about a thousand people, but I think I exaggerate. And to think I am not one who likes to talk on the phone much! ha ha! What webs we weave, eh? There I am stuck in the middle of my web I've woven of working for two separate psychiatric practices ... and there was a surge of calls from those wanting to be seen for first time appts. I have at least 6! to call back on Monday.

"Here I come to save the day!"

It means that Mighty Kylie Mouse is on her way!

Mr. Trouble never hangs around

when he hears this mighty sound:

"Here I come to save the day!"

It means that Mighty Mouse is on his way!

***

Sending love and highest and best wishes for

a beautiful first weekend in June!

(Hi to Rhi, Dancin' and Muhd...my best

blogging buddies!)

Voila!

Full Moon Croon

2010-05-27T22:07:00.003-05:00

Preparing for a 4-day weekend ahead and sending Love and Peace to all those who stop by. I would like to post a few items now that I read late last night. I have many books transcribed from talks given by the "politically incorrect mystic" (as he called himself) Osho. I also have the metaphysical "tool" published after his death, Zen Tarot. Last night before I went to sleep, I chose a card which turned out to be "Let Go" ... and this a.m. I chose a card called "Aloneness". I would like to transcribe both of those here for anyone who might find something poignant in them as I did. I feel a little too weary myself to compose much in the way of a post, but that doesn't mean I don't want to share something with you. Forgive me for now and then using others' words to convey something I deem important, so that you will know that I am thinking of you and sending you my love, from your SisSTAR xo.

#8 from Water: Emotions...LETTING GO

In existence there is nobody who is superior and nobody who is inferior. The blade of grass and the great star are absolutely equal...But man wants to be higher than others, he wants to conquer nature, hence he has to fight continuously. All complexity arises out of this fight. The innocent person is one who has renounced fighting; who is no longer interested in being higher, who is no longer interested in performing, in proving that he is someone special; who has become like a roseflower or like a dewdrop on the lotus leaf; who has become part of this infinity; who has melted, merged and become one with the ocean and is just a wave; who has no idea of the "I". The disappearance of the "I" is innocense.

Commentary: In th is image of lotus leaves in the early morning, we can see in the rippling of the water that one drop has just fallen. It is a precious moment, and one that is full of poignancy. In surrendering to gravity and slipping off the leaf, the drop loses its previous identity and joins the vastness of the water below. We can imagine that it must have trembled before it fell, just on the edge between the known and the unknowable.*To choose this card is a recognition that something is finished, something is completing. Whatever it is--a job, a relationship, a home you have loved, anything that might have helped you to define who you are--it is time to let go of it, allowing any sadness but not trying to hold on. Something greater is awaiting you, new dimensions are there to be discovered. You are past the point of no return now, and gravity is doing its work. Go with it--it represents liberation.

************************

and...

IX - ALONENESS.......

When you are alone you are not alone, you are simply lonely--and there is a tremendous difference between loneliness and aloneness. When you are lonely you are thinking of the other, you are missing the other. Loneliness is a negative state. You are feeling that it would have been better if the other was there--your friend, your wife, your mother, your beloved, your husband. It would have been good if the other was there, but the other is not.

Loneliness is absence of the other. Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is a presence, overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody.

Commentary:

When there is no 'significant other' in our lives we can either be lonely, or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings. When we find no support among others for our deeply felt truths, we can either feel isolated and bitter, or celebrate the fact that our vision is strong enough even to survive the powerful human need for the approval of family, friends or colleagues. If you are facing such a situation now, be aware of how you are choosing to view your 'aloneness' and take responsibility for the choice you have made.*The humble figure in this card glows with a light that emanates from within. One of Gautam Buddha's most significant contributions to the spiritual life of humankind was to insist to his disciples, "Be a light unto yourself." Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guide.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And one more from Guide for the Advanced Soul (as from previous post) .... I will open the book up to whatever page my Higher Self chooses, just for all of YOU out there ... for a special message for your Memorial Day weekend, as you remember those who have gone before you, as you understand that you a "Light Unto Yourself" and I honor you as I do those I remember with love and respect and the highest and best Life has to offer:

(wait for it............;oD.......drum roll............)

"Have you learned lessons only

of those who admired you,

and were tender with you,

and stood aside for you?

Have you not learned

great lessons

from those who braced

themselves against you,

and disputed the passage

with you?"

--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

and:

"Rest satisfied with doing well,

and

leave others to talk of you

as they will."

--Pythagoras

With Love from Your

SisSTAR XOXOXO

From RUMI

2010-05-20T22:52:00.003-05:00

God picks up the reed-flute

world and blows.

Each note is a need coming

through one of us,

a passion,

a longing pain.

Remember the lips

where the wind-breath

originated,

and let your note be clear.

Don't try to end it.

Be your note.

I'll show you how it's enough.

Go up on the roof at night,

in this city of the soul.

Let everyone climb on their roofs

and sing their notes!

Sing loud!

-Rumi

(from A Guide for

the Advanced Soul

created and handwritten by

Susan Hayward-

Let the Sun Shine

2010-05-15T10:06:00.002-05:00

After so much rain and thunderstorms for days on end, it is a gloriously beautiful Saturday and I wanted to wish everyone a happy and loving weekend. This photo was from a friend's blog as he wrote about his friend's death as a tribute to her ... I wanted to copy the photo here with the intention that all of us have had losses of friends and loved ones and those losses impact our lives in many ways. Sometimes it has felt like my whole life has been one of loss and grief of some form. I want to honor those who are grieving or ill or considering losses of various forms, be they actual deaths or the demise of a certain relationship, the loss of a beloved pet, the loss of what "might have been" in many scenarios. I know from my experience that to be brave enough to face my losses and grieve has not always made me popular with others, but with plumbing the depths of my grief feelings, I have learned that I am far more capable of feeling the joy and love of life even more, and realizing that life is very short ... then those others who have not always appreciated my sorrow, depression or sadness on the one end of the spectrum are fully able to enjoy the laughter, happiness, lovingkindness, peace, joy, humor, acceptance of others, that I am able to muster on the other end of the spectrum. Feel your feelings, people ... it's not always necessary to wallow or dwell, but it is important to FEEL and, for my own desire, to understand, if not the "others", then to understand myself. That's been important to me most of my life. So enjoy the rain and the sunshine, the flowers and the weeds, the mud and the grass, the lush greenery leafing out everywhere ... enjoy your own image in your mirrors and realize that, with a sense of wonder and amazement, and with a bit of imagination, joining you in that mirror image are all those "others" who you've known, who have taught you by example good or bad, who have impacted your life and who may or may not still be actively a part presently. Let go of sadness as you can and open to the wonder of joy-filled moments. Reflect back to everyone the pure YOU that resides within you and resonates out and away, blessing others as you are blessed by others. I sincerely feel blessed by you out there, and I send you my love ... from
Your SisSTAR XOXOXOXO.

Over the Hump Day TGIW

2010-05-05T19:57:00.003-05:00

What a pair!

***

I ran across a few things after an old friend stopped to bring me 2 photos she'd found of her mother's. My mother had given her mom 5x7 photos of me and my baby brother when I was under 2 and he was just a few weeks old. Seeing that photo of my brother really brought a sting to my heart. I was happy to have the picture and talk with an old family friend. Her family hadn't known my brother died nearly 4 yrs ago so it was fresh ... and the respect and profound understanding I felt when both of our eyes teared up. Her mom was like a wonderful aunt or 2nd mom. She died 10 yrs ago. Whenever I get nostalgic, I seem to rummage through my "stuff" -- be it old photos, letters, poetry, writings, articles, cards, etc. That is what I did when I got home from work and was alone ... rummage. So, wanting to share a few of my old "writings" I thought I'd post a blog. I'm pretty sure I posted "Ize Have It" before, but I want to again, so bear with me. The other seems to be an answer to the proclamation at the top of the notepad: "Things to do:"..........

(so, here follows that)

***

Go to work late--breathe deeply

Leave work early--don't look back

Write lists of "TO DO" -- look at 'em a few days, weeks, months ... and cross many off as lack of time, real interest isn't hard to find -- it hits you in the gut and a tingly, exciting feeling bursts through.

You are goin' on down the road, feeling bad -- would rather not be in the situation I've had to be -- errant way, trespassing on my Soul with your thoughts setting things clear for us to hear, fear or cheer!!

I choose cheer!!!

Burma Shave

Choo Choo

chugga chugga

Choo choo choo

OK!

-klh

"keep laughin' honey!"

***

AND:

THE IZE HAVE IT

Today should I:

organize

theorize

categorize

patronize or

platonize

Or should I:

compromise

and close my eyes

to the

few tries

to recognize and

legitimize

reasons for my

heavy sighs?

--no more

whys

--no more

lies

--no more need

to eulogize.

--klh xo

Happy Full Moon in Scorpio today

2010-04-28T17:27:00.002-05:00

Happy Full Moon!

Looked out at the night sky last night and it was just beautiful. When I was a kid I saw the moon not with a face but with a figure similar to Mickey Mouse shooting a bow and arrow in it. It took me far into adulthood to realize that others did not see this!?? Then I spoke with my Dad one time and he said he always saw an archer. Hmmmm! Do you suppose he told me that pre-memory recall? Then I had an album (remember those?) with all female musicians my brother gave me and one of the songs was "Woman in the Moon" and it was so beautiful. Then I began to see the "face" on the moon as a woman's and last night she was perfectly upright with her melancholy face and her slightly Mona Lisa smile and she was peachy colored. Since I work for two psychiatrists and fully believe, from experience, that there is more, shall we say, emotional ups and downs, "mental" activity going on during the lunar "lunacy" ... there were more than double the messages today, some quite frantic to be seen TODAY (didn't happen). Fortunately, I felt pretty balanced and peaceful and capable today and happy to help others.

I got a fwd of "animal lovers" photos today and copied a few, the above post being one of them. I call it the "yin/yang cat and dog" and even though it's not related to a full moon per se, it is a testament to being able to get along.

We are so excited that our niece, Becky, is coming to visit us this weekend. We have probably had a total of 2!!!! visitors briefly so far THIS YEAR! so to have someone we really love and want to visit with spend the night, well, it's such a great reason to clean the house - ha ha! She is driving 2 hrs to get here and we appreciate the effort. (And if you're reading this, Beck, thanks so much for coming!! We'll do our best not to let you down!)

I got to sit in my McIntosh Apple Tree today before work. It is in full blossom as are the other trees in our little orchard, and I hope the blossoms will last for awhile so I can sit there again and maybe get to whistle-call back and forth with some migratory birds like tanagers or orioles that like to feast on the blossoms. I can sit in the crotch of the tree and they never know I'm there. It is one of my favorite things to do ever. I always thought it'd be great to build a tree house in that tree, but I somehow don't think that's going to happen. But I can dream!

I wish you all a wonderful springtime, lots of flowers to pick and smell and put in pretty vases, and feast your eyes outside in Mother Nature with the beauty and the bounty that is our Home. Thank you, Mother Earth!

Love Your Mother!

and

Love from,

Your SisSTAR

Kylita

Tuffy Boy

2010-04-16T22:21:00.001-05:00

TGIFF yeah two "F"s

2010-04-16T21:52:00.004-05:00

In a perfect world, this would've been my cat as a kitten growing up with his own "bunny" who he learned to love and Bun loved him back. But not my Tuffy Boy! Nope! Right out the kitchen window last Friday night saw him unburying a baby bunny from its nest in the purple creeping phlox (he'd already gotten 2 that Jeff witnessed earlier in the week). I kept trying to "teach" him not to go there. I was a fool, but I love bunnies, too. So in horror I go chase him away and the Mama Bunny was trying to divert his attention at her and as he chased her Mama Mia was chasing Tuffy with a birch tree branch and then went up on the rock wall and retrieved the baby bunny so he couldn't finish eating it ;o( He had killed it beforehand, thankfully for that! And he ate its leg. Oh, Jesus! It was very sad. I wrapped him up with his bunny fur nest pieces and gave him a funeral in the trash bag. The next day I came home and saw something yellow in the myrtle groundcover. I thought it was a flower. It was a little yellow finch ;o( ... I do believe it ran into a window and broke its neck, as it wasn't bothered in any other way (unless Tuffy sat on it and suffocated the poor thing). I looked at it, its black little beady eyes staring at me ... its little feet as if on some invisible perch. There's a singer I really have started to like the last year named Imogen Heap from England and she sings a song called "Little Bird" ... I was playing that CD that night. Yes, Little Yellow Bird got a gentle wrapping of pretty paper toweling and a funeral in the trash bag. Then we got ants all over in the cupboard the next day and Jeff had a huge massacre and cleaning out the cupboards, putting any food not in cans in the refrigerator. So as the garbage and recycle contents this week were taken away, I waved goodbye to all the little tiny deaths and funerals going by the wayside. Such is life.

I had a really nice long talk with my niece tonight. She occasionally reads my blog and that makes me happy. (Hi, Becky!) Looking fwd to her visiting us soon. It'll be grand!

Well, I've been writing and writing ... letters, emails, blog comments, posting this ... whew! I am just about written out. My fingers get me in trouble. I absolutely LOVE to type! By the time I was in 9th grade, I typed 65 wpm the first semester. Before I graduated high school, I typed 100 wpm. I busted 120 wpm at a lot of job interviews. That was pre-keyboard of the computer type. Some of those are slick, but sometimes I miss that solid stream of thought on the old IBM Selectric with the little element balls of different type. That's waaayyyyy Old School, but I was one of two "girls" in typing in 11th or 12th grade who had the electric typewriters! Geez! Only 2! Now there are computers everywhere ... little children having their own cell phones, laptops, ipods this, mp3 that, apps up the wazoo ... and, phooeeeyyyy! I'll just keep on typing away and occasionally I even use a PEN!!! with INK in it! Do you believe it??? I even use a pencil, a mechanical pencil I prefer but I really don't like using pencil. I love my Waterman pen but the damned ink keeps running out. So ... is cheap better? Sitting here paying for cable, my thoughts and power typing is free ... listening to Imi Heap blasting out ... and waiting for my Honey to come home. Should be soon now. I never even took my nap I needed so badly today. Just feel wired. If I went to a psychiatrist I'd probably be diagnosed bipolar ... but instead I just work for them. Works for me! I'm up, I'm down, I'm over and all around. I'm high, I'm low, I'm whatever the fuck I want to be when I want to be it ... at least in my highly evolved imagination! So...Little Bird, Little Bird, where have you gone?

Don't think poorly of my cat, Tuffy Boy. I love him so much that the fact he is a serial killer of bunnies and who knows what all? (One year a ground hog!) I suffer from my love of him. And it is worth it. I could look at him as "population control". He, afterall, had to get neutered so that in itself has helped not have more innocent baby strays out there with no one to love them and no one to care or shelter or protect them. Whenever I happen to run across that situation, should the horror show itself again right in my face, I will never allow the carnage ... won't allow him to munch down on baby bunnies. There's lots of predators around here ... big! hawks, herons (stabbing and choking down our goldfish and an occasional bullfrog!) ... feral cats ... people!

I got a book at Sally's today called ZEN by Alan Watts. I know me and that book are going to have a really nice relationship. Ah, the sanctity of life in all its myriad forms. And to that I will bid you adieu and wish you well with many blessings. Our Lunaria (a/k/a Money Plant) are growing a lot and some blooming already! So we are growing money! You see, Mom was wrong! It might not grow on trees, but it does grow into a nice shrubby bush and you can have little purple flowers and then make the "coins" ... the part about trying to go out and spend them is another thing, but I digress..................nightie night!

Love from your SisSTAR

New Moon in April

2010-04-05T22:27:00.002-05:00

Well, it's not a new moon yet, but it will be on the 14th. I put a new header photo up there of a pic I got fwd'd to me this past wkend. It looks a lot like our kitty, Tuffy, and we do have between 3-7 deer who roam around our little +/- 2 acres ... there's a lot of wild property surrounding us and a little creek for them to follow, but just a very short distance away is one of the heaviest intersections in the county and we are pretty much in the "city" once you leave our road. We get fined now if we feed the deer, but we have always fed the birds and critters and even if we didn't put any cracked corn, etc. on the ground, the deer come right up to the fence and eat out of the bird feeder! I was sitting out in the little orchard (another place they get "accidentally fed" when it's harvest time--since we don't spray the fruit, it is for them and other critters) ... I heard a snort and saw Tuffy walking tenuously out of the weeds and I was on the other side of the old McIntosh apple tree when I turned around and saw a doe staring at me. She came into the orchard where it is mowed and was really, really close to me and kept snorting and stomping her front hooves! I was reading a newspaper and knew that I had to be real cool ... one of my first thoughts was of me being trompled in the face with little doe hooves! So I talked really low and gentle to her and she kept stomping ... and then I put the newspaper slowly up to my face and turned her way and, whew! she went flying down into the wooded area with her white tail up in the air and disappeared. That was a close one...and I'm sure she had a fawn or fawns close by she was protecting. Anyway...I wanted to share that little story, for no particular reason. Everything seems to be mating now ... I saw two mourning doves getting down on the phone wires! That's a balancing act if I ever saw one! And there were two red and black beetles going for it on the rock wall. Birds are doing their little mating dances and cooings and there is a pair (with an extra male hanging around) of mallards in the pond doing some strange head bobbing dance.
Well, speaking of mates ... mine just got home from work and I will close this now and go out and greet him. I feel really blessed to live here in my childhood home with him ... and Tuffy Boy and all the critters and birds......and many memories.
Love from your SisSTAR xoxoxo

Full Moon Fantasies

2010-03-29T22:13:00.006-05:00

This is Emily ... new Mom of Aidan on 3/20/10 in Texas

Happy Full Moon in Libra

The night sky is beautiful out there tonight. Officially full about 45 mins ago. Some of you would scoff at my suggestion that things can

get a little "loony" during the lunar fullness ... but we are all salt

water, bloggies, and those ebb and flow of tides within us are not

without their meaningfulness sometimes.

1st day of spring, nearly 10 days ago now, got two phone calls: 1) my

cousin died up north...he was married to his awesome wife 62 yrs;

2) our friend's daughter had her baby in Texas where she went to

help her ... and we heard of it just minutes after it happened laughing

with the newly uncle and grand uncle of little Aidan ... at a pub at

the end of our road. Both in the same day. Sympathy followed by

congratulations. Sorrow followed by joy. Memories followed by new

memories in the making. And we as witness.

I don't know ... will March go out like a Lion? It came in like a Lamb,

so the old story goes. It certainly has cooled down drastically, dang

it! The warmth and sunshine were so welcoming, but then those

early damned mosquitos weren't welcome at all! Bastards! Will it

still snow yet? Hmmmmm!?

Today is the 24th and 17th anniv of my dad and mom's deaths ... and

also their wedding anniversary. I know I've written about them

dying and being buried both on their anniversary. Always the drama

with them! ha! I live in my childhood home, as I've said over and over

boringly...but I honor them with my memories and the good memories

are the best. All in all it's been a peaceful weekend and Monday, and

a Full Moon to boot, just to add to the drama.

Happy Trails, Dana and Josephine ... thank you for marrying and

having me 9 yrs later, your first bundle of joy. I am grateful.

***

Make some memories out there, Bloggies! Remember your loved ones

in positive lights. Keep smiling and shining on!

Love from your

SisSTAR xoxoxo

Peaceful Friday NIght - Ahhhhhhh

2010-03-19T21:00:00.004-05:00

This was artwork I "borrowed" from a fwd email yesterday. I thought it was so beautiful and loved the kissing couple. I dedicate this to all of you Bloggies out there who are in love (like me) and wish you lots of nice hugs and kisses and moments to remember ... gentle, peaceful moments that seem just so ordinary and mundane at the time, but reflecting later you might come to realize that often it is those times indeed we remember when alone, in a meditative mood. For me, if I were to die this instant, I feel I have realized some of my highest and best dreams in the love I share with my husband, and our friendship that has grown these nearly 25 years. We will celebrate our Silver Anniversary at the end of this year (silver is my favorite "precious" metal, even more than gold, could be my hair?) ... it seems hard to believe that I still miss him when we are apart, that we call each other several times a day while we are at work, we are for the most part loving, kind and respectful to each other (how nice to never be called "my old lady" or a number of other derogatory things I can recall!) I look forward to working out in the yard and flowers with each other ... he has already started raking flowerbeds and cutting trees that are diseased. Yesterday I looked down in what we call "the garden" (it was nearly a full acre that my father planted until he couldn't any more ... and we've never had that same ambition that he had, not to mention all the wildlife that would surely be consuming it before we had a chance to) and, anyway, I looked down there from the kitchen window and here was Jeff, walking with our cat Tuffy beside him, more like a dog than a cat. He really misses our dog and the long walks they always took, but he's gotten into the habit of walking down there and having Tuffy follow him ... just like my old cat Ralph used to do with my dad, winning my dad's heart over when he was always someone who "didn't like cats". The scene of my two "guys" walking together was so cute to me.
Last night Jeff worked over 12 hours at his job, when usually it is 7 hrs per night, and tonight who knows? He also has to work tomorrow on Saturday ;o( even though they have a fit if he goes over 40 hrs a week, unless it serves their purpose. He was hoping to have tomorrow off since he will definitely be over 40 hrs...but then, the health insurance premium will be due soon and the bills will always get paid, leaving not so much for fun, play or recreation. We still have good times, though, just sitting across the kitchen table talking together, catching up on how our work day/night went, laughing about all the strange and often funny things that employees can get into (which I won't repeat here). I sometimes record several TV shows so we can watch them together later on (we love Ghost Whisperer and Medium ... and Chuck!) I get a reprieve tonight with nothing of interest to watch or record so I have been reading magazines as the dishes sit in the sink ... sitting out under the McIntosh apple tree at the picnic table with Tuffy coming to visit me and cuffing at me when I bugged him too much (as he gazed excitedly at a nearby rabbit, too lazy to chase it, gladly!) and I thought I'd just reminisce here a little about loving someone ... and dedicating this post to me and my husband ... and all you others out there who are in love, have been in love, will be in love, and especially loving yourselves first and foremost so you know how very worthy you are to be loved in return. Bless you and thank you for sharing your love with me now and again. It is such a breath of fresh air to hear positive stories in the midst of the daily grind of negativity everywhere in the media, etc. I pretty much steer clear of that or of anyone who wants to spread it.
Last night just as I was winding down at work, I inadvertently locked myself out of the office inner door and after realizing the cleaning lady was gone from the building, and delivering a letter down the hall to a psychologist friend, after I told her about my predicament and that I didn't think I could fit thru the receptionist window if I tried to climb through, she offered to come down and climb through for me ... and she's a tiny lady. She came down and climbed through and, wow! that was so nice of her to offer that service! I was able to get my work done and leave on time and have a nice chat with her, and she commended me on my recent "being in control" of my health and eating habits and healing process. I came home last night and went out and picked some pussy willows from our tree (my dad orig planted many yrs ago and we resurrected it) and put them into a beautiful piece of pottery that is hard to explain, but it's very earthy and looks somewhat like an acorn with only a small hole in the top to put flowers, etc. in. I do believe Monday I am going to give that to her for helping me, even though she said it was a "piece of cake" and "no big deal"... it was a big deal to me. I think, anyway ... it is awfully beautiful! ;oD
Well, as you can see, I can ramble on ... it is very fulfilling sometimes to just sit here "talking" to you folks. I feel a sense of peacefulness knowing that we have this connection all around the world ... from the United Kingdom to Singapore to Oregon to Connecticut to Minnesota ... one never knows. BUT! I digress ... I sign off with my dedication to you lovers out there ... go look at yourself in a mirror, hopefully a beautiful mirror, and KNOW that what you see is so good and wondrous and meaningful to me and so many others ... make sure it is all that and more to YOU!
Have a lovely first day of Spring tomorrow. The Vernal Equinox ... hope springs eternal ... and I am, your faithful SisSTAR of the C.O.D.E. (Childless Orphaned Daughter of the Evolution ... resolving to evolve). Whew! That was a long one, eh? ;oD XOXOXOXOXO

Happy St Patrick's Day

2010-03-16T23:08:00.003-05:00

At a time when being "green" is fashionably ecological, I know I will have to be wearin' a bit o'green tomorrow! It was also a treat to see a free concert at our Library last Sunday of the musicians called BLACKTHORN. My brother and me used to take a beer out of the refrigerator, uncap it, put a bit of green food coloring in it and put the cap back on for when our dad came home from work. Of course, I'm sure he was expecting it all since it was a family tradition for years and years, but he'd always act surprised and we'd be so pleased with ourselves. Just before my dad died 3/27/86, that St Patrick's Day we put a little green food coloring in a glass of milk for him and he smiled, which was rare to be sure after he'd developed Parkinson's and sort of "lost" his emotional responses and his wonderful sense of humor and laugh and smile ... and he looked up at us and and said, "My father died on St Patrick's Day, I'm not sure if I should be celebrating it." Yes, my grandfather died 3/17/1918! Makes me feel sort've old, and I'm only a mere 58...but dad's dad died when my dad was only 12. I do remember lots of fun and happy St Patrick's Day celebrations in our little family of 4 with the dish my mom called "Jigs 'n Maggie" also known as corned beef and cabbage. I'm making cabbage, red potatoes, onions and carrots "boiled dinner" tomorrow and that will suffice. I know my husband and myself will love it.

I even have a couple little shamrock plants I've tended to for many years now and one is blooming. The purple one will be blooming one of these days, and it has little purple flowers as opposed to the white ones on the green shamrock. So here's to Ireland and here's to being green! And here's to Danny Boy xoxo

from your SisSTAR

xoxoxoxoxo

Phenomenal

2010-03-13T16:49:00.002-06:00

My husband and I went to a fairly new restaurant in downtown Rochester yesterday before we went to work ... a certified organic vegan, vegetarian and organic meat restaurant that grows its own herbs and will be growing even vegetables, etc. soon. (We had a coupon ;oD) I nearly changed my mind as it was pouring rain out and not like the 2-3 days of sunshine and warmth (for Michigan) that we'd had earlier in the week. But Jeff talked me into going and I was so glad I did. The food was so yummy and when I went in the door I saw a customer I used to wait on when I worked at the health food store years ago and though I couldn't remember her name, we hugged and exchanged names and she just kept telling me that I looked wonderful. We sat within seeing distance from her as she waited for her take-out order (her first visit, too) and kept telling me that I looked "phenomenal!" and even told my husband that I looked phenomenal and that he was a lucky man. Wow! That made my month! I have been taking lots better care of myself and eating very well and lost probably 25-30 lbs, still having a way to go but with encouragement like that, hey! I will keep on keeping on, for sure! I will be sure to go back there and nose around in their herbs growing ... and hopefully purchase some of their greeting cards made from elephant poop! No shit (pardon the pun!). They were called "PooPoo Cards" ha ha! I loved it! Afterwards when Jeff went to do the banking thru the busy lunch hour traffic, I went a few doors down to visit the Native American store Legends in Time and got myself a strand of hematite and one of sunstone. I love rocks in so many forms and have many! I quite often end up giving my strands of gemstones away to friends at my own whim, so replacing a few with these was a thrill.

We are awaiting a friend's visit and are going to go to the corner Thai restaurant with him. His father died Tuesday and we are so glad he's coming to see us.

So, I must sign off for now....from the Phenomenal SisSTAR Kylita! (tee hee!)

xoxoxoxoxo

Happy Birthday to SisSTAR Rhiannon

2010-03-11T20:42:00.005-06:00

SisSTAR Rhiannon

Barbara Lynne

You are special to me

a kindred Spirit who shares The Cat, The Rabbit,

the love of Compassion and Kindness,

Angel Blessings and Friendship True

These are tiny fractions of the wonder I see in you

Forgive me "stealing" your photo

and YOUR beautiful artwork featured above

I had to have something of yours to share

with any friends who might come here

You are far across the country

in the land my father was born

and one day I am hoping

that we can meet across a kitchen table

with a cup of tea,

lots of laughter,

maybe a tear or two

but if that never happens

please know that I am so grateful

I've come to know you.

Hope your Birthday's been best as can be

(and hey, Kiddo, now you're

older than me!)

tee hee!!

Love from your,

SisSTAR Kylita

Kyle Lynn

XOXO

^;^

meow

purrrrrrrrr

Sunny Friday

2010-03-05T08:48:00.004-06:00

Good morning, Bloggies! I am feeling so much better and eagerly awaiting the end of my work day today. Of course, I haven't even made it to work yet as I have a

choice of when I go in ;oD and it's so sunny and beautiful outside, even though there's still plenty of snow and cold it makes it so much nicer to see the sunshine.

I have been meditating on the living room floor nearly every morning in the sun's rays and find it very energizing. A lot different than my old "usual" way of sleeping until 10 am and then checking the dr's messages, rushing around and getting there shortly afterwards. Now I do "leisurely" and I like that ;oD Well, actually I've been quite productive, amazing myself lately, and sleeping well without the aid of anything. Haven't used my asthma inhaler much at all since I've been eating healthy and that will help a lot with the anxiety, insomnia and heart palpitations which were the "norm". But enough of all this crapola!

Today is a beautiful sunny Friday, Bloggies. I am sending out good wishes over the e-waves hoping all of you will have a fantastic weekend in whatever way you choose, with a few surprises (good ones!) thrown in to keep things exciting. Be well and love yourself and one another!

From your SisSTAR

Kyle Lynn xo

(Next wkend is daylight savings already! My husband Jeff saw a Robin yesterday!!)

TGIF in Winter Wonderland

2010-02-26T22:39:00.002-06:00

It's been awhile and in the interim I was learning how to get sick of being sick. There's been a change in the weather and a change in me ... yes, by God, there'll

be a change blowing in the wind, my Friends. And,

that being said, I have nothing much else to write (well, actually I'm concerned that if I start typing I may go on forever as I'm so filled with new and wonderful things floating around in my head, as often happens when one looks at mortality, but I digress...)

I got to talk to two friends this evening and that was spirit-raising. I "found" a very cool "CD Catalogue of World Music" 10-CD set of about 350-500 one and-a-half minute songs from everywhere in the world. I love it so much. I am almost tempted to follow Jeffrey's suit and buy a cheapie MP3 player. Oh, my! Could I possibly get so high tech? I don't have a cell phone, or even a microwave or a garbage disposal or dishwasher, (I was going to say "half a brain" but that would be mean to myself!) so an MP3, man, I'm not sure. But can you imagine 1-1/2 minute songs of awesome dance/exercise/energize music?? I am now playing the Didgeridoo from Australia and it is so awesome. I once was in a medication group with a beautiful percussionist, hand drummer teacher and all of us were lying on the floor in a big circle with our heads in the center and she went around individually and blew the Didge right above our heads. It was a most stupendous experience and "blew me away" (oh, ha ha!) I so love music from many places and I love making music up all the time, but then it's poof! gone forever, out into the ethers.

OK, the main reason I got on here was NOT to type my own words, but I "pulled" a card from the OSHO Zen Tarot deck tonight and it was one I'd just gotten a month ago and had just put the card away ... it was SLOW DOWN with a big tortoise on the front. And this is what it says:

"Slowing Down" - Meditation is a kind of medicine, its use is only for the time being. Once you have learned the quality, then you need not do any particular meditation, then the meditation has to spread all over your life.

Walking is Zen, sitting is Zen.

Then what will be the quality? Watchfully, alert, joyously, unmotivated, centered, loving, flowing, one walks. And the walking is sauntering. Loving, alert, watchful, one sits, unmotivated--not sitting for anything in particular, just enjoying how beautiful just sitting doing nothing is, how relaxing, how restful ...

After a long walk, you sit under a tree and the breeze comes and cools you. Each moment one has to be at ease with oneself--not trying ti improve, not cultivating anything, not practicing anything.

Walking is Zen, sitting is Zen,

Talking or silent, moving, unmoving,

The essence is at ease.

The essence is at ease: that is the keyword. The essence is at ease: that is the key statement. Do whatsoever you are doing, but at the deepest core remain at ease, cool, calm, centered.

COMMENTARY:

The Knight of Rainbows is a reminder that, just like this tortoise, we carry our home with us wherever we go. There is no need to hurry, no need to seek shelter elsewhere. Even as we move into the depths of the emotional waters, we can remain self-contained and free from attachments. It is a time when you are ready to let go of any expectations you have had about yourself or other people, and to take responsibility for any illusions you might have been carrying. There is no need to do anything but rest in the fullness of who you are right now. If desires and hopes and dreams are fading away, so much the better. Their disappearance is making space for a new quality of stillness and acceptance of what is, and you are able to welcome this development in a way you have never been able to before. Savor this quality of slowing down, of coming to rest and recognizing that you are already at home.

Goodnight, Friends in the e-waves...from

Your SisSTAR *** xoxo

Great Weekend

2010-02-07T22:24:00.004-06:00

We watched several good movies this weekend: Ultimate Gift and Harvey. The 1st was a real tear-jerker with the little girl who was in Little Miss Sunshine. Both were extremely good. Instead of watching the Super Bowl, we watched a lot of the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet, which was cute.

This photo I had to copy from a fwd this wkend. It reminds me of all the time I am having to spend on hold trying to get through to insurance companies to authorize patient visits with all the new insurances and their changes after the 1st of the year. It has been so frustrating and downright makes me angry! Can't accomplish anything and if I don't get them, the doctor won't get paid, or the patient will have to pay when they're not supposed to. Grrrrrr!!! Here it is (I hope it will be posted where I want it to...it gets tricky sometimes).

Today would've been my Grandma Maggie Morgan Haswell's birthday. She was 83 when I was born and is the one I still have her Christmas cactus which is still blooming since Nov. 26th. I'm just "nostalgic" like that.

Went to Sally's (Salv Army) last night for a few special finds ... Jeff can't believe he bought a "Michigan" jacket (since Michigan State is his favorite) but hey, it was $4!!!!! 60% off and probably cost $80-$100 orig at Steve 'n Barry's. I bought an awesome pretty pink towel set with a beautiful brightly embroidered butterfly on each all for less than $2!!! Jeff "spun the wheel" and got an extra 59% off! Awesome. However!!! there was a real little boy sitting in his parents' shopping cart squealing at a decibel only dogs should've heard and it sounded like bottle rockets ... it hurt your ears so bad. I called him Pavarotti - perhaps he can go on to be a high soprano opera singer, or at least a choir boy. Hope I don't hear him ever again!!!! Ouch!

We seem to have missed out on a lot of snow this winter, which doesn't hurt my feelings. Weather tonight says some is on its way...we shall see. What will be, will be, oui?

Love and blessings and a fun week ahead to you all, from

Your SisSTAR xoxoxo

He works for treats

2010-01-27T18:59:00.002-06:00

Thought I'd try Tuffy Boy on my "masthead" for awhile. I can't seem to keep it at the same photo for very long. Variety is the spice and all...But he's such a pretty boy, our wild child. Just hoping to get through the winter. Got my car washed and same day he was walking on it with his muddy feet and sliding off the roof onto the back and off, the entire top of the car he walked! The T-Bird does not like it.

Well, thank god it's the back end of Hump Day ... Wednesday, hell of a day to call it, but we're "over the hump" so 'they' say. I sit here doing my "email" thing and the rare blog (I've been on a roll lately but it can't last ;oD)

Bon soir, Mes Ami xoxoxoxoxo Soeur Estrelita xoxo

Slowing Down

2010-01-27T18:39:00.002-06:00

I don't usually go on You Tube much, but wanted to find Robin Trower's "About to Begin" and cut and pasted the 1st one I came to here. It's way too short for the beauty it has in it, but I guess life is like that, eh?

Thinking of some of my favorite bloggie souls out there ... there's just a select wonderful few,
and it's a sunny day when one of them might leave a comment. I appreciate that, folks. I do
believe there are a few friends and family who "read me" now and then, or so I've been told,
and if any of you are "looking" at me here today, blessd your hearts, Bruthas and SisSTARS.

Sometimes I think I should get a different profession. After talking to so many patients in two
doctors' offices all week, now my friends are getting ticked because I don't feel like answering my phone or returning calls very fast...or ever. I try to explain that part of me right up front,
so no one feels neglected or takes it personally. Aren't boundaries wonderful things? I used
to think that I didn't have any or wasn't allowed any, and then when I realized I could put
up some of my own boundaries for my self-preservation, whatever they may be, and others
have that right also. There should be more tolerance for one another, ya know?

It's been quite the year already.........and now for a little Robin Trower. This is one of my
favorite songs from him...and I love Bridge of Sighs.

With love from,
Your SisSTAR xo
****************

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5c2MwmDyEw

Namesake

2010-01-22T19:25:00.003-06:00

I was unable to post this actual photo, but like a gift to myself, I found 10 photos of the woman my mother always told me I was named after online last night. I wasn't even looking for her and don't remember how I did it, but only one other person besides my mother that I talked to in my entire life had ever heard of her. Mom always said she was a cute little singer on the Arthur Godfrey Show in the late '40s and early '50s. Instead of hearing always, "Did your parents want a boy?" or "Were you named after your father?" ... now I have this pretty lady's photo and a little bit of bio about her. She truly is the only woman I've ever heard named Kyle from that long ago...born 5-13-22. So, let me introduce to you, Kyle MacDonnell. I am her namesake and I am pretty proud.
Love, from your SisSTAR
xoxoxo

http://www.life.com/image/50512612

Capricorn Earth Mother

2010-01-18T22:12:00.001-06:00

YOU SAVED MY SOUL...
thank you xo

from your SisSTAR Senorita Kylita xoxoxo

Struttin' in the New Year,

2010-01-18T21:22:00.002-06:00

Grandma Maggie Haswell and Aunt Oneta Haswell are having tea in the photo with me (in my friend's Rolls dahhhling) Not easy to see them, but I have an awesome color photograph of the larger scene, under a yellow umbrella.

Saw a big hawk on the fence yesterday ... he disappeared fast. I thought, lonely guy, what a way to live, eyeballing the ground all the time, or bushes, trees, for the next meal. We get some unbelievable specimens flying around here, but then we have oodles of rabbits, squirrel, birds, frogs, feral cats, ground hogs, etc. Least the buzzards aren't flying over ... too much, anyway. Someday no doubt. I wonder what it must be like knowing when you die your body will go to the vats or whatever, to be burned next to the water with the vultures ripping you apart. Somehow that doesn't bother me as much as thinking about being buried underground. At least it'd serve some purpose. Can't say I'd want to be known later as buzzard shit, however. As you can tell, I have been having many dreams lately and my brain doesn't shut down much, which I guess could be a good thing except that it feels very exhausting. I really do want to write "my book". I have the title ... if any of you are Haswells reading this (probably not ;o( you might recall the word ... all my younger life I saw it and never knew what it meant. It was the "Skinners of Anodyne" on the mailboxes that lined M22 at Haswell Road. It was from Aunt Dorothy, Dottie, Dot ... (if I wouldn't have been so shy I should've called her that) "alleviation of pain" is close to the definition, I believe. So I want to write about the many ways of alleviating pain, but esp in the metaphysical venues.

It was time I had to have a "ramble on" kind of post. A "sail on Silver Girl" post and a sort of scat! (Shooby doobie do wah.................bop!) Is it me, or has this year been really exhausting already?! I played my zymbals/finger cymbals for Tuffy tonight playing Imi Heap music on the computer. He liked it, or tolerated it, which is something considering metal carries sound pretty well and he was close ... I started out softly and then let it wail and it felt cathartic! It was fun. I am reading a book "When Women Were Drummers" going back pre Paleolithic eras and long ago and far away.........all the engravings, hieroglyphics, statues, figurines, gravestones, etc. of women, often the Earth Mother type who I can identify with ... if you know what I mean. Rather build for comfort, not for speed. Not even for comfort, really. But there were women always drumming and using tambourines and cymbals and sistrums ... celebrating with rhythm, the beat of our hearts. I vow to dance and sing and play more music this year ... 'cause "I've got to tryyyyyyy just a little bit harder..... tryyyyyyyy, yeah,..............tryyyyyyyy yeah..... just a little bit harder.............ok, gotta go now. This has been your impromptu boggie post from your SisSTAR. Happy Fucking New Year..............Valentine's Day 2/14/10 Chinese New Year of the Tiger - RRREEEEOOOOOWWWWWWW! hiissssssssssssssssssssss.

(no friendships were harmed in the making of this blog)

(no meat was eaten nor fur worn typing this blog)

(my cat was given the better chair to sit in and I

gave up another blanket and towel to him)

p.s. this is what happens when I do the laundry.........pfffffftttt!

I have a dream, too

2010-01-18T20:46:00.004-06:00

I dream someday all sentient beings will be wanted and loved and sheltered and rescued and nourished ... as they nourish me.

Thank you, little Tuffy Boy......Mama loves you!

KLH - Keep Laughin' Honey!

The Beauty of Death XIV by Khalil Gibran

2010-01-06T22:53:00.000-06:00

The Beauty of Death XIV by Khalil Gibran

Welcome to 2010 in fun times and in sad

2010-01-06T22:08:00.002-06:00

Happy New Year

I was prompted to write in my blog today for my blogger friend Muhd Imran from Singapore. I read his blog earlier today and saw that on Jan 4th his family was told their father had one week to live. I have been following this kind and loving family for quite sometime now and I couldn't help but cry, genuinely sad for them and knowing the difficulties in saying goodbyes. I've never been real good at them. But it made me remember a poem I wrote in 1982 and have given often to friends who have had loved ones die or to friends who were terminally ill, and I promised Muhd that I would try and find this poem and post it for him tonight. It wasn't where I thought it was, but I looked in a bag in my bedroom where I'd stashed some writings and found it immediately. I dedicate this to Muhd and his father and large extended family, and I pray they can all find peaceful loving ways to be together this week of a new year.

MY PRAYER

Lord, give me courage everyday

To believe Your Way is my way

Help me through the darkened hours

Show me fragrant blooms of flowers

Make me give more than I take

Lift me up should my heart break

Light each path I'm headed for

If I knock, unlock the door

Let me always love and grow

With grace my faith will always show

Help me smile when one won't come

Give me peace when day is done

Let me ease pain with my touch

And, Lord, if it's not asking much

When it's time my Soul takes flight

I will trust the timing's right

But, please, before my body dies...

...give me time to say good-byes.

-Kyle Lynn Haswell, 1982

(Honor, Michigan)

**********

Love and blessings from your

SisSTAR Kyle xo

Silent Night Holy Night All is Calm All is Velvety Dark but the Light in my Soul is Bright

2009-12-24T23:48:00.003-06:00

Some photos of me with my cousins and brother (he's only in bottom right with rag or hat?? on his head) All the "girls" are still living, but all the "boys" are gone now. Sometimes I find myself looking like "me" in the bottom left bawling my head off, but the holidays are a little melancholy for me. I can be laughing in the next moment.

It is nearly 1 a.m. and husband and cat are sound asleep in living rm, and I need to go to bed, too. I keep thinking of a lot of parents who are up trying to make a nice Christmas for their kids, the kids who are all excited and wanting to get up before dawn, all the love and peace that goes along with this season of abiding love, whether I feel the same way as I did from past Christmases, it doesn't matter now. Right now, it is Christmas, with well over 50 yrs worth of memories of those spent at those homes in the pictures (my Grandma's or Aunt and Uncle's) and esp right here where I type, in the dark, computer screen the only light. I hear my husband softly snoring in the liv rm, his leg's been lame all week and in pain, he gave me a beautiful card and necklace and bracelet tonight and I didn't have anything for him ;o( ... I realize how much I love him and my family and friends and though I don't communicate with too many any more, I always remember that I love them, and miss them. I am grateful for the present moment and I will "sleep in Heavenly Peace".

Love and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from

your SisSTAR xoxoxo

Solstice Blessings, Good Tidings of Comfort and Joy

2009-12-19T12:04:00.003-06:00

Hi there! I can't believe that I haven't posted much in awhile. All work and no play makes SisSTAR dull and not shiny. So! I wanted to start my weekend with a post. The photos are of last year's Christmas Cactus. I wish I had photos of it this year because I just counted 30 blooms on the one in the white pot (it gets more sun) and lots more buds to go. This amazes me because it belonged to my father's mother who would be something like 140 yrs old now. She died when I was 9. These 2 plants used to be one but when I had it outside one summer, a wind blew it onto the ground and it broke in half. Other than that, I've never had the nerve to repot it because it seems to want to bloom just the way it is. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. My mother always tended to it well and tried to tell me what to do...move it into a cold, dark room for such and such, then move it back out in the sun ... but I can never remember, so I leave it to its own doing and the 1st bloom this yr was on Nov 26th, not only Thanksgiving but my mother's birthday ;oD. It warms my heart and soul. I guess you would say many of my plants are like Souls to me ... and I do my best to give them the care they need, without much fuss with fertilizing, etc. Just love, water, sunshine, and keeping them away from drafts. One African violet was totally dead except for one tiny leaf and I nearly threw it away, but instead, I gave it a little more dirt, put it in my kitchen window and keep turning it a tiny at a time ... and in a very short while it has over a dozen new beautiful leaves and today I just saw a tiny purple bud! Oh my heart lept for joy!
Before she died in 1994, my "second mother" gave me a cutting off her Angel Wing begonia and it was a struggle trying to keep it going, once down to just 2 leaves. But right now it stands in a pot on the floor and is taller than me (5'5") and putting out new leaves all the time. I've even made cuttings for her two daughters and hope their plants are doing well.
Enough about my plants, though...'tis the season and all. I took some beautiful ornaments into work and decorated the fake ficus tree and a small cabinet for the patients, hoping to lift their spirits. We'll probably hang our old handmade peace sign made out of the coat hanger wire in the picture window and that's about it for home. But we've been getting some cards from friends and those spruce things up a bit. Tuffy the cat even got a stocking from his Aunt Kristine and CJ. He played with a few things out of it last night...his "Mama" doesn't wait for Christmas too often. It's always been a "thing" with me and no one can make me any more ;oD
We get a little bit of time off, long weekends really, so we look very fwd to that. And perhaps those 40% off coupons that expire at Borders will do the trick for our gifts to each other today. We are also going to visit a friend to watch Dr Who on her cable TV tonight...we can't get BBC on ours and this past year we have become insane fans of Dr Who and will get to see the new ones with her.
I called my cousin last night whose beautiful pet wolf dog had to be put to sleep a short time ago, and found out just one hour before she had adopted a 7 yr old dog from the shelter where she volunteers. I was so happy for her. She realized she wasn't "replacing" Timber but she was giving help to an animal who needed it who in turn will be helping her with her grief...like our Tuffy Boy did for us when Mandy died over 3 yrs now! (He's dozing in his rocking chair after being out in the snow that he loves for a few hrs this a.m. I swear he is related to some Arctic Lynx or something!?) So congrats, Cousin, on Bear. Many blessings on your lives together.
I want to take this time to wish the very dear friends who occasionally "read me" out there very happy holidays. Whether you call it Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah(sp?), Seasons Greetings, to me it all means: somehow there just should be a stronger feeling and Knowing of LOVE and PEACE in our hearts and that is something beautiful to strive for. Monday the Sun moves into Capricorn...my sign...a winter baby. Winter Solstice, the darkest day of the year...and then the light increases! Don't be afraid of the dark ... "the stars are there by night or day, and hearts are set aright!" Oh, and Happy New Year if I don't get back here by then. All I've coined for this one so far is Twenty-Ten...Better Then! There's always room for improvement...let the past go by the wayside, have some fun, be at peace, live in joy, love one another, and esp love yourself. May you be blessed richly and given good tidings of comfort and joy.
With love from,
Your SisSTAR XOXOXO*****XOXOXO*****XOXOXO*****XOXOXO

Cheers to Friday the 13th

2009-11-13T17:57:00.004-06:00

Enjoy your weekends, bloggies.

***

I ran across these two days' worth of OSHO writings which apparently I'd earmarked a year ago. I decided I did like them so I am going to share them here, if only for my own perusal as I look back over my "life/blog" as time goes by.

From "Everyday OSHO" day 309:

ATOMIC MOMENT

Each moment is atomic.

There is no need for two moments to have any sequence.

***

It is the one-dimensional mind that continuously asks for some meaning, some meaning that runs through all moments, that wants everything to be connected by a cause-and-effect chain, that wants everything to move somewhere, to reach somewhere, to conclude somewhere. That is the logical mind, the one-dimensional mind.

Life is multidimensional. It has no goal really, no destiny. And it has no meaning, in fact--meaning in the sense that all the moments are following each other in a queue, reaching somewhere. No, life is not moving anywhere. It is simply dancing here. The right word is dance, not movement.

Each moment is a dance, and one should enjoy each moment as it comes, as it happens. Then your burden will disappear completely. That's what freedom is--to be in the moment, to be of the moment, never worried about the past, never worried about that which has not come yet, and never trying to make a logical sequence out of anything.

--------------------

AND, voila! #310:

TWILIGHT

Many people have entered into existence through twilight.

***

In India, the word sandhya--twilight--has become synonymous with prayer. If you approach and orthodox Hindu who is praying, he will say, "I was doing sandhya--I was doing my twilight." When the sun rises, just before sunrise, there is a great change. The whole passive existence becomes active. Sleep is broken; dreams disappear. The trees and birds and life everywhere arise again. It is a resurrection. It is a miracle every day. If you allow yourself to float with it in that moment, you can rise to a very high peak.

And the same change happens when the sun sets. Everything quiets, calms. A tranquility, a deep silence, pervades existence. In that moment, you can reach to the very depths. In the morning you can reach to the very great heights; in the evening you can reach to the very deep depths, and both are beautiful. Either go high or very deep. In both ways you transcend yourself.

----------------------

I'm not sure if today, Friday the 13th, is the 319th day of the year, but I'm choosing this one last OSHO Everyday because it just resonates with me. Here it is, #319:

Society has been suppressing three things: sex, death, and the absurd. And the absurd is the most suppressed.

****

There are Freuds against the suppression of sex, and they have created a little atmosphere so that people can be freed of that. More than sex, death is the taboo. Death still needs a Freud to fight against its suppression so that people can allow their feelings about death, so that they can think about and meditate on it, and the fact that death exists so it is no longer a taboo. But even deeper than the taboo against death is that against the absurd. My whole fight is against this taboo.

I would like you to be absurd, because that's how existence is. It is meaninglessly meaningful, illogically logical. All the contradictions, all the paradoxes, are in an inner coherence. Are you yourself not absurd? How can you prove that you are needed here in any way? Does existence need you? Existence would do fine without you, perfectly fine. You were not, existence was; you will not be, and existence will, so what is the point of your being here?

If you allow laughter and you feel that it is absurd, just hidden behind it is the real absurdity--not the laughter, but the one who is laughing. Allow it, and soon you will see that it releases you to the infinite sky. Even the confinement of logic is dropped. Then you simply live; you don't ask for meaning. Then each moment is intrinsically meaningful--or meaningless, they are the same.

Bravo, OSHO.......and you oughtta know because you're dead!

-----------------------

if anyone made it this far, thanks be to the god/desses..........once again, Happy Friday the 13th!TGIFF!!!

Love from your SisSTARxoxoxo

Cat "Humor"

2009-10-23T21:51:00.003-05:00

Have to share this I got in an email today. I've watched it 5 times and the words
that go with the video are so hilarious to me (but I must have a sick sense of humor).
I love the real "emphasis" on some of the words. Hope you enjoy! (whoever you are,
my teeny tiny teensie weensie fan base ;oD) ............Love from your SisSTAR xo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx1-USbXVRk

Sunday Speed Bump

2009-10-11T10:51:00.001-05:00

TGIFNight!

2009-10-09T18:58:00.002-05:00

Again, photo credit unknown, from a fwd yrs ago. Thanks to whoever took it!

So after my earlier rant of the day, I had a pretty good afternoon at work and got a lot accomplished. The doc was in good humor and we laughed some, which always helps. Him and a patient heard what was the shredder operating and thought I was singing or something - ha!

I decided that since it was pouring buckets of rain all day and all night that I would look for any and all fall colors I could see through the drizzly darkness on my drive home and there were beautiful oranges, reds and yellows trying hard to be noticed ... to uplift my spirits if I'd only look. I will walk on our little 2 acres tomorrow rain or not in my big green wellies and notice any beauty I can find. I also did a little prayer/rain dance sending rain out there to Dancin' Fool in the UK as she had written that it hadn't rained there in over 6 wks and trees she has planted needed rain badly. So, DF, I hope it helps you out!!!

Well, Ghost Whisperer is on so I gotta get off of here. Jeff left me a chicken sandwich from Burger King (the "free" of the buy one get one ;oD) and that was my dinner, plus a few crackers and peanut butter and a caffeine free Coke. Life is good...3 hrs of TV watching now and then Jeff should be home shortly thereafter. And tomorrow is another day..........I do so want to see the sun shining, but it is shining brighter in my heart and mind now and I won't waste my good moments worrying about bills or groceries or weather.........it's what it is!

Love from your SisSTAR xo

Rainy, Gloomy but TGIF

2009-10-09T10:48:00.003-05:00

Photo credit unknown...thanks whoever you are!

Today is a rough day for Tuffy Boy because it's been pouring rain all night long and the bed we had outside all sheltered for him somehow got soaked anyway...so he spent his morning scrunched underneath my T-bird in the mud ... then came in, went in the garage and hung out awhile...came back in...went out under the car, came in, got brushed, attacked my hand, ate more, just went out after howling his displeasure. Such is life.

Today is also Friday which we are so grateful for, even if it is gloomy as hell and no end in sight, as it seems. There was supposed to be a "new neighbor" bbq at work from the new Century21 office OUTDOORS today ... but I'm not gonna miss beans and weenies much. The Cheerios and toast will suffice until I get home this evening from work.

A great thing we just learned is that one of our credit cards' interest rates is going up sky high beginning January since they CAN get away with it...and that includes the high balance already on it. We will probably have to get a consolidation loan to pay the frickin' things off. With our health insurance payments practically $600 a month (yes, with $5,000 deductibles each) we are about ready to cancel those and let the chips fall as they may. That'd go a long way to paying off credit card balances that won't go away. I usually remain quite positive, or I can force myself to swing back that way when I get down over the lack of any increase in our wages and the increase now repeatedly in water rates, interest rates, cars hanging in there, both 15 yrs old and counting (thank you, cars!) and property taxes, etc. etc., but when there's really no cash left to barely eat after the bills are paid, it gets to you after awhile. Eating at Wendy's is cheaper than groceries most the time on the $1 menu ... and we just got a notice that Tuffy is due for his shots, which he desperately needs since he wants to live outside most the time and there have been 3-4 other strays hanging around lately. Thankfully he is neutered, but I doubt they are, nor are they probably lucky enough to have shots and flea treatments, etc. Well..........I'm depressing myself, so I'm sorry for whoever reads this, don't want to bring you down. BUT!!! I am ALWAYS hearing other people go on and on and on about their sorry assed luck and I bite my tongue thinking, no, Kyle, don't go there, don't say how you haven't been to a doctor, dentist, gotten new glasses in, what, 5 yrs or more? I AM truly grateful that we have 3 jobs between the two of us........thank god for that. We have heat (60 degrees to keep the bills down all winter) and we had air cond this summer so I could breathe (with exorbitant bills) ... and we occasionally go to a movie maybe once a season.......but the movies at the library are free, even if they do break down so much and so much for the "CD/DVD" technology is so perfect bullshit.

I do work for two psychiatrists so I listen to others' problems all the time and type each patient's progress notes for the most part....thankfully one dr writes his out, but I copy verbatim all his phone messages for those rambling on and on about the horrors they are going through......so let's just say it has rubbed off on me, beginning with the fucking interest rate of a credit card going up on a balance that has been impossible to get paid off in the first place. I just feel bad today and I need to rise above it...........and typing this as fast as a laser beam feels just good to me. Maybe I should go on "Word" and just type a bazillion word rant and feel so much better and breathe a sigh of relief. Oh, yeah, and I got a new Rx for my "rescue" inhaler (and I need rescuing more and more lately) but it's gonna cost me $60 and it's running out quick. Damn! Maybe I'll have to go to Sally's this wkend and find some piece of crap item for a couple dollars that makes me think that I went shopping for something wonderful! That's the ticket!

Hope you are having a better day..........and don't let me bring you down, it's only castles burning.

"Backs broke bending digging holes to plant the seeds, the owners ate the cane while the workers eat the weeds, put money in the stove and water in the cup, you work so hard that you died standing up."

KLH-Keep Laughin', Honey! (it only hurts when I DON'T laugh...)

Old poem for my dad

2009-10-05T22:09:00.004-05:00

Photo: Lake Michigan at dusk

(freighter in background)

***

Having just experienced a death of someone close, I was nosing into my old photos and mementos again. I always seem to do that when someone dies. I found many great photos and letters from my mom and and things I've written in the past. Well, I just ran across this poem that I wrote 3 yrs after my father died depicting actual events that kept happening to me, which I deemed as "messages" from him. We always used "XO" for "hugs and kisses" in letters and such. Another thing was when I was a little girl I thought when you died you went into the sky (heaven) and became a cloud, and I would look for my grandma and various pets who had died (and find them, too ;oD) and I'd lay out on the grass and watch the clouds float by. Even as an adult I've done this, at one time seeing an enormous man swimming across the sky, feeling it was my dad, as I was on a 2 hr drive. It was above me for half the trip. My dad used to swim a mile out into Lake Michigan every year and it reminded me of that.

Well, true fact, my father died on Good Friday so his funeral was the day before Easter and I'd promised my husband before it happened that we'd go visit his sister and her family for the holiday and I kept my promise, so other family members could have room to stay with my mom. During our drive I kept seeing so many "messages," esp those posted on church marquees: "He is not dead, he is risen," etc. and repeatedly for weeks there were airplane vapor trails of parallel lines that I kept seeing (of course, since then, learning they were probably waste matter being ejected into the upper atmosphere, which really bummed me out!) but at the time it happened so often that it felt like my father was trying to tell me that we were just parallel worlds apart, very close yet not able to intersect. He also died during a full moon (kinda like yesterday was the Full Harvest Moon). Another message I got after both my parents had died the same day 7 yrs apart was sitting in my mom's living room staring out the picture window (our room/window now) I was looking directly south at night at the stars and, whooooshhh! there was a falling star blazing diagonally across the sky and just a few seconds later, whooooshhhh! another one went in the opposite diagonal, making a gigantic "X" there in front of me...my message being, a big Kiss from my mom and dad. Now I realize you could say I was having "ideas of reference" (as the psychiatrists would call someone telling them these stories for a psych eval ;oD) or that I have a really good imagination, but, nevertheless, there were two falling stars/comets which made a giant X due south at the moment I watched.

All that having been said, the purpose of this post is to copy down this poem I just found. I usually don't like explaining my poetry, but what the heck! I am the only family member of the four of us left, so I may as well "tell the tale", and here it goes:

VAPOR TRAILS

Pink clouds, blue sky,

purple heather on the hillside,

I look up and try to see

your face.

Jet vapors leave two big X's

kisses in the sky

Reminds me of those parallels

I kept seeing--

vapor trails of parallels--

for a few days when

you died.

Dear father, we all miss you,

know you're here now and then

watching over our mother,

and me,

and your son.

We're all doing fine now,

your soul must rest easy

to see,

but someone's still missing

amongst us,

time cannot change

nor peace erase it

that's how it always will be.

So I'll keep watching for messages

as I wander my life along,

like how the moon was full when

you'd gone...

...or did you stay,

leave half yourself with us?

Our realms are just parallel

after all is said

and done.

--klh

In Memoriam

3/23/89

***

On a little side note...my father died around 3 a.m. and at the same time the next "night" my husband and myself were both still awake and mom was trying to go to sleep in my old room when all 3 of us heard 3 very distinct and loud knocks on the side door...

KNOCK...KNOCK...KNOCK

Mom came out of the bedroom, me and Jeff had been in the back room and all 3 of us came out and stared at the door and looked at each other.

Jeff went to the door and opened it and no one was there.

I said to mother, "Was that father?" and she said to me,
"Well, just remember, your father isn't quite himself right now."

I KNOW it was my father's spirit and it was an incredible and wonderful experience.

***

May you all have wondrous messages

from the Universal Soul

and live in

Peace and Joy.

With love from your

SisSTAR

xoxo

Ten Four Good Buddy

2009-10-04T02:02:00.006-05:00

Photo from OSHO
Transformation
Tarot:
"Silence"
HAPPY FULL MOON
The past week we said goodbye to an old friend of the family, my ex-husband, Billy Jarvis. I say "we" because I was honored to be included in talking and visiting with him and his family the past several years as he was terminally ill with end stage cirrhosis. He died early in the morning on Sept. 28th, on the 30th his family was able to see him one last time in bodily form to say goodbye before he was cremated. I again felt very
privileged that his wife, Ruth, told me she would not mind if I was there. She also said she hoped I would come to the memorial service last Friday, on Oct 2nd. After work I went there and stayed from 4:30-7:30 pm and saw so many people I hadn't seen in such a long time. Those people had been my in-laws and I love them all dearly. They had been people my brother loved also, and some had not heard that he had died until this week. I got to watch a streaming DVD of family photos, seeing Billy's life "after me" which appeared to be so full with his wife and her young son, Jeff, and then having 3 sons together, twins Jake and Randy, and less than a yr later, Jordan. Randy was able to come home from Afghanistan in time to be with his father when he died, which was a great blessing. I was shown so many photos of people's children and met grandchildren, Billy and Ruth's granddaughter, Aurora, stared into my eyes forever, and hers were huge and blue, and she looked like she knew a secret. I also got to laugh and talk with Billy's first wife, Mary, whose brother had also died shortly before mine. Billy and I were both born in 1951 and have been married 3 times. Third time's the charm, so they say. I feel very fortunate that I had the opportunity to heal some old wounds, laugh, cry, share some in-depth conversations, and most importantly, be real and honest. He wasn't afraid and said he was at peace, but he cried a lot over having to leave his family and esp his little granddaughter who he fell in love with with all his heart and who would dance and sing for him as he shared his love of music with her. I believe she is just 1 yr old.
It is unfortunate that often funerals and loved ones' deaths are some of the only times that people gather together and show love and respect for one another. Life is so precious and it does go on.........and death is just part of it all. His memorial card he chose himself and the message inside was his: A Free Spirit Makes a Happy Soul. Be a happy soul, Billy, and I will keep in touch with your family. That song you chose keeps going through my head...Ozzy Osbourne's "See you on the other side," and his "Mama, I'm Coming Home." I'm not sure how it all works, but if it is true that you have a "reunion" with your loved ones...and mine...please give them all my love and give Dana a punch on the arm for me, OK? and thank you for being part of my life, which truly enhanced my Soul.
William Dean Jarvis
2-12-51 to 9-28-09

Autumn Arrives

2009-09-22T20:41:00.002-05:00

Dishwashing Zen

2009-09-13T23:55:00.002-05:00

what Truth can go through your mind when you're washing the dishes:

"I was listening to Japanese Kodo Drumming music by MondoHead as I washed my genuine porcelain China from Japan." -klh 9/13/09

Sunday Funday

2009-09-13T13:05:00.003-05:00

2009-09-07T00:46:00.002-05:00

"Labor" comes before giving birth

2009-09-07T00:20:00.006-05:00

dreamin' while awake

2009-09-05T01:26:00.003-05:00

Happy Full Moon Friday

2009-09-03T22:20:00.004-05:00

Full Moon got you, Bunky?

Enjoy your Labor Day weekend, everyone

and try not to work too hard, unless

it is working on having fun,

being happy,

loving yourself and your family

and friends.

Not always my favorite time of year,

watching the summer winding down,

the season wending its way to

autumn

;o( boo hoo

but!

Be Here Now!

live each day as its own world

wrapped around you in loving arms

give others a smile, and especially

smile at your reflections in passing windows

in the mirror

smile at the moon

and

HOWL!

Oooowwwwwwhhoooooooo!

Yowza, Baby!

Peace

Love

You

Me,

too!

from your SisSTAR

xoxoxoxoxo

Resonating with someone

2009-08-30T02:01:00.003-05:00

Today for some reason (or several) I had about an hour to feel sad and lonely. It wasn't because I didn't have love or friendship to ease some mental anguish, it's just that it felt at that moment there was no one to understand that I, too, have sorrow going on in my psyche nearly everyday. I don't want to be that way, but in the depths of my heart and Soul, I feel a certain loneliness that is hard to impart to others. This painting was sent in an email...something about Jesus. That's all well and good, but when I look at it, I see myself and many others, those of us needing to feel there is Something greater than ourselves understanding and loving us, no matter what we're feeling about ourselves that isn't always "healthy" or could be convoluted and disjointed...just a few friends now and then who can love you because...just because. Not because you did anything of a shining example sort, or because you were clever or helpful or supportive, just because. (Notice how I switched cleverly from "I" to "you" here...don't you hate it when that happens? ;o) I'm not certain at all what I'm even trying to convey here, just that today for a short while I just played some old familiar songs and sang them loudly and bawled my eyes out. Daddy always said crying was "cleansing the Soul" ... so I figure my Soul got a good scrubbing for this month. So on behalf of myself...and all too often I pride myself on being "together" and "strong" and "witty" and "empathetic" ...on behalf of myself and any others of you out there who might have come upon this posting, I want to say that it just has to be OK to let my hair down and feel whatever I feel...and if there's no one to share that with, then I'll share it with that Higher Self standing behind me on some other plane, the one who understands more than I ever could, and know that tears and laughter go hand in hand and I won't apologize nor will I feel ashamed. Sometimes I need to get off kilter, off balance, to find my center once again. The fact that I can dare to tippy toe out on that limb and even write it here tells me that my Center has just breathed a sigh of relief. And so it is.............from your SisSTAR xoxo.

Her favorite thing to do was

2009-08-21T19:34:00.002-05:00

We had to put Mandy Girl to sleep 3 yrs ago tomorrow ... a very sad day, but the joys she brought to us and many of our friends (she'd give Kristine kisses but hardly ever us!) they will always bring us wonderful memories to temper any sorrow. She loved Frosty Paws, the little cups of dog ice cream you could buy in a 4-pk at the grocery store freezer dept. It was like crack for dogs ... our dog before Mandy was called Huey and he was so addicted to it all you had to do was whisper "frosty paws" and he'd start crying and whining. So, of course, we wanted to make sure Mandy had the same monkey on her back, eh? On a hot summer day she'd go outside with her cup of Frosty Paws like in this photo, and nothing could persuade her to even look away until she was done licking it clean. She got one 3 yrs ago tomorrow and she loved it. She never liked other dogs, as her papers from the Humane Society told us when we adopted her, and if any would walk by the fence, she would turn into some Cujo from Hell dog, which was so unbelievable because she was so sweet. She was probably attacked when young. She was purportedly a year old when we got her. We had her nearly 11 yrs and we miss her so. We haven't gotten another dog...just a few wks after we buried her in the yard (I've told this story before, but bear with me), a cat came running up to me as I was weeding the flowers on her grave, rolling around my feet and crying and reowing like crazy. We did NOT want a cat or any pet. We started giving it food (duh!) way off away from the yard (duh again) and then after about 3 wks, we had the vet who put Mandy to sleep come back and check him out. Since we made an appt for him to be checked out, we decided we didn't want his appt to be for "Stray Cat Sloan" so we named him Tuffy. I won't dare post a photo of him here...but I have a big lock of Mandy's hair and it is, I swear, the same color as Tuffy Boy's. He loves to eat the same kind of grass that she did. He gets to sleep on practically anything he decides to, even the furniture, unlike Mandy (except when we were gone, but we caught her slinking off the couch a few times). He was a gift, I believe. She truly was a gift. The dream I had of her last night was lucid, me yelling at her for stealing a big chunk of suet out of the bird feeder on the fence. Then I realized while dreaming, hey! you're dead! You go ahead and eat that if you want...or at least try and tick me off stealing it! You go, Girl! and then, poof! she went.
klh xo

Missing Mandy Girl

2009-08-21T19:28:00.003-05:00

Assignment

2009-08-17T00:14:00.002-05:00

I was actually cleaning my bedroom today and found the book Cherokee Feast of Days by Joyce Sequichie Hifler (daily meditations) which had a list I'd made out, year unknown? that I thought I would post tonight. I invite any of you to list 10 things also:

List 10 Happy Childhood Memories:

1) Jumping on the furniture Saturday mornings with Dana (esp to find change in the sofa and chairs).

2) Making Grandma's (then Mom's) 1957 Packard's torsion level go up and down by weighing the back down sitting on it--usually me and Dana--then switching to the front and doing it again, and Repeat! It would make a little "bzzzzzzzz" sound and raise slowly up. We thought it great fun.

3) Grandma Link brushing my hair and making 2 ponytails on the sides. Mom and dad always cut my hair really short and the bangs straight across, higher and higher as they'd cut them crooked. So to have 2 little pony tails was exquisite!

4) Swinging--at school, Grandma's apple tree, our awesome handmade log swing. Way up high and flinging myself all around. And parachuting out. Had a trapeze bar, too, and I'd swing on that sitting or hanging by my knees. Our collie, Chi Chi, would try to catch me back and forth when I hung upside down.

5) Kind principal in kindergarten. Mrs. Thorpe. and the kind janitor, Mr. George. I was sick a lot and missed a lot of school and in hospitals for lengthy stays.

6) Snakes--garter snakes, of course, and all critters. My dad helped us not to be afraid of them and we took joy in searching them out and carrying them around with us, making necklaces and bracelets with them. They like being held. Of course, I didn't grow up around poisonous snakes, so I had that going for me.

7) Going for long drives in the country--the 4 of us--going up north every spring to hunt morel mushrooms, staying in cottages and cabins and at grandma's or aunts' houses in the summer and a lot of holidays--lots of cousins, aunts, uncles--old family friends of parents to visit. My dad had 7 brothers and 1 sister and mom had 2 sisters.

8) Eating mom's homemade cookies ;oD ... Raiding the cookie jar ALWAYS.

9) A few good friends--in the neighborhood and at school.

10) Riding my bike--gave me a way to go fast as I could never run very well or at all with asthma. I loved the little hill and curve our house was at the top of (still live there) and learned how to fly down or up the hill and curve with "no hands" ... such a feeling of freedom and speed.

11) (bonus # ;o) Hula-hooping. Thinking about buying one of those new-fangled gigantic ones that maybe I could use today as the kids variety just won't work for me anymore.

****Here's another tidbit with this note I found of a conversation Olivia deHavilland had with Erroll Flynn and her commentary:

EF: "What do you want out of life?"

ODH: "Respect for difficult work well done. What do you want out of life?"

EF: "Success."

ODF: And by that he meant fame and riches, and that wasn't enough.

-------"I decided I would torture EF and we had (scenes) with many kisses and I'd look

forward to and I'd mess up the scenes, 6, 7, 8 times and we'd have to kiss all over again...I

believe he had trouble with his tights."

*********

And for today's Cherokee Feast meditation:

August 17th:

We really never lose anyone. If they were ever a part of our lives, they are always a part of our lives. The important thing is not to regret what has gone before but to take from it the lesson, the experience that was in it for us. Life is a two-way street, not always sunshine and flowers but a few clouds, a few tears, go with it. It is a complex mixture of many things we are supposed to glean from it. We cannot park by what went wrong, nor can we linger forever by something we might have done right. It is a progressive, moving time filled with new experiences, memories b oth good and not so good, and many promising hours. It is possible to put our emotions aside and remember joy. But above all, the best is yet to be.

"The Great Spirit placed me here...to take good care of the ground and to do each other no harm." --Young Chief

**************

Remember those happy moments in childhood ... and also create some new memories now. Be happy and find joy. Jeff and I were sitting together in our living room last night and a humming bird just buzzed to the middle of the window beside us and looked in. In Native American spirituality, I've read the Hummingbird stands for "Joy".

Goodnight from your

SisSTAR.......with love and gratitude for your friendship.

Oh to see Lake Michigan again

2009-08-14T18:36:00.003-05:00

It was 2 wks ago right now I was up north at the wedding. The mother of the bride is my 2nd cousin Sondra and the header I chose today at the top of my blog are the beautiful flowers in jars with rocks they gathered in the bottom. You folks might be sick of hearing about it, but it was such a lovely moment in time for me. Let me tell ya, it beats the hell out of funerals! Thanks for the nice time, and I hope Amanda and Ed are enjoying their 2 week anniversary ;oD

Only being up there a short time was really sad. Seems like months ago already since work has been so busy. I am grateful it is Friday night and we have no plans...heavy sigh....oh, to see Lake Michigan again, it would be such a pleasant thing to do. The bride and groom actually DID jump off the pier and the photographer even got photos of them under water! Wowie! I was able to watch a little video of it on my Facebook. Sondra gave me the 3 separate larger rocks she'd hand painted with Peace Love and Happiness on them saying they reminded her of me. Of course, complete with peace symbol, a heart and a smiley face. Strange enough! I have little magnets on a lamp in my living room with just the symbols, so I grouped them together. Some moments you work up to so quietly and eagerly with such anticipation, then the crescendo of the moment at hand, then the ebbing away and then the memory. Life is like that.

I wish all of you Peace, Love and Happiness ebbing and flowing beautifully through your lives, Always & Forever.......from your SisSTAR XOXOXO

Remembering my brother again

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Dana Meredith Haswell, Jr.

Sept 17, 1953 - Aug 10, 2006

I will always miss you,

Little Brother

8-10-06 was a Thurs night around this time

and the moon was full like it is

right now...

I'll see you in my dreams.

Love from,

your sister, Kyle Lynn

xoxo

Friday, July 31st, Elberta Beach, Lake Michigan

2009-08-05T11:19:00.000-05:00

They Took the Plunge

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Amanda and Edward Cheladyn

they took the plunge literally!

The wedding was lovely with beautiful weather

was so good to see family again and

good friends

We had fun stopping at some resale stores

and got some "practical" souvenirs

Strangely enough, I took no photos this trip

but there are many memories and

good feelings lingering on

Congratulations to the newlyweds!

Live long and prosper!

;oD

Love from your

SisSTAR

xoxo

Lake Michigan Wedding tomorrow

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This is the place, these are the bride and groom!

Aren't they so cute?

Edward and Amanda will be

husband and wife tomorrow

on Lake Michigan beach!

Congratulations!

***

Savoy Brown-Take It Easy ;oD

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Check out this very lazy and fun and interesting video. Sorry, I haven't figured out how to embed the whole video on my blog so you can just click, but this is pretty darned easy, too, so JUST DO IT! (;oD)
and take it easy, baby! xo from your SisSTAR xo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwH9fU-34ZA